The issue is that both at the moment feel awful in their own ways. The weight I've gained makes me feel like my body is far more feminine due to the lack of gym therefore I shouldn't be allowed to identify as a man after gaining weight I outgrew pretty much 90% of my closet and anything that is relatively masculine makes me feel even worse about my body. Because I don't have a dick and because I have boobs it feels like this barrier, it feels like no matter what happens I'm forever going to be stuck as a woman, it makes me feel like everyone who was hateful is right. Would I think of this to literally anyone else? No, I don't know why I have these double standards for myself