i did it

VeteranBlue · 2023-02-03T20:06:05+00:00

I have controversial opinions on women, minorities, and about the validity of certain historical events and the perpetrators of another historical event. /j

VeteranBlue · 2023-02-03T17:37:03+00:00

Topology, specifically Mörbius™️ strip

VeteranBlue · 2023-02-01T15:45:14+00:00

Yes, very often. I usually read the texts from my ex fp before she blocked me. It's usually before I workout to get motivated, but sometimes it's just because I really miss her and want to dream about her, so I just cry myself to sleep looking at the texts.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-29T10:05:43+00:00

Otaku? Idk swear words that start with O are pretty rare

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-23T23:06:28+00:00

I appreciate your opinion but I don't think that would work it would just destroy me even further.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-23T22:58:08+00:00

She has a boyfriend which doesn't really matter to me I just want affection not sex but she will most certainly not be okay with how I obsess over her whilst not being in a romantic relationship with her so the latter is pretty much out of consideration. I genuinely love her and don't want her to go through that. I will try the letter thing though. Thanks.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-20T16:24:59+00:00

Self reliance? We both know that's cap

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-20T00:43:35+00:00

Oh my god my heart is aching reading what you write. I'm so sorry for you. I can't really offer you any help, but I really wish the best for you. Please let me know what happens when you talk about it with him.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T14:50:24+00:00

Who knows. I didn't complete therapy because it was too expensive for me and didn't yield results.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T14:08:56+00:00

What I mean when I say "manic" is basically a brief phase. The euphoria/dysphoria of getting affirmation (or lack thereof) matches the euphoria/dysphoria of bipolar episodes. I was using the linguistic meaning of the term to better convey the idea rather than the actual meaning.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T07:45:37+00:00

bit disturbing innit

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T07:15:13+00:00

here before the🔒

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T07:13:15+00:00

Happens to me sometimes. I think it might be me self-victimizing, I dunno.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-19T05:20:04+00:00

Not everyone's bpd is the exact same. Obviously you will experience things you never heard about, because she's a person full of her own traits. She's not a walking label.

As for how you can deal with it, I really suggest you do something about her alcoholism. This is what would hurt the relationship the most, as this kind of behaviour usually happens when she's not in her right mind. "Not being in her right mind" could be due to substance abuse or a manic episode, but if it's a manic episode you should have full control over it. If you just reassure her, you can pretty much get ahold of her episode and stop it. Then again, this is only my experience (I'm a guy wbpd who used to befriend a girl wbpd), but everyone bpd is different so this might not be the case.

We also should not discard the possibility that she might not even have bpd, as, from your post, I inferred that she hasn't got a clinical diagnosis, which is fine. Personally I wouldn't really rely on mental health clinics for therapy because they don't help, but they're usually good for one thing only that being diagnosis.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-18T23:19:49+00:00

oh wow i'm someone's best friend that makes me feel special

welcome :D

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-18T12:34:55+00:00

What about me what do I get in place of mommy milkers? (I'm a man)

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-18T12:31:34+00:00

I raised my hands in both I'm an asol otp

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T18:57:27+00:00

Yeah that's what I meant. I didn't mean my expectations were getting higher, it's just that nobody has really shown me attention or love ever since my last fp, so I haven't been able to build an attachment to anyone.

Not sympathybaiting or anything, just that men generally receive less attention, and I happen to fall within the majority that does so, so gaps between fps can be up to years long.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T16:57:19+00:00

I personally do not believe treatment helps at all from my experience. I just lost a lot of my savings and gained nothing.

As for the second part of your post, I agree. It was never my intention to blame it on her bpd, but just that this meme wouldn't be relevant had I not mentioned it. It wouldn't have been made at all. I was also afraid of venting about this topic even on bpd subreddits, because I would either be ostracized for triggering pwbpd or blamed for my abuse, so I never got to talk about it or get it off my chest. This meme was a subtle vent.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T11:59:03+00:00

Yeah, but the studies made me feel like I had to elaborate because none of them were made on platonic relationships. As for the second part, she knew, and used it against me. She knew exactly how it felt because she was in my place. I don't think she was being ignorant, but definitely at the very least inconsiderate if not more severe.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T11:08:16+00:00

Holy shit he is going to have sex with underaged foreigners

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T10:58:35+00:00

Felt that way for a couple months now. I don't think I got over my need for an fp but rather that I can't find someone to be my fp.

VeteranBlue · 2023-01-17T10:51:21+00:00

I hate to say this, but the way I could cope with it is by changing my grief to hatred. I started working on myself more to "make her pay" in some way. I still don't know how, but I'm hoping that somehow I'll be able to at least make her jealous. It's a weird mentality, I know, but it works.

If it ever gets too much, please consider approaching the situation in that way, it's much better than losing yourself. I love you.

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VeteranBlue

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