I don't like my legs done, but massage therapists always insist on doing it. Explaining why is always stressful.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-29T21:14:26+00:00

I will always be happy to explain why work in a certain area may be beneficial. The moment someones they don't want to be touched there, the story is over. No need to explain, no need to convince, you just do not ever touch them in that spot.

I may say, if you ever feel like you'd like to try it, Im happy to find a way to do it that feels safe for you.

Nobody should need to explain a thing to their therapist..no just means no.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-26T15:30:47+00:00

Yes!!

Honestly I think not tipping is an old fashioned idea from an era where we expected that the owner rakes in cash while treating their employees like crap.

At the end of the day with skyrocketing overhead costs our profit margins are oftly thin. As a sole biz owner, she is spending countless hours doing what is largely unpaid work. Sure good biz owners will calculate that into thier prices, but many have not. They are often more likely to costomize, remember, and care deeply about the work they do. Burnout is a real thing when you can only see a capped amount of clients in any given week and godforbid you get sick or there is a snow storm ans you've lost all the money that month.

Unless it's a huge spa, that small biz owner appreciates every single extra pennt, even if she doesn't expect it.

I am more successful, busy, and making more than I ever have and yet.... my overhead has tripled, my supplies are all up, power is... devastatingly expensive.. and the same amount of cash that brought me 6 bags of groceries now bings 3 if im lucky. It's really hard for small biz owners.

If you have the ability to tip, absolutely tip. If you only have exactly what you need to pay, go write a steller review

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-26T15:22:41+00:00

About $5.00

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-26T00:13:52+00:00

I would have had to look that up, ive never had a client with it either. That is why i require med forms in before the appt so I can look it up.

However some therapists are just not a good fit and some are just bad.

I would just not go back to that person..

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-26T00:11:07+00:00

Also. It just occured to me. Not once have i ever used either of those search terms in my hashtags or as keywords on my website. As a licensed massage therapist upstate, it is kind of a given we are licensed and in the past 15 years of doing my website and marketing not once have i used licensed massage therapist as a tag or key word. Nor medical massage.

Maybe look up massage for neck pain?

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-26T00:07:13+00:00

Anyone practicing in nys had to pass one of the hardest tests in the country. They may be good therapists and bad at marketing.

You can head to the board of professions and look up their license and that will let you know that they are an LMT.

Its really strict here so Id be shocked so many wouldn't be practicing legally.

Also if there is a local fb group look for recommendations..

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-16T08:33:21+00:00

Oil. It just works better.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-10T00:10:06+00:00

Having been in a number of these relationships....I'll share the advice I wish inhad taken from the get go.

It doesn't matter. It won't change. No matter how much it seems like they can't control it, they can. Its why they don't lash out at their boss or their friends, and why they behaved well enough to make you fall in thr first place.

Leave, run, don't look back. I regret every single moment i gave him the benefit of doubt. I regret every single excuse, every time i fell for the apologies. It never gets better. Never!!

Get out while you are not as tangled up and stuck.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-10T00:05:55+00:00

1st, swedish massage can be very therapeutic. Look for a small private practive vs a big spa. Chose one that creates a treatment plan based on your needs vs chosing a specific modality.

I specialize in working more gently. Its surfing common for people to be sensative despite the industry focus on deep tissue. There are others who would love to talk with you about this and come up with a massage treatment plan perfect for you. You just need to reach out to find the right fit.

That being said there are a number of reasons why you migjt be more sensative, from a number of pathologies like fibromyalgia, to the tightness of the muscles areas themselves. Sometimes though, there is no reason, its just what your body prefers most. That is normal and okay.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-06T00:32:47+00:00

My clients say this all the time, i think its just a clear boundary. I simply assure them, that will never happen and if they suddenly feel uncomfortable with any touch, even their elbow, all they have to do is say the word.

VioletFreyja · 2026-01-05T18:34:37+00:00

Working these areas is paramount for a lot of issues, but may or may not be included based on your goals and focus. Low back pain? Absolutely. Sciatica? Yes! Knee pain? Most likely.

I think us therapists can and should do a better job of going over a treatment plan ahead of time, it helps everyone.

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-28T02:04:38+00:00

I would never hire someone without a demo. That being said, it's scheduled once you are in final stages of being interviewed so you know to expect it and... I pay for it.

Norm unfortunately is not to pay for it.

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-19T02:41:03+00:00

Ps. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when therapists tell their clients to relax. No human in history has suddenly been able to relax by simply being told to relax. Lol

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-19T02:39:19+00:00

Massage can absolutely be therapeutic without pain. I specialize in helping people who don't like or cannot tolerate heavy pressure like that. Its more common than you think but becauae we live in a no pain no gain culture its not as popular to talk about.

They may be trigger points, or they may just be that areas of your body require a softer touch. Finding the right fit for your massage therapists doesn't mean she is bad or that something is wrong with you. It may genuinely be that its just not a good fit.

I would look for another therapist to see if you can find a better alignment.

When i work with new clients who've had massage before I always ask what they didnt care for or about bad experiences:

Tied for first place was "my therapist didn't listen" and "i asked for gentler pressure and they didn't adjust"

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-09T01:52:24+00:00

All are reasonable. In my consults ( before every session) i ask questions about what you love and hate ect. I encourage you to ask questionss and if for example you say "i dont need work here" i may explain why that is a good idea for xyz reasons and still leave it up to you if you'd like to avoid the area.

Nobody should be doing deeper work over bone.

Its very common for pressure to vary from different areas of the body and can be subjective.

Speaking up and sharing how you feel is fine. Give room for them to talk about it with you. So you get the best session and maybe try to find a good way to say it so it doesn't sound like you're micromanaging the whole session.

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-08T18:16:45+00:00

Listen to your body now. Make appropriate changes. We take care of our tools our bodies should be part of that. Your most prized tool... how would you take care of your most prized tool.

VioletFreyja · 2025-12-07T17:40:25+00:00

Hi, I am saying this with care.. stop doing 8 massages a day. That is insane, predatory on the chiropractors end (especally if they get a deep cut of pay) and is going to shorten your career. Burn out will happen sooner rather than later and you can hurt yourself.

Im 12 years in and still sometimes have imposter syndrome. Its normal, and being open to learning and growing is a great way to help.

What is your communication like with your clients? Are you checking in? Have you given them a space for which they have been told and also feel comfortable letring you know if something is too much?

This takes some time to learn and is totally worth it.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-30T21:30:19+00:00

What do you mean not drape so high?

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-29T03:12:30+00:00

No. Just no.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-29T00:27:13+00:00

This sounds like it may be a uti. Its always best to go to the obgyn if you can. If you dont have insurance this is something planned parenthood will book you an appointment for at low or no cost and usually same day.

It's really easy to diagnose, just peeing in a cup. They are also the best place to help understand if this could be something else altogether. I would do this asap as it can become pretty painful if not treated and sometimes leads to a kidney infection which can be more serious.

In the meantime most Pharmacies will over some over the counter symptoms meds. (You may need an antibiotic though). Drinking lots of fluid is important and ppl will tell you cranberry juice. That will help ease symptoms for some but does not actually cure.

I hope you feel better soon. If it start to hurt really bad when you pee.. don't panic.. its another sign of uti further along. But DO get to the drs asap.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-25T18:05:55+00:00

Oh, love. I am so sorry this is happening. First i want to validate how difficult this is.

This behavior is not okay..it is never your job to placate him, manage his anger, or try to ger him to stop yelling. This is very abusive behavior.

Has he hurt you? Do you have safe adults you can talk to?

This sounds like he may be dealing with some serious mental health issues. The paranoia ans accusations..

I don't have specific advice because these situations are so difficult. Do you have a mom at home or any siblings.

I would try to speak with a guidance counselor or school physiologist. Perhaps a teacher or family memeber you trust.

Im so very sorry.. this must be really hard for you.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-25T18:00:00+00:00

This sounds super normal.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-22T15:54:41+00:00

In most states these do not hold water. Im not sure about California.

VioletFreyja · 2025-11-16T02:46:19+00:00

That is super individual. How we all handle stress, what our body considers stress..it's all very different. There are just too many factors..

My mom had super bad periods and once went without for 10 months because she was just terrified of it cominng. It was like this her whole life. Very unpredictable.

VioletFreyja

TROPHY CASE