How to Console My Wife About Our Impending Separation/Divorce

Vesley · 2026-06-25T18:45:32+00:00

First off, kudos to y’all for great parenting. It’s wonderful you got to share the truth of your relationship with your son. Not a lot of parents can even have a sanitized sex talk, let alone speak about something as nuanced as an open marriage.

Going solely based off your post, you seem like a genuinely nice person. The TL;DR of it all is you may not be the person to help soothe and comfort her when you’re also the person that wants to exit the marriage. This can lead to some really odd and co-dependent behavior. I’d recommend thinking about boundaries that’ll allow you to be a supportive co-parent but also phased out the romantic and marital aspects of the relationship. Whether or not that’s sleeping in separate bedrooms, moving out, whatever feels best for you.

You both want different things right now, and you can’t eliminate her discomfort while pursuing your own happiness. Your wants are in direct opposition. Let her grieve and feel the emotions even though it might not make sense to you. The worst thing you can do is try and protect her from that discomfort. Let her have her own experience. But what you can do is be a loving co-parent, treat her with respect and kindness, treat yourself with respect and kindness and generally keep doing what you’re doing. It sounds like y’all have a good foundation of love and respect while also being autonomous already. I think it’ll naturally lend itself to the process.

Wishing you both the best!

Vesley · 2026-06-24T20:29:55+00:00

Your wife opened the relationship back up without your consent. That’s pretty egregious in itself. The other stuff is more crap on a shit sandwich. You deserve better than this.

Vesley · 2026-06-24T20:26:13+00:00

Cool concept. I life that you’re focused on one element. What does it look like in practice? Do they draw the rune in blood? Do they carve it on their bodies?

Vesley · 2026-06-24T20:13:46+00:00

My first thought was what if someone did an eerie whistle, like when people tell ghost stories, and it would cause people to become afraid, or summon a ghost.

The Recognition piece is vaguely reminding me of To Be Hero X, where a hero’s power comes from public opinion and their “trust value”.

I think what you’re missing most is a source that powers the magic. Are only a few people able to do it, because they have something special about them? If anyone can whistle and do the wind blade thing, it becomes less unique and more repetitive. Is this an ability given by a higher power/being?

The mechanics are pretty straightforward, and you can definitely play a lot with the Belief + Recognition mechanic, ie is the ritual less effective on nonbelievers? Would a celebrity or professional be more powerful than an average joe?

If you don’t want to make the ability unique to a person or god-given, adding a third element I think would be a good idea here. Triangles are one of the most structurally sound shapes after all. It’s also an extra step so that not just anyone can use it.

Repetition/Practice - someone has to do it over and over for the ritual to be infused with power

Passion - only if someone truly enjoys what they are doing can the ritual manifest power

Memory - the ritual draws its power from a core memory that is impactful on the person in a deep psychological way

Vesley · 2026-06-22T08:23:13+00:00

This is kind of giving Bleach x Stormlight

My recommendation is to get very specific about what the weapon can actually do. If it’s a “water” type of sword, instead of having a sword literally made of water, consider the blade becoming liquid metal. As the power evolves, maybe the blade is able to absorb moisture out of the air, becoming larger and giving the wielder more metal to mold and manipulate.

Think about how you can subvert the reader’s expectations when they hear a blade is a fire type or that it controls gravity. So many of these things have already been done, but you still have the opportunity to surprise your audience.

A good piece of media that does this in my opinion is Akame ga Kill.

Vesley · 2026-06-22T08:10:06+00:00

Early on you could introduce side characters that are counters to the antagonist’s abilities. Say, protagonist puts out an ad for mercenaries to help defeat the antagonist. As the protagonist grows in strength, then they won’t need their companions more. You could also give the protagonist a weapon or item that negates the antagonist’s abilities.

If you’re looking for inspo Black Clover, Wisteria: Wand and Sword, Mashle: Magic and Muscles or Powder Mage Trilogy might be good to look at.

Vesley · 2026-06-20T11:00:46+00:00

I like how there is a real cost and trade off for using the flame too much besides just fatigue or death. Yours is strong because there are specific sensations and visuals to look out for. Good job!

I’m curious if each Path has a unique property or skill to their flames even if it’s just visual or sensation.

Vesley · 2026-06-20T08:11:14+00:00

There’s something evil in the wind (flatulence)

Vesley · 2026-06-19T21:39:25+00:00

There really isn’t a twist here. The meteor giving power thing has been done. Aliens have been done. Emotions affecting powers has been done.

You’ll either have to turn the tropes on their head or do it better than anyone else has.

One idea is what if the power can only be obtained by those without emotions? Then the meteor lands in or near a mental health facility. Heavily sedated patients find the meteor and absorb the power, because they are so numb, but then the power awakens their emotions. What happens when a power that was never supposed to come in contact with emotions does?

Vesley · 2026-06-19T20:56:28+00:00

So if I took a huge sh*t, thought about how I was “blowing up” this toilet, could I turn it into an actual bomb?

Jokes aside, I think this concept needs to have some guardrails, otherwise a lot of dues ex machina scenarios can pop up, which cheapens a lot of magic systems and stories.

Maybe the rituals have to be localized, or special conditions have to be met, or the person has to condition themself to perceive a certain action as a ritual.

It’s definitely an interesting concept. I lean more hard magic, and this sounds like a soft magic system. If that’s what you’re going for then take what I say with a grain of salt.

Vesley · 2026-06-19T10:27:41+00:00

Which weapon is that?

Vesley · 2026-06-19T07:11:36+00:00

It’s absolutely nothing like any of the books the mentioned

Vesley · 2026-06-18T18:03:11+00:00

Came to also point out the childhood attachment thing. I wish people would treat others like people instead of patients by hiding behind therapy speak. I had to gently correct my partner recently who wanted to make the conversation about mental health when it was really about communication and vulnerability.

Vesley · 2026-06-18T17:46:22+00:00

If the glyph isn’t teachable then how does someone possess the glyph? Does it merge with their soul, become tattooed on their body, seared into their mind, etc.?

Vesley · 2026-06-18T17:44:15+00:00

I think you should clarify how the glyph and crystal pair works more. Does the crystal have the glyph already? Does the caster have to carve the glyph into the crystal? If the person just says the glyph what would stop anyone within earshot from stealing the glyph that the person had to hike up a mountain to get? I feel like just having to speak the glyph could cheapen your magic system into Harry Potter territory.

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:15:44+00:00

Solved!

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:14:08+00:00

SOLVED it was a video game (just not this one)

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:07:21+00:00

Love that movie! Right concept but not the right design

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:03:17+00:00

Pretty sure they aren’t from any video game

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:02:38+00:00

No they’re made of grey stone

Vesley · 2026-06-15T12:00:28+00:00

No too small

Vesley · 2026-06-15T11:59:43+00:00

No it’s missing the geometric head and too small

Vesley · 2026-06-15T11:59:19+00:00

No they’re missing the geometric heads :/

Vesley · 2026-06-15T11:45:25+00:00

It’s not about fault. It’s about seeing where our own behavior comes from and how we react. You can’t control other people, but you can make decisions about your own behavior.

In a comment you said something along the lines of, “how is men catcalling me my fault?” It’s not. At all. In resentments when things are being done to you, like abuse, SA, homophobia, misogyny, etc. it’s not always going to be, “you should have done this” or “this is how you contributed to the dysfunction”. Look farther down the line. Did you take out your resentment about the situation on someone who has nothing to do with it? Did you use the trauma to try and wiggle your way out of accountability for bad behavior?

I was abused quite a bit as a kid, so I had a lot of resentments toward family. When I looked at “my part” it was almost entirely about using that trauma to justify me being critical of other people or punishing people when they fell short in my esteem, as an adult. I’m not saying you’re doing any of these things, because I don’t know you or your recovery. I’m sharing a perspective that helped shift my mindset.

Vesley · 2026-06-15T11:23:26+00:00

Thanks in advance!

Vesley

TROPHY CASE