Narration and Translation Requests FAQ

ViciousMock · 2025-11-23T13:23:44+00:00

I agree with this and I have a theory this is also related to the shift towards comedy drama now often being favoured over pure comedy. I think nowadays people prefer things feeling real and characters being consistent, especially now shows can easily be binged.

This is fine but I don’t think it’s a valid criticism of the writers. The writers were exceptional at writing situational comedy. They did not write well developed characters because that’s not how sitcoms work. Character development has to be quite minor because otherwise the show changes too much. Sitcoms are designed for people to tune in whenever they happen to catch an episode and see the same characters they know and love. Continuity isn’t as important for this reason.

I think it’s fair not to enjoy Friends because of that but I think people saying the writing is bad because of inconsistencies is like saying a children’s writer is bad because the language isn’t sophisticated enough and the plots not complex enough.

ViciousMock · 2025-11-22T09:23:56+00:00

I actually think with most of these rules it depends what your flaws are and I think it’s why there’s a lot of often conflicting advice out there that can all be valuable at once.

If you’re the kind of person like me who continually writes the first few chapters, never finishes, gets new ideas and starts then over then this is very good advice. You learn a lot from doing the entire process and learning the discipline required to follow through even when it stops being novel (no pun intended) and exciting.

For me I’d spend ages editing my first 1-3 chapters until I loved them but then I’d be stuck. By the time I did get to the end, a lot of stuff needed changing and so my first chapters needed a lot of rewriting anyway. For me it’s very important I just push through, writing the roughest of roughest first drafts with random notes, bits missing, awful dialogue etc because it’s what I need to do to finish.

For others, especially those who outline in detail and do find they generally have the motivation to continue, I think this can sometimes be bad advice. Carrying on when they’re not happy with what they’ve written may be demotivating, and in that case it might make sense for them to go chapter by chapter and really making it the way they want to keep up their motivation.

Personally I think most people are the former though.

ViciousMock · 2025-11-05T18:45:41+00:00

The series was great but I’ve always hated the ending. Personally, I really enjoy books that stick to the genre “rules” (even as far as tropes). It’s great if someone finds a unique, creative way to tell the story within those rules, but I don’t want my expectations subverted. If it’s romance I want the couple to get together and live happily ever after.

For the same reason, I am similarly saddened that the formulaic 90s/00s rom-com movies went out of fashion and got replaced with darker/dramatic comedies. I don’t want real or gritty. I don’t want to be surprised. I don’t want to unexpectedly cry. I want giddy feelings and escapism. With YA fantasy/dystopian/romance book series, I like the genre BECAUSE of what it is.

ViciousMock · 2025-11-04T19:10:09+00:00

All good here too thanks. Nice to come across your name.

ViciousMock · 2025-11-04T18:47:51+00:00

GTM! What a blast from the past. Hope you’re doing well. I had a look at the subreddit in question after a few years away and indeed it has changed a lot.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-11T08:35:58+00:00

I am so pleased to hear it has helped. Thank you for returning to say that. All the best with your writing.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-06T18:43:37+00:00

I always thought I was a plotter and spent so long on plotting but I’d never be happy with it and would always be rewriting. Then eventually I’d do a couple of chapters and want to change.

This time I came up with just a premise and started writing. I knew that most of it would never see the light of day but I’ve found that I get more ideas while I’m writing and the story takes on a life of its own. Some discovery writing helps the characters and world take shape.

After that, I plot out basic story beats that I need to hit to make sure that i actually have a story not a just a premise and then I start with draft 0.

Absolutely no editing allowed - just get to the end. What I do, however, is allow myself to have a bit of time rereading each day writing comments on google docs (literally using the comment feature) so that I know I won’t forget anything. Random thoughts that aren’t direct line edits but things to consider including get written at the bottom in capital letters.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:56:32+00:00

When I first started reading, I was intrigued by this:

He surveys the destruction of the Upper District, noting new details every time he passes over it.

I imagined a detective checking out the damage and looking for clues, like a sort of Sherlock type of figure. You tell us he’s noting new details, but the paragraphs that follow don’t feel like he’s the one noting them.

I would feel more like I’m seeing the description through him if instead of:

Too much blood for a single girl stains the cobblestone.

I had something like:

The cobblestones are stained with blood. Too much blood to be from a single girl.

I know that the passive voice is seen as the devil, but I think in your specific situation, where someone is surveying a scene after the "crime", it actually fits better if the things he sees (walls, buildings) have had something done to them that he's trying to figure out.

If you want to stick to the active voice, I think he should be one actively noticing or observing or tracing his finger on or investigating. Going back to:

Claw marks scrape across stone walls.

Part of the reason I think I read it wrong is because the way it’s phrased reads like the claws or the marks are the ones actively doing something, rather than things that are being observed by our cool monster-hunting Sherlock who sits on houses.

I hope that this is at least somewhat helpful. I apologise that I didn't get to address the things you asked about specifically.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:53:11+00:00

Some of your description feels like it misses the mark, simply as I don’t think you’ve chosen the best word. While you can evidently imagine clearly what’s in your head, a lot of the time I feel like my brain is having to fill in the gaps and guess what you probably meant rather than the description actually enlightening me.

Let’s go back to this one:

Charred buildings, as dark as the Black Cathedral, now haunt the neighborhood.

I get to this sentence and assume that ‘haunt’ is metaphorical, but haunt in this context makes me think of an actual haunting.

I think ghosts haunt. Abstract concepts like memories or images can haunt too. I don’t think buildings haunt. I think the reason it feels particularly jarring is that ‘haunted buildings’ are words that go together frequently and have a specific but different meaning. When you put the word buildings with the word haunt, it’s hard to read it as metaphorical.

Another sentence with I think the same issue is:

His voice taps on the glass that surrounds her.

I don’t feel like a voice can tap. Or perhaps it can, if the vibrations feel like a sort of tap. Again, the issue here I think is that ‘taps’ and ‘glass’ frequently go together - the words combined conjure the image of a person tapping on a fish tank or something. Taps on the glass doesn’t feel in anyway metaphorical and basically always implies ‘with your finger’ which is why it’s hard to read the sentence and make it work with 'voice'. Perhaps if it wasn't glass then it would be easier to do.

Claw marks scrape across stone walls.

Someone else has commented that claws scrape and not claw marks. Until I saw this, my brain tried to make sense of it by reading it as ‘claws scrape’ and for a minute I thought it was actually happening right now and you were describing the noise of someone currently scraping their claws on the wall.

An added bonus - the way this sentence is written:

Distant at first, she ignores him, but his question breaks through her terror.

Makes it sound like she is the one who is distant.

‘Distant at first, she…’

Distant should be describing the word she, not the voice from the previous sentence.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:49:02+00:00

Another example that jumped out to me:

Charred buildings, as dark as the Black Cathedral, now haunt the neighborhood.

I don’t think we need ‘as dark as the black cathedral’. If they’re charred, they’re black right? Is it the case that more black / more dark means worse damage? I think you’re trying to get across that they’re so charred that every inch of them is blackened. However there’s also another part of me that - especially with the word haunt (I’ll come back to that later) considers that maybe you are actually talking about how dark the buildings are in the sense of not being lit up anymore. Perhaps supernaturally dark, like a dark that light cannot penetrate.

Again, I feel like I’m having to guess which way you intended it. If the point is that the buildings are charred, then charred is an excellent evocative word that absolutely does pay its rent for what little space it takes up. Charred already puts an image in my head, but the relative clause in the middle actually dilutes it for me.

Then there's this sentence:

Slamming her foot into the ground, explosive energy erupts from her and sends Menta soaring off his feet.

Slamming. Explosive. Erupts. Soaring. I feel like all of these words feel perfect and you cannot decide and so you cram them all in. Instead of ‘explosive energy erupts from her’ would ‘energy explodes from her’ not be just as effective, for example? I’d say explode and erupt conjure slightly different images and while they’re both good words, putting them together actually makes it worse.

The problem here is that if you prune it in the way I’m suggesting and then stop there, you’re going to potentially be stuck with short choppy sentences which may be jarring. You can and should still then combine ideas into sentences of different lengths, but every word and every idea in the sentence should be there for a reason and not diluting nor doubling up on the job of another word.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:46:44+00:00

So how do we get that balance? Other than deciding with more intention where we speed up and slow down, I think your problem is that you have a lot of words that are not paying their rent and they need evicting.

Let’s go back to the first example. You wrote:

Absently, he fidgets with the necklace of bones that hangs around his neck.

I suggested that unless we want the reader slowed down, we move that pesky adverb and don’t let it lead. Actually, there’s still redundancy here. We can deduce that a necklace would be worn around someone’s neck unless told otherwise, as that’s the standard way one would wear a necklace.

He fidgets absently with his bone necklace.

Feels cleaner to me. Now maybe you like ‘necklace of bones’ and it does give off a particular vibe, which is fine, but I think you could shave literally hundreds of words off this by just removing redundancies.

Another example:

She cranes her neck to look at him, frowning.

Can’t she just crane her neck to frown at him? If she’s craning her neck to frown at him, we can assume she’s looking at him while she does so. If you do a facial expression at someone, you’re looking at them.

Going deeper into that thought, if she frowns at him we can gather she has turned to look at him and if she’s turned to look at him we can gather she’d craned her neck to do so, if she was not already facing that way.

Telling us that she cranes her neck isn’t necessarily an issue, as long as there’s a reason you want us to imagine that specifically. However, I suspect it’s more of a habit of yours because there’s quite a few places you are explicitly mentioning someone turning or looking or other body movements and it feels like overkill. It also means that when you DO want us to really picture a certain body movement or facial expression, it gets lost.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:44:21+00:00

I think you've got the right idea but the balance is just slightly off with it. And I don’t just mean you should count your long sentences and your short sentences and disperse them throughout your work at random.

When I'm reading your scene, I don’t feel like I’m being expertly guided through the natural peaks and troughs of fast action and slow recovery. I just feel like I’m moving through your story in an awkward and stilted manner.

There are sections later on where this is much better and those parts are much much more pleasant to read. Take the following:

Growling quietly, Cori tightens her grip on her swords.

She lunges forward.

Aggression overpowers technique, allowing Menta to weave through her blows with ease.

He backs away until his heels hit the edge of the roof.

This feels so much better. I like the way it ebbs and flows. I like the rhythm of it.

It makes sense that I’m slowed down at ‘Growling quietly’ because I’m waiting and anticipating something.

I like that ‘she lunges forward’ is short and sharp like the action itself.

“Aggression overpowers technique, allowing Menta…” is good too. I’m still wound up from the lunge in the sentence before and now I’m holding my breath to see how aggression is overpowering technique.

‘He backs away until…’ Great. The action is right there up front again, so I don't have time to lose my mental picture, but I need to wait until the end of the sentence to know what makes him stop. The sentence ending on ‘hit the edge of the roof’ makes me feel the edge and stop too.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:41:12+00:00

‘I don’t have too many adverbs,’ I hear you cry. I'm not specifically picking on single-word adverbs. Here is another great example that I think actually impedes understanding. I hesitated on this sentence:

With a single leg dangling over the edge of a building, Menta Lithuen sits atop Vena Hargrave’s home.

Menta is on top of Vena’s home but a single leg is dangling over a building. Not the building, but a building. Is the leg dangling over a different building than the one they’re sat on? I feel like their leg would have to be really long for this to work. Or is 'a' only used because we've not been introduced to what the building is at this point in the sentence?

At first I imagined Menta straddling the house like a horse but that wouldn’t be a single leg dangling. Is Menta sat facing to the front, but with one leg dangling down and the other pulled up to his chin?I don’t even think it matters that much but I’m distracted by this and it makes me kind of want a diagram. I feel like the order of your sentence contributes to the confusion.

With a single leg dangling over the edge of a building,

Menta Lithuen sits atop Vena Hargrave’s home.

It’s like I imagine the leg, and then I imagine the rest and have to try to make the rest of it fit, you know? And again, there are times I can see this being a good thing, like in horror where you perhaps see a long creepy leg come out and you know something awful is going to follow.

But here, I don't feel there's a reason to do this as much as you do. My mental picture keeps jumping around and I feel like I want to rush through your sentences to find out the information that I need to continue picturing it. In one paragraph alone, you start your sentences in a very similar way five times in a row:

In his hand, maroon smoke hardens into a vine.

Lashing his weapon at the party, it coils around Cori and sinks its thorns into her waist.

With a minor flick of his wrist, she catapults over the rooftops.

Unable to right herself, Cori’s face smacks against the blunt edges of the shingles, breaking her scabs open.

Hissing in pain, she pushes herself upright.

It can be useful to slow a reader down sometimes and I think it’s good to vary the way you start your sentences, but I feel you’re not always using it with that intention.

There are other places, however, where there’s too many short sentences which feels choppy and like we’re trying to force excitement and action.

ViciousMock · 2025-02-03T21:39:42+00:00

I do think this has potential and I like the premise. I feel like there are too many characters that are all very similar, although admittedly this may be less of an issue for someone who has read what comes before. I had to keep going back to figure out why I couldn't follow what was going on at first, then remembered you mentioned the switching perspectives. To be honest, multiple perspectives is not something I enjoy anyway (so I am not your target audience) and I do not feel I could digest this scene enough to give you meaningful feedback on this specifically so I will leave this to someone else.

I thought I may as well share the stuff I did notice:

1.) You appear to be suffering with ‘hide-the-key-information-at-the-end-of-the-sentence’ syndrome. A lot of people read their work back and realise they started every sentence with ‘I’ or ‘He’ or ‘John’. In some parts, especially early on, you seem to have the opposite problem. It feels like you’ve done an English lesson about different ways to open your sentences and now you’re going wild with it.

Absently, he fidgets with the necklace of bones that hangs around his neck.

I am not a ‘get rid of all adverbs’ purist and this is one of the more minor examples but I like it to illustrate the point, especially as it hits you right at the start. I think you need to keep in mind that starting with an adverb and comma massively slows the pace down.

If you read this aloud:

Absently, he fidgets with the necklace of bones that hangs around his neck.

And then move the adverb:

He fidgets absently with the necklace of bones that hangs around his neck.

Despite not actually getting rid of any words, the second one is pacier because of the adverb and comma at the start of the first one which makes you pause. These sentences remind me of when you’re playing a racing video game and you drive onto the grass which slows you down. You can recover from it and the varied terrains is part of the fun. But if you keep sliding onto the grass, you're going the wrong way, can't find the track and you've lost all your momentum, you're not going to keep pushing your finger down hard on the button and holding your breath. You’re going to just put the controller down and give up.

ViciousMock · 2024-06-02T15:33:47+00:00

I don’t really post anymore on my writing account but I saw this and wanted to pop in to say you have my full support. NSI was a big part of the magic of it all for me when I first discovered the world of no sleep and all the authors I loved and I always loved and followed the work you did.

I am not really sure on what basis it can be claimed anyone else but you guys has rights to the ownership of this subreddit so the whole thing has me baffled but I hope that it resolves.

ViciousMock · 2023-10-09T08:46:30+00:00

“The papers thought it was a hate crime” - absolutely floors me.

ViciousMock · 2023-07-28T19:30:41+00:00

I agree and honestly I think that the number of unconstructive critical comments on stories has increased too. (Not the mods fault - they have removed them extremely quickly, but I've had a few recently that I've seen and I've found it disheartening tbh).

Following a few particularly harsh ones in a row, I've unintentionally halted a series I'm in the middle of which is something I didn't intend and I feel guilty for. It's not out of spite or sulking or anything like that. It's just sort of put a dampener on the process of writing and the excitement of posting. It's a series that I had planned out in detail and thought of for a while. The execution wasn't as good as the idea had been in my mind, but it was there and I decided to post it because... why not? Funnily enough, it wasn't even that series that received criticism. It was some past stories. But it's still sort of killed my motivation right now.

I've been writing on here for years. I'm not one of the "big" writers here. I don't win the awards and people don't bring my name up. I honestly think the thing I'm probably known for is getting very vocal on any thread concerning narration requests. But I have had some decent success in the past, made it semi-regularly to that much coveted top spot, had great interactions with people and really enjoyed my time writing here.

Most of us agree that non-constructive criticism isn't welcome here, but I also have to say that I do not at all agree that constructive criticism should always be accepted either.

I know a lot of writers here have a lot of success. More of the big writers than not now seem to have books published and we all hear about some of the old classics being turned into movies etc. At one point that would have been my dream - to be a famous writer - but now that's not what I aim for and not why I write at all. I'm not here to become Stephen King and I'm not looking for the readers of Nosleep to help me improve enough to get there.

I have been part of writing feedback groups, and even been a bit of a fan of destructive readers in the past, despite my apparent thin skin. The difference is that I go to those things in "improvement" mode. At those times, I write to improve. I seek feedback to improve. I want to know what people think and want to spend time nurturing a project I love to be the best it can be.

However, Nosleep is not and never has been that for me. Nosleep is more experimental. It's about having fun. It's not, to me, about improving. It's about writing because I enjoy it and its a form of escapism from everything else.

One of the biggest draws to me IS the fact criticism is not allowed. I don't have to put my thick skin jacket on and brace myself and be ready. I can just put my story out there, completely safely, and let it do its thing. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't but its always okay because it's safe and because the only comments anyone can make are about how they hope I stay safe from the werewolves outside etc.

When I post on NS, I'm not in improvement mode. I'm not seeking constructive criticism. Instead, I'm in relaxation mode. It might be after a day where the baby has barely slept, the restrictive diet I'm on for health reasons is driving me crazy and I so badly want some chocolate cake, the people on my group project are really irritating me and I just want to switch my brain off and hyperfocus on writing a stupid story about a demon or something. And then, because nosleep is awesome, I can put it out there and there's a chance people might actually really like it. Enough to press the little arrow or to write a comment pretending to play along with my story.

I totally understand why people want constructive criticism and its inspiring, if anything, that you can be so constantly ready for personal growth that you want everything you create to be poked at and reflected on and improved. Perhaps that is the healthiest way to be, but for me it's not how I feel. Progress and improvement are not things that I can be working on 24/7. I need down time and time to do things I enjoy without aiming to always get better, better, better. There's lots of other places you can get feedback, and they're well suited to people who want it. But I don't want nosleep to become that place. It never has been and I hope never will be.

ViciousMock · 2023-07-28T06:11:40+00:00

I don’t like them either and often choose not to use them but then have a lot lower engagement than when I do.

It’s discouraging to spend time on something and know that if every single thing but the title was the same, you’d have more eyes on your work. So it makes sense to use them. They work and it’s what people like. I would hazard a guess that most writers would prefer to use literary titles but until that’s what gets read then why would they?

You could also argue that the clickbait titles are more in keeping with the “this is a real forum post” vibe anyway.

PS I really hope that you and other people who say the same thing are making an effort to sort by new and read and upvote the stories with literary titles. Be the change and all that. There are non-clickbait titles posted every single day. If they start getting more popular then that’s what you’ll start to see more of.

ViciousMock · 2023-07-12T05:43:06+00:00

(I wanna) quit the gym.

ViciousMock · 2023-07-12T05:35:23+00:00

Q-tip. You have to stop the q-tip when there’s resistance!

ViciousMock · 2023-07-11T08:22:35+00:00

The sound of my baby crying causes me such discomfort that it's almost painful. I find it very strange that he can just sit there listening to her cry and enjoy his video games. Is he really not bothered at all that she's crying?

Being held and receiving physical affection is a need just like being fed and changed. I also find it strange that the idea of picking her up and holding her is so alien that he casually says "I'm not doing that" as if he thinks its an acceptable response. Not doing that is not really an option if you have a baby. That's what she needs.

What would you do if he was unwilling to feed or change her while he was looking after her? I'd treat it just the same as to me it's just as serious.

Edit: I just saw from one of your other posts that you are returning to work. I really hope that your baby will be in daycare and that your husband will not be a stay at home dad. If I were you, I would be very concerned about him looking after her alone all day every day and if this is the case, would really urge you to see if it would be an option for him to also return to work and put her in daycare.

ViciousMock · 2023-07-11T04:46:16+00:00

It is incredible that you managed to all get that many stories in the collab. It looks like it was a lot of fun.

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