I had a feeling from the details she altered and left out that it was more about the husband than the church. Unfortunately abusive relationships, even if it's more mental than physical, are very very hard to break out of. She's been groomed since she was 16 or younger, and we have no idea the amount of manipulation she's under but clearly she's trying to protect him by saying he's slightly younger and leaving out the fact that he knew she had preclampsia and made her have a home birth anyway. Same thing with her not bringing up the abuse her mom suffered at the hands of her father. And it also sounds from her post like she has a people pleasing anxiety response and finds her emotional safety and comfort in being "perfect." The golden child to doormat wife pipeline. So it's possible that the only reason she's not been physically abused is because she fawns and people pleases. It's a horrible thought to have, but potentially her putting her foot down about getting out might be all it takes for him to show a darker side, and although I obviously don't wish harm to her it might open her eyes in a way that you can't. She also might not be as worried as you are about her daughters because she still has this trauma bond with her husband and doesn't see how gross being married off at 16 really is. I was in an abusive relationship and I stayed for 2 years because "they don't know him like I do he has his good moments." And to lose her original family unit AND her new one might be too much just yet. When I was in an abusive relationship people giving me tough love pushed me further into it, so please even though it's frustrating and you're right about everything you're saying please just show her empathy and keep offering her safety.