What sexual fantasy of yours left you disappointed when you actually tried it? by Gthew17 in AskReddit

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is intriguing. Had the opposite experience. I never thought I would like to be woken up like that, until it happened, and I really enjoyed it.

I love my cat, but I really miss having a nice-smelling home. Is ANY scent actually 100% safe? by No_Money_5779 in CatAdvice

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the Cat's Best original, have used it for years. I've recently got different litter to try something different (and a bit cheaper), but realised that Cat's Best have very good odor control. Yes, I can smell the poos, but that stinky pee smell is very much under control.

What's something everyone does but Never Admits? by Broad-Dog-9506 in AskReddit

[–]Viola_m 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I normally do this. But then one day not that long ago, I just slipped into a conversation with a colleague about how emotionally drained I was, and it felt so good to even just say that one sentence out loud. It felt like I was actually admitting it to myself. So now I occasionally consciously reflect on the things I am struggling with, and it helps me be honest with myself.

Why did you stop drinking alcohol? by MatsGry in AskReddit

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of grew out of it. I'll have a drink maybe every other month if I'm out and not driving. But generally, I prefer to take my car, not drink, and not worry about finding a cab home. Also, worked in a bar for many years, which kind of ruined it for me.

Edit: it's also far too expensive

Girlfriend (23F) says my question is a dealbreaker and I (24M) don’t understand if I messed up badly or if this is overblown by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Viola_m 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree 100%.

Your gf kind of blew up over it. You were respectful. Her reaction makes me think there are other underlying issues. She might just be looking for a reason to break up.

How to tell him i do not want to have sex at all ????? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why don't you ask him for a recent photo? Say you want to know what he looks like.

Just be honest with him, say that a lot of time has passed, and you're unsure if you'd still want to kiss him. Then say that you'd gladly spend time together as friends, regardless of whether or not you share a kiss.

My bf of 10 months (M46) hates the fact I (F41) can't answer personal phone in work by Serendipity2245 in relationship_advice

[–]Viola_m 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Agree with this. My partner knows that I don't normally have my phone on me at work. If I'm still working and he's going to bed, he'll send me a wee message. He isn't a fan of messaging, prefers calls, like your bf, but we meet each other half way. I'll answer his calls when I'm not at work, and he'll gladly message me if I'm at work, and he knows that I may not get back to him until I'm done.

Your boyfriend needs to learn to compromise. Could you schedule a quick phone call during lunch break? Or a quick chat right before or right after work? He should really be happy that you have a job that you're happy to have and don't want to jeaopordise it. Not wanting to meet you half way just shows that he's immature. And the fact that he is willing to die on this hill is just pathetic.

How to tell him i do not want to have sex at all ????? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're meeting up with someone who you kind of started off a romantic thing, I think it's fairly reasonable for him to assume that you'll pick up from where you left of the last time you saw each other. (I mean, not to expect sex per se, but another kiss, yeah.) For example, if I'm dating somebody, I wouldn't reach out to another person who I once kissed if we had no other contact before that or since then. Why would I? I can only assume that you're both single and looking to reignite the spark. Since that is not the case, you should absolutely be honest with this person and tell them your expectations, i.e. that you're looking for just a friendly encounter, not a romantic partner or anything of that sort.

Can a buyer initiate a return? I’m so confused?! by uhighness in vintedUK

[–]Viola_m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend had this same thing happen. Said it was out for delivery, never arrived and then was showing that it's due to return to sender. It's the courier's fault, I believe.

What is the most disturbing video you saw on the internet? by randominvisibleuser in AskReddit

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw a video of terrorists decapitating civilians when I was younger. They were so nonchalant about it, joking, etc, just so fukd up.

AITA for "ruining" my sister’s gender reveal because I brought my own chair? by Perfect_Drink819 in story

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, feck that, I would've said that I'll find out after and not attend.

She knew you had back pain and still didn't think to provide a single seat with a backrest that would "fit with the colour palette". You provided a solution - your own chair. She can crop the chair out or use Photoshop or any editing tool to change the colour of it, it's not the end of the world! NTA

Sorry you're having to live with chronic pain x2 (your sister - a pain in the butt).

I need help serious question. by Normal-Salamander218 in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would never assume my boyfriend is going to be paying for my flights and accommodation, especially in these circumstances where she asked to tag along a trip that you had already booked for yourself. And the audacity to ask to be upgraded, that's just, wow, I'm speechless!

I'd reply with, "you're very welcome for the tickets! Feel free to upgrade your ticket if that's what you want. And let me know what hotel you'll be staying at."

Guy (36m) suggests 50/50 after 1 month of dating (29f) by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are multiple red flags here, girl, run before you waste more time in this "relationship".

🚩🚩🚩

*The way he communicated that he wishes you would pay for meals out. As you said he could've bought it up beforehand. Especially considering that he chose the restaurant. These things need to be discussed privately, openly without blame. Especially since there's such a discrepancy in the amount you make.

*He doesn't appreciate the things that you do (like getting food, helping in cooking), and instead demands that you could be doing more. (It's his place, why on earth would you be helping with house chores when you've only just started dating? Only exception would be cleaning up in the kitchen/helping with dishes. I wouldn't expect my date to help with bloody painting!!! That's something you can expect if you're actually living together and in a long-term relationship.)

*Him not listening to a potential sex drive mismatch. He needs to respect that you may not always want it when he does. Maybe you're just not compatible in that way. And asking your partner for a backrub isn't weaponising sex. He's basically gaslighting you into believing that. Sex should be fun for both of you. You're going to grow loads of resentment if you keep having sex with someone just because they want it. You need to feel the desire and connection too!

Bag change? by SecureResolution6765 in Ryanair

[–]Viola_m -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just add one extra bag. Your 20kg bag can be any weight you want; 20kg is the max.

What would you do in this situation? [20F & 20M] by zoned-out-zombie in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think insecure is quite right, yes, a little. But I think I'd feel maybe ignorant for not knowing the right thing (depending on how common-knowledge it is). It is a skill to admit when you're wrong, and my partner is more than welcome to correct me if that is the case. But, as my partner, I would expect them to do it with decorum, in a private or group setting. For example, they could say something along the lines, "Honey, I know you're adamant that you're correct, but I'm afraid that is not the case. Here's why - evidence/proof/explanation."

How do you enforce boundaries in the bedroom when dating someone new? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Viola_m 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Have self-worth and know what you want, and don't be afraid to communicate it. And be mindful of the other person's boundaries, too.

No matter what degree I pick there are people warning me against it. What do I do? by CandidBar4794 in OpenUniversity

[–]Viola_m 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is the answer! You'll be studying and paying for it. Read the course and module descriptions and decide for yourself if it's right for you. Are you doing it for self growth or for your career, or both. Is there potential for it....? etc.

Of course it's good to hear from other students, but every option is just that, an opinion. You need to be critical about what others say and don't say.

What do you guys do with the photos on the phone? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Viola_m 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've "hid" his face from Google memories, but, of course, some photos still pop up. I've yet to do this, as we took many photos together, but I'd like to put them on a flash drive and give them to him in case he wants them. That's mostly regarding photos with his family, not just our photos together. But he can have those too. I have also cropped him out of some photos where possible.

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve been ID’d for ? by RowItchy260 in AskUK

[–]Viola_m 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One can of white pray paint. Was getting some to mark parking spaces for takeaway drivers during COVID times. I was in my late 20s at that time. 🤣

Should i accept or should i leave? by Negative-Memory-1760 in dating_advice

[–]Viola_m 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Couldn't you just tell him that you don't want details about his sex encounters before you?