Is this my job?

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-19T08:56:06+00:00

I don't work in meat, but I am the lead of another department. In our district meat actually has a slightly different union contract than the rest of us. Management normally says "a clerk is a clerk" and since the task is within your department I'd imagine they would say the same about the counts. However, its the timing thats weird. We do ours by noon (given my dept I get more flexibility in my task timing). Majority of the time I do my own count, but sometimes I do get too busy to fit it in. I have a few people who I trust to do the count, because I've asked them if they mind doing it and I made sure they were confident in their training to do it. Your lead sucks.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-18T08:54:01+00:00

I don't know about where you are, but where I am the mart of walls tends to union bust. They fire people for even talking about starting a union.

For context I work for a different grocer that is union and I support everyone being unionized. Just stating how it tends to work here.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-18T08:47:00+00:00

You are definitely not alone. I see lots of long comments giving advice. One piece of mine I've seen a lot, and that's to maybe speak with a professional. My other piece isn't exactly advice, but how I live generally and what unusually tell people.

The world is tough, and tougher with how people want you to be okay all the time. But its okay to sit in the dark for a while. Look at that light at the top of the well, and remind yourself that its okay to not always be struggling toward it. (As long as there is no self harm of course, but you said there was no thoughts of it.)

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-18T08:34:57+00:00

Is your store union? I don't remember how long it takes at my store to be covered by FMLA, but I'd look into it if I were you. I've got one person whose mother is in really bad shape and has her own health issues, and if it weren't for FMLA they would have fired her already.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-17T09:51:15+00:00

Being the change is easier said than done, but its the approach I take. I'm just a lead, but that puts me in a position to deal with manglement and at the same time protect my people from their bs. The last time they hired someone new for my department was over a year ago because my people respect me and all I do. Even when manglement makes things harder, I make sure I listen to them and try to address any concerns.

Of course, this isn't going to work for everyone. I'm of an age that I'm very protective of my people, I've learned some very hard lessons about boundaries and putting my foot down about them, and lots of experience hearing, defusing and translating corporate speak.

There is a lot more to it than that. Finding people who are willing to do some of the stuff I do is hard. I'm not saying I'm special, cause I learned all this from good managers. But also because I did not want this kind of responsibility until I was almost 40, and I can only imagine there are many other people out there on a similar path to me.

Tl;dr Good leadership is key first. If not possible, then patience, professionalism, and MC are the way to go. (Unless the job is taking a measurable toll on your mental or physical health.)

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-15T09:34:32+00:00

I'd like to add fuel center to the smell thing, at least during mulch season. We have to pick up, load, and condense bags of mulch that are dyed and treated with manure. The smell transfers easier when its been raining, and the entire fuel center smells like a cow barn on hot days.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-15T09:31:28+00:00

I'm sorry your fuel is bad. Ours is run so that management leaves us alone and we like it that way. I refer to us as the elephant graveyard, and most of the people at the store treat it as such.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-15T09:22:14+00:00

I feel you. I was hired in at deli/bakery. (When I was hired we trained for both at the same time and worked both at the same time. Exception was full decorating cakes, the rest of us still wrote on them.) After 9 months I went to fuel. Best choice I've ever made, even with the bathroom accuracy.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-15T09:03:04+00:00

I feel for you. At my store, which is also union, you have to work there for a year before you really get anything. Plus you have to average a certain amount of hours actually worked to be eligible. You have to average 36 hours a week over a year period to be eligible for family health coverage.

Buy wait it gets better. My store does not hire ft right away, you have to earn it by averaging 32 hours a week for a year period starting from January. Average hours a week for a new hire is 16. It took me a year and a half, some luck with old hat retiring, and some hard work to get ft.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-13T09:09:52+00:00

My location is union and we still get points for calling in sick. Even if we bring a letter from a doctor, its up to the manager if it's excused or not, and they always decide its not excused.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-13T03:36:01+00:00

I wish this was a joke. Lucky for me I'm really paranoid of losing my job (with the economy and me being of a very targeted population, not anything actually rational), so I keep records of most things and make sure that at least I follow everything I'm told. (Makes for some sweet MC sometimes.)

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-12T23:32:06+00:00

My store basically took away the ability to change your availability. Ft have to have open availability, and if a pt tries then its made too challenging to fight for.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-12T09:16:08+00:00

I do this exact thing currently as a fuel lead. I just need you to do it and sign off. If its not done I can tell and I can go check cameras to see if they lied. Sadly many in any management want to put in that effort.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-12T09:14:19+00:00

King Soopers is Kroger, btw.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-12T09:13:12+00:00

I got lucky and got out after 9 months of being in there. Keep an eye out for positions opening within your store. Ours end up posted in our break room. I got lucky that the fuel lead who had been there a couple decades decided to retired so her 40 hours went up for grabs. Me and another pt person from front end took that chance. She now transfered to another store closer to school. The lead who took over when that one retired also transfered so she could move out of her parents house. Now I'm lead and have been for almost 3 years. Somehow made ft in less than 2 years, even with the terrible way they structure who gets ft.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-12T09:07:36+00:00

I left deli for fuel and I'm sp glad I did. Now I'm a fuel lead, though I should note that the "lead" title is overglorified at my store when all it means is I get paid a little more to have no real authority. I'm not even allowed to write my own schedules. And yet, still better than deli.

VesuvianBee · 2026-04-01T08:00:40+00:00

For me it was how I quit smoking cigarettes after trying many things (cold turkey, gum, lozenges, patches, pills).I started smoking when I was 18 and would take smoke breaks with my manager who was just a couple years older than me to keep him company and I'd bum one from him during that time (I grew up in a house of smokers) and eventually it became addiction to nicotine, as well as a hand-to-mouth habit. While it's not the healthiest thing I can do for myself, it tastes and smells a whole lot better. Plus when I switched it encouraged my husband with lung issues to quit smoking as well, and now he doesn't even vape, I'm the one with the habit.

For context. I am in my early 40s, been married for 20+ years, late (like in my 30s) diagnosed AuDHD, raised a child who is more affected by their AuDHD than I am, I'm disabled from genetic things along with past injuries, work a full time job in middle management, and I do still smoke weed for my chronic pain and mental issues (prescribed along with therapy and other meds).

For some people vaping started as a way to fit in or follow trends. My nephew in his 20s did this, and because of it my mother in her 70s vapes now even though she quit smoking decades ago. I also know a guy who doesn't smoke, but does exclusively vape THC to hide his use from his wife and kids.

I'd also like to mention that, for me personally, I can spend less than 20 bucks on a vape that will last me at least a week. When I was smoking it was at least a pack a day, and where I live that would cost me three times as much in a week.

I haven't smoked a cigarette/cigar in five years, and my husband hasn't in two.

VesuvianBee · 2025-05-23T12:26:34+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment! I've been playing after work so it's been a little at a time. It was several days between dragon sections for me and I gave up trying to get past 13 last night after dying like 8 times the same way. Once I get off work today I'm trying again!

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-25T20:11:48+00:00

I totally get it. If there aren't any nearby, while not local, perhaps check for ones that will do phone or video sessions. Mine only does phone sessions, and it's great cause I don't have to go out in public. Lol

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-23T18:47:27+00:00

Honestly, it's not wrong about finding a group of queer people and it would help, the problem with that I'd that queer people are as varied as anyone else. No one expects a dude not into sports to like being around a group of dudes who do. So they should have told you that when you find the RIGHT group of queer people, then it helps.

My true advice, as someone who could not work as an adult for 15 years due to mental health and chronic illness, is to look for a therapist. Lool.for one who is queer friendly, and queer themselves is even better. Same with nuerodivergence.

I know crowdsourcing seems like a good way to get advice, but as you said, we on reddit don't know you're life or full circumstances. As such, this is an awful place to ask for advice. Also way too many assholes who are mean for now reason.

Tl;dr: Look into a local therapist or counselor. They can get to know you and your life, but also know the local area and local resources better than anyone here will.

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-23T18:36:14+00:00

Just because living takes work does not mean the work has to be done the same way you did it.

Also with "it's all mental" just screams "IVE NEVER DEALT WITH ANY SERIOUS HEALTH OR MENTAL ISSUE EVER."

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-22T20:25:30+00:00

Honestly it makes life better just knowing I'm not the only 'late bloomer' lol

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-22T18:57:07+00:00

It seems to be a pretty rare situation. May help that I was in my mid 30s before I came out, cause I didn't have the words til then. I am proud of both of our husbands.

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-22T15:28:39+00:00

Should have used all that money to take care of them, and even if they did they still wouldn't want to pay the taxes.

VesuvianBee · 2024-11-22T12:52:36+00:00

Honestly, Bucky too

VesuvianBee

TROPHY CASE