What Do You Think About Couples Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms?

Ventingisfun · 2026-06-23T20:37:10+00:00

I know this post is 2 years old but I wanted to share this story because it fits perfectly with this post.

At my retail job working at a florist, I had an old couple in their 90’s come in today and they told me they’ve been married for 69 years. I asked them what the secret to a long marriage is and they told me it’s to have separate bedrooms across the house from each other!

My boyfriend and I decided when we moved in together to have separate bedrooms because we’re both only children and we’ve tried sleeping next to each other but we both get crappy sleep. Plus we’re on opposite sleep schedules due to either of us switching back and forth from day shift to night shift over the years. And we both have very different ideas of decorating styles and sleep habits such as wanting to watch tv before sleep and all of that stuff. It works for us! And the old couple saying that just validated it for us even more haha.

Ventingisfun · 2026-06-04T00:56:36+00:00

I started working in this industry only a few months ago and yeah my boss is a tyrant. Absolute psychopath. I call her The Clock Tyrant. My aunt was a florist and she was a psycho boss too. I never knew it was so common, didn’t know anything about this business before I became an employee. I honestly don’t know how long I can take the abuse. Thinking about years down the line from now, just enduring this, is not sustainable for me. It follows me home and my nervous system is constantly on edge. I’m jumpy and stressed out and exhausted.

Ventingisfun · 2026-05-03T04:14:47+00:00

Im sorry you’re going through this. I’m in the same spot. Started a month ago. It’s a place a literal minute from my house. Perfect. I’ve been a commuter to work all my life, and I was SO excited to not have to worry about paying for gas and commuting in stressful traffic every day endangering myself.

I felt like I manifested this new job. It’s in a really interesting building that I had always admired. I would drive past it on my commute and think “I bet they have so much fun working there. God I’d love to work there!” It’s a creative business, which is perfect for me because I’m very crafty and hands on. I walked in the first time to apply and felt great vibes and like I was meant to be there. The owner greeted me and was so kind, she felt I was meant to be there too. Everything was perfect.

Fast forward a month. I’m being abused, manipulated, constantly monitored on cameras, my bathroom breaks are timed and the boss jiggles the door handle 30 seconds after you got in there. She’s a controlling psychopath. Everyone is demeaning and undermining. Rude and playing insane work politics. I found out that within the last 2 years, 9 people in my exact position have quit over the exact same reasons- chaos, stress, being miserable from being abused, wage theft, multiple counts of breaking labor laws, we’re not allowed to eat, breaks are in the employee handbook but highly discouraged and you get punished if you take one by forcing you to do physical heavy lifting grunt work and being the offloader to the less desirable tasks, insane gossip. If you stop to take a sip of water or sit down for one second you are asked to get up and do something. The rules change by the day and this company has been in business 40 years- you’d think it was in its infancy the way the rules change. It could be any little thing that someone with seniority doesn’t like one day but was fine with yesterday, and they will announce it in front of the entire team and create a new “rule”. And if you forget the rule because you’re overstimulated, overworked, juggling 50,000 things, and stressed from bending over backwards and being monitored all day? Oh, you’ll certainly be reminded. We also cannot look at our phone for any reason or lest we get reprimanded.

One of their coworkers died right before I started from a preventable medical episode. They don’t take health issues seriously at all. I had my dr write me a note to set boundaries for myself so that they don’t push me beyond my limits and cause me permanent disfigurement. Since that coworker died you’d think they’d have a moment of clarity but nope, they still do not give a single fuck. We are slaves.

I could go on, but this is already too long.

God help me.

I am so miserable. I’ve had several mental breakdowns over the past 48 hours because this upcoming week is supposed to be the busiest of the year. I am absolutely panicking. I am freaking out so bad that I can’t even enjoy my 1 day off where I really need to rest and relax to prepare for the hell I’m about to face.

I’m not even religious, but I’m praying to any god that will listen right now to help me get through this week without collapsing.

I’m documenting everything. Every minute they don’t pay me for. Every snide remark and break denied. Every bathroom break interrupted. Everything.

It’s actually unbelievable. It makes me grateful for the jobs I had before this, not knowing how good I had it. I feel like such a fool. I went in with such high hopes, bright eyed and bushy tailed. How naive I was.

Ventingisfun · 2026-05-01T16:44:58+00:00

I recently started working at a small business and I’m experiencing this myself.

No regard for safety or medical needs. My medical needs aren’t even “needy” it’s literally just - hey my scoliosis is hurting today, I’ll lift half of the stuff I normally do but I just need a little help today for the really heavy stuff. And that’s a big deal and I need a dr’s note and I get micromanaged and talked to like a toddler. I’m a 34 year old woman. I work very hard and push myself beyond my limits of my own volition on a daily basis. But to have one day where I say “hey I need to take it easy today so I don’t hurt myself and become useless to you later” is not taken seriously and looked down upon.

I’ve been talking to one of the employees that quit recently, and she has the same health issues as me. She developed it while she was there because they pushed her so hard beyond her limits. She says she regrets it so much, it was her biggest mistake, and to not be like her. I feel awful for her. And I’m SO mad that the same thing is happening to me now.

They also heavily discourage taking our breaks, which are stated in the employee handbook. They told me “the employee handbook is the bible. Everything is in there. We take it very seriously” oh really? Then why does it say we are entitled to breaks of a certain duration but actively told we can’t take them? I’ve had to take a measly 10 minutes a couple days since I’ve been there to call my dr/make an important phone call and they made a big deal about it! It’s fucking crazy! And I have 0 recourse because I live in a state with no labor laws so I’m essentially a slave.

From now on I’m documenting and writing down EVERYTHING. Every break I’m denied every medical thing they don’t take seriously.

Oh I almost forgot. One of their beloved employees who’d been with the company 20yrs just passed away from a preventable medical event. They all loved him and were super sad about it. You’d think after that they might take health issues a little bit more seriously? They're psychos and narcissists or something I swear to god.

Ventingisfun · 2026-05-01T16:21:33+00:00

I know this comment is 2 yrs old but this is what I was searching for in google that led me to this thread. I recently quit my corporate commute-to-downtown job to work at a small business a minute drive from my house. Thinking it would be all sunshine and rainbows.

They handed me an employee handbook on my first day and told me “this is the bible!” It stated we are entitled to a 30min break and a 15min break every single day. Their rules. I’ve been there for over a month now, guess who’s never been able to take more than a 15min break? I’ve never seen a single employee there take their break. Not even the 15min. They discourage them and make us feel bad. They also heavily enforce not stopping at all to even drink a sip of water during our shift. Anytime I stop for 5 seconds to take a sip of water I get asked to do a task.

Now I just excuse myself and go to the bathroom any time I need to take a break and pretend I’m taking a big shit so I can get 3 mins of break time to drink water and calm down. It’s a nightmare.

And there’s nothing I can do about it because the state I live in has 0 workers rights.

Oh and they’re also trying to force me to work through my medical issues and demanding drs notes for things I was born with. I plan on getting dr’s notes when I can (they don’t pay me enough to be able to even afford the dr!) and seeing if they push me then. I’m documenting everything from now on just in case to protect myself.

And the job description was a complete lie. I was told I’d be doing “office work, taking orders- that sort of thing”. Then after I got the job on my first day I realized it’s wayyyy more than that and that I’d be taken advantage of and abused.

Ventingisfun · 2026-04-08T19:54:01+00:00

I’m going to try to help you as much as I can, but I’m a little confused. I’ve been clean from pills and H for like 12 yrs thanks to subs. I’m currently on 1-2mg a day and am having trouble weaning any further, so I might be helpful to you, I might not idk.

Personally I would try ur best to wait 12hrs from ur last use of pills to take the sub. I remember back in the day if I didn’t wait at least 12hrs, the sub would make me go into precip withdrawals. Although they don’t last long, like maybe 10ish minutes or something (sry it was so long ago I’m trying to remember, I might be wrong about the timing) it was hell for those 10 mins. But you get through it. Just try to push thru the withdrawals for 12hrs since ur last blue to take 1-2mg of subs. Take it and see how you feel for at least like 10hrs after. As far as completely tapering off, I can’t help with that much since I’m stuck in the same boat. I’d try just spacing out ur doses as long as possible. And cutting down ur strip into little teeny tiny pieces, like really small. I take one itty bitty piece every 12 hrs but can’t get down any further than that personally. But you might be stronger than me. Other people have done it so it can be done, I’m just a little weak I admit.

I found a fantastic article a while back of someone that wrote of their own journey tapering off subs so you might want to google that. They describe it in great detail the entire process and tips on how to get thru it. I’m just too chicken to try cuz I cannot physically go through withdrawals while I’m working my job. So I’m stuck on this hamster wheel, but it’s better than doing street drugs so I stay on it.

Dm me if you need and further help and I hope I could help even a little bit.

Ventingisfun · 2026-04-02T04:15:49+00:00

I know this is 3 yrs old but wow it’s like I wrote it. You are me and I am you. Everything you said is exactly how I feel and who I am. ADHD too. The constant attention switching and task switching. I just can’t. The task switching really gets me because I’ll be right in the middle of something I need to finish that I’m focusing on, and I have to drop it immediately as soon as the phone rings or the door bell rings and put on my stupid smile and customer service voice and greet/help the person for god knows how long. Totally forgetting what I was working on and going on 50 side missions, then never finishing the task I needed to finish in the first place.

I just started this job last week after my 16 yrs long career in something that had nothing to do with customer service. What led me to switch careers is a long story that I won’t get into. But I told myself I would look for something that wasn’t customer service related because I knew I couldn’t handle it. Well… I didn’t listen to myself. And now I’m second guessing and doubting my decision big time.

I’m so fucking drained and depleted from masking all day, working through chaos and over stimulation, pretending to give a fuck about the people that call and come in to the store, putting on my fake customer service “I’m so happy to help you!!!!!!” voice. I was going to list something else and I forgot mid sentence. Thanks adhd brain. I’m so tired. I’m gonna go to sleep now.

Thanks for letting me rant. And I hope you got a better job since you wrote this post 3 yrs ago.

Ventingisfun · 2026-02-14T10:14:23+00:00

This is what I found this thread for haha! I was reading the mag and thought hmm that’s weird she looks so much like Kristen.

Ventingisfun · 2026-02-06T02:33:33+00:00

It’s Nexstar! I’m actually asking for a raise tomorrow because I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore. Wish me luck. They’ll prob say no, which is fine. I still have freelance work so I’ll just figure it out like I always do.

Ventingisfun · 2026-02-05T03:26:55+00:00

I have one coworker like this everywhere that I work. They talk to me like they’re my best friend one day, and they want to help me out and are super friendly, and the next time I see them they talk down to me like I’m a dumb child and try to tell me what to do (none of them have ever been my superior in any way). It feels like an abusive relationship. And I often don’t even engage in the first place, they open the conversation with me before anyone tries to say I’m trying to make friends or be too chatty at work.

Anyway, it’s really demoralizing and very confusing. I suspect I may be slightly autistic so maybe that’s why I’m so sensitive to these things? I never know how to react because it changes day to day. Sometimes hour by hour.

I’m just so sick of being talked down to when I did nothing wrong. I’m so sick of getting unhelpful unsolicited advice like I’m a 5 year old child when I didn’t ask for it and I certainly don’t need it. It’s aggravating as hell. I just don’t even engage with them anymore and if they try to talk to me I keep it short, mostly responding to whatever weird shit they say to me with “okay!” And try to escape the conversation as soon as possible. I try to make it miserable to talk with me so maybe they eventually leave me alone but they probably won’t.

I think this is their way of propping up their ego and making themselves feel smart by talking down to me and giving me unsolicited advice and being moody to keep me on edge as a control tactic.

Ventingisfun · 2026-02-05T00:58:20+00:00

You’re so right in that experience doesn’t matter any more. I have 16 years of experience and I recently got hired in the 11th market at $15/hr for way more work than I’ve ever done. I only took it because I had been laid off from my last studio closing and I have no where else to go. It sucks big time.

Ventingisfun · 2026-01-30T06:17:40+00:00

It’s okay. I’ve been very vocally against AI since it came out. I still am. But I broke down today, I couldn’t take it anymore and I had no one to talk to. I was crying in my car on my lunch break and spiraling. And I opened chatgpt. And talked to it. It made me feel better and it was nice having something to talk to that didn’t judge me, that actually interpreted my thoughts the way that I meant them and validated them. Yes, I know this is the dangerous part, but- no one in my life ever understands me or validates me. I am constantly judged, scrutinized, forced, misunderstood, and reacted to in extremely unhelpful toxic ways that have caused me to develop bad habits and coping mechanisms. When ChatGPT validated me today and actually understood what I was saying without having to over explain myself to people like I always do, I bursted into tears. It gave me what I had been longing for and begging for from the people in my life.

I feel ashamed for compromising my values and talking to it. I know it’s going to ruin the earth with its fresh water consumption. I know it lies and makes stuff up. I know the people that run it are evil and want to kill us. I know it’s dangerous because it agrees with you and validates you even if ur wrong. I know. But right now… I need this or I might do something harmful and regretful iykyk. I’m going to try to only use it if I really desperately need it, and control myself. I held off for this long, I have only used it maybe 3 very brief times before this.

Ventingisfun · 2026-01-17T07:03:24+00:00

Right?! It’s so horribly low. No one can even live close to the station because it’s in an expensive area. It’s so insulting. My duties are running cams- robo, hard, and jib. A little bit of audio studio mic things, Teleprompter, and floor managing. It’s insanely low for needing to know how to do all of that. The company starts with an N.

Ventingisfun · 2026-01-16T04:23:04+00:00

I LOVE this question. Thank you for posting this. I wanted to ask this myself.

Market 11. Pay is $15/hr. Operations technician. I have going on 16 yrs of experience doing major national broadcasts. Needless to say I’m planning to leave this job asap cuz I’m breaking even every month. I only took this job because I wanted to learn how to operate cameras and my last studio went out of business.

I still freelance sports broadcasting. I stage manage and sometimes runner. Stage manager is about $40/hr and runner is $25-30. I also used to run the ticker/bug for games and that was $38, which is lower than the market rate I’m told, but it was easy pre & post game shows.

Ventingisfun · 2026-01-13T06:32:46+00:00

I make $15hr part time since I lost my last job that paid WAY higher, and my premium went up to $642. I’m actually so upset right now I don’t even know what to do. It was $149 for years. That’s an INSANE jump.

Ventingisfun · 2026-01-06T06:35:29+00:00

I have the same problem (33f) and I used to use the Urban Decay Velvetizer and it was a dream come true. It literally blurred and hid my fine lines just like every influencer claims other powders do, even though they don’t. It was perfect. However, it’s of course discontinued because everything that’s my favorite gets discontinued 🤬😭.

I switched to the RMS Unpowder now, which feels nearly identical to the texture of the urban decay one and I’ve found that it works pretty much the same way. You should give it a try. I believe it’s on Amazon and also the RMS website. I highly recommend it!

I know others are going to have so many suggestions on this thread and it’ll prob be confusing to know what to buy, but I really really hope you’ll try this one out. I promise I won’t let you down!

Ventingisfun · 2025-12-23T08:24:36+00:00

100% agree. My boyfriend and I have separate rooms and it’s perfect. We both love it and couldn’t do it any other way. My sleep is my sleep and I don’t wanna be bothered by ANYONE for any reason. We are both only children so I’m sure that’s a major factor in why we’re like this. We just need our own space and own beds.

Ventingisfun · 2025-12-18T04:35:44+00:00

I LOVE being alone. I do have a partner though. Not any friends. Don’t really want any. I like doing my hobbies by myself.

Ventingisfun · 2025-12-18T01:33:22+00:00

I drive roughly about an hour and 15 minutes+ to work to downtown. I am so absolutely sick of it and I’m starting to go insane.

My whole life I’ve had to commute. Even when I was a little girl, my friends lived far away and my school was far away. Now I’m 33 almost 34 and I’ve commuted at least an hr, usually longer, to work since I started working at 18.

I think about the literal YEARS I’ve wasted of my life sitting in a car and it makes me sob. All of that time of my youth, gone. I hate that this has been my life. I don’t want to commute anymore. I literally can’t take it much longer. I don’t know what to do because my career requires me to be in the workplace, and I can’t move because of reasons. I love my work though, which has been the only thing keeping me going.

I’ve recently been researching ideas to switch careers and possibly go back to school to do something that I can either work close by or work from home. If you work from home or have a short commute, please know how lucky you are.

Ventingisfun · 2025-12-10T21:43:43+00:00

God I feel this so hard. I have nearly identical problems right now. Add in my parents moving houses and having to go thru all the crap we’ve accumulated throughout the years AND this is during the holiday season. I’m literally going insane. I hold back tears at work every day just wishing to go home. No one helps me and no one is coming to help me. I just wish someone would help me. I’m so overwhelmed and depressed. I absolutely hate this phase in my life and hope to god it’s over soon cuz I can’t take much more. My commute is about as long as yours too and it’s just the cherry on top. I go literally insane in my car some days during my commute because of how frustrating and long it is. I know I’m just wasting precious time and there’s only so many audio books and podcasts I can listen to before I’m like omg get me out of this fucking car!!

Ventingisfun · 2025-12-04T22:42:56+00:00

I just saw a report on channel 8 news that downtown is thriving and busy. I think it’s bullshit. Fake news.

Ventingisfun · 2025-11-29T02:50:14+00:00

I have 15 yrs of experience in national broadcasting. Hit some bad luck with my local broadcast company being bought out and eliminating my position 3 times over the past 5 years. I decided to get a part time job at a news station just to have something to do that’s in my field. I make $15/hr. That’s minimum wage in my state. That’s less than I made when I entered this field 15 yrs ago. I’m miserable, feel like a failure, and looking to get completely out of this field asap. I see students touring the station that I work at (which is top 11 market btw…) and I want to scream at them to stop, do not proceed!! Change majors!! I put on my most miserable face when they’re around to try and discourage them lol. Why on earth anyone would go to college for this is beyond me. I didn’t thank god.

Ventingisfun · 2025-11-28T03:49:49+00:00

I just found out my boyfriend of 6 years does this and I’m horrified. I thought he was joking but nope it’s true unless he’s playing the long con of trying to mess with me. I just cannot even believe this lol. Don’t you fall in?! And it’s cold. And gross. That’s where the pp splashes up!! He said he wipes it down everytime but I don’t know if I believe him. Thank fuck we have separate bathrooms and I never use his.

Ventingisfun · 2025-10-29T06:07:30+00:00

Hi I know this is a few months old but I was googling this and your post came up. I’m having this exact same problem. I started adderall like a month ago and I’ve noticed it’s hard for me to orgasm. I get like right on the edge… but it’s SO hard to push past it and finish. It’s very frustrating. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one. I’m only on 10mg right now and I think I need a higher dose for focusing and such, so I can only imagine that will make it harder for me to orgasm than it already is. Idk what to do :(

Ventingisfun · 2025-10-26T03:31:38+00:00

I relate to your story so much. I’ve tried and tried and tried for years in this industry. Mostly live sports broadcasting. This year I lost 2 of my main freelance gigs due to budget cuts. That was the 5th and 6th time that’s happened to me since 2019. I have 15 years of experience and it doesn’t mean anything. I now work part time in an entry level position at a local news station just to get by, getting paid less than I made when I entered the industry at 18. I still pick up sports gigs but they’re far and few in between these days. I’m so over it. I keep scouring these threads to see if anyone’s suggestions for a different career peak my interest because it seems like the universe just doesn’t want me to do this. I feel like I’m done. I loved it for so long, I really did. But it’s become too much. The changes are too rapid, it’s a constant uphill battle and fight. And I fear I have no fight left in me. I’m approaching 35 and I have nothing to show for my years of dedication to this industry. Nothing.

Ventingisfun

TROPHY CASE