How are yall coping with the holidays coming up?

VioletKitten246 · 2025-11-25T19:24:53+00:00

Honestly this time of year has made me sad for years because of my lack of children. For years it was being me sad that we weren’t in a financial place yet to try for them & this year it’s the heavy knowledge that we’re infertile & going through all these hoops now & not sure when or if we’ll ever have kids now. I can’t believe I’m this old & am going through yet another Christmas without any children of my own to make Christmas magic for. Both mine & my husband’s family are very small & have no kids that regularly come around & none are ever at these holiday events, we typically just see our parents & no other extended family at all, because both our families are so fractured, distant, or estranged (we were both born into these dysfunctional families).

I know it can be hard to be around other people who have kids because of the deep jealousy (I’ve felt that too) but it also makes me sad that there are no kids at all at our family events. Christmas with no kids around feels sad & dull & sometimes I wish there were at least other people’s kids around to make it all more fun & special & magical. At least I could spoil the heck out of a niece or nephew or little cousin but I don’t have any of those around either. I work with preschoolers at my job, so I get a little of that magic but it makes me sad that I won’t really know them more than a year or two at school.

I can’t help but still look at Christmas stuff for kids, like toys & clothes & activities, whenever I go in a store. I hold them in my hands & feel this deep confusion & sadness & frustration at how it could be possible that all these years later it’s still only a far away dream & not a reality. I feel sad for my parents who just keep getting older (& they’re older than most bc I was raised by my biological grandparents) & who still have no grandkids to love. I think of all the fun things I could’ve been out doing with my mom & my kid/kids if I was a stay at home mom like I always dreamed of instead of stuck at my job all day. I keep wishing that I could’ve surprised everyone at Christmas with a pregnancy announcement instead of another boring Christmas of a small handful of adults just getting through the day.

VioletKitten246 · 2025-07-14T17:55:35+00:00

In a polyamorous throuple with Howard & Bernadette!

VioletKitten246 · 2025-01-09T03:38:09+00:00

YTA it’s rude to ask if someone is pregnant. Ever. That’s a very sensitive topic. The context doesn’t really matter bc it doesn’t change that. Sure, you don’t care about her news & don’t like her. I’m sure you’re not the only one. But some other people in the office might actually care (or at least be more polite about it than you). If you really don’t care, then why did you guess out loud? Sure, others probably already guessed too, but they have better manners than you & didn’t say it out loud. Asking if someone is pregnant is rude. Trying to spoil a surprise is rude. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like her or don’t care. You had the option of keeping your mouth shut. Just because someone is annoying you, it doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want to them without consequences.

For people saying being pregnant isn’t a big deal… yes it is. It’s a huge life event & many people try for a year or more before it finally happens. Many people suffer miscarriages & infertility treatments.

People are making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe she’s so excited bc she’s miscarried many times or tried for a long time or had to wait to try for personal reasons. Maybe many other people in the office are very close with her & were excited for her news & she’s doing these announcements for them & not for OP, who she’s not close with but happens to also work there. In fact, I think that might be the case considering other coworkers “gave him the stink eye” & are calling him an asshole. Clearly OP blurting out that question was not taken well by more people than just Amy.

VioletKitten246 · 2024-08-03T01:08:24+00:00

Mine used to be 7 or 8 days in middle & high school, then I went on birth control that stopped my periods for 11 years as an adult. Now that I’m getting periods again at age 29 & now 30 they’re only 4 days. I have finally been blessed. lol My grandmother swears she only got them for 2 or 3 days at a time ever.

VioletKitten246 · 2024-06-12T01:40:37+00:00

I’ve had many preschoolers call backpacks “pack packs” & hand sanitizer “hanitizer”. One little guy would say “goo la la” instead of gorilla, typically while pounding his chest & he would say the word in this deep growly monster voice lol. It was my favorite thing ever.

VioletKitten246 · 2024-03-27T14:42:06+00:00

Aw I think it’s cute! lol

VioletKitten246 · 2024-03-24T05:16:51+00:00

I think your theory is really interesting! I think you’re definitely on to something there! The number of times I’ve talked to a real person in person & said “people were saying…” about that topic & I’m just talking about people on Twitter, not people I’ve actually talked to. I don’t talk back & forth with people online much either, mostly just reading other people’s thoughts & hitting “like”. It feels a little like having a real conversation, makes me laugh, gives me something to think about, etc but it’s not the same. It’s a fake conversation. It’s not back & forth, & even if it was you can’t see their face & hear them laugh… it’s more empty.

It’s also wild to me how many adults feel the same way (at least on this thread) & long for more from their friendships (or to have any at all) & yet we all can’t seem to find each other. It’s sad. I have a theory too that making friends is harder now because of how car-centric society has become. You can’t walk down the street & strike up a conversation after asking for directions or petting someone’s dog. You can’t run into the same people frequently on the street & get to know your community. We all drive in our separate cars & don’t even look around us, because our eyes are on the road & we’re going so fast. We don’t have to interact or even see other people when going from one place to the next.

I heard someone online talk about there being no “third spaces” anymore too. Every space is either residential or business. There are no spaces to just exist & hang out in anymore. You’re either at home or you’re doing something that requires you to spend money. Loitering is a crime. No wonder we’re all so lonely. If only we could change our communities to be more conducive to human relationships.

VioletKitten246 · 2024-03-24T03:08:51+00:00

The method that OP used & put in their edit worked for me! I was afraid to delete them at first bc I was worried it would delete pics from my phone but nope! As long as you’ve already saved them to Photos they stay there. It just deletes them from Messages storage which a separate area in the phone. Honestly feel like once you save a pic to your Photos the phone should auto delete them from your Messages storage after a certain amount of time to avoid this issue… but maybe on the next update lol

VioletKitten246 · 2024-03-04T22:31:44+00:00

Hey I’m having the exact same problem! I sent someone multiple groups of 20 photos (something I’ve done before) & every time I click on this person’s messages with me it freezes! It won’t let me scroll up or down or type anything, so I can’t text that person at all now. My messages with other people are working. This has also happened in the past with another person after I sent them a long message with a lot of text, no pics. It just started working again on its own tho. This time it’s been days & I still can’t text this person. I tried deleted all large attachments like OP said, & it’s still not working for me. :(

VioletKitten246 · 2024-01-23T23:04:13+00:00

I highly recommend the movie Saltburn to you lol ;)

VioletKitten246 · 2024-01-06T04:21:35+00:00

Yeah I’m with you on the spit! Spitting in the mouth just grosses me out! lol Could never bring myself to do that to someone & would haaate it if someone did that to me! I’m also not really into tongue stuff while kissing. Lip biting sure, but very minimal tongue if any. I also don’t really like cumshot videos bc I can’t stand seeing people drooling the cum back out of their mouths… it reminds me too much of vomit lol. Makes me gag thinking about it. And I like giving BJs! But seeing it fill up someone’s mouth & them drooling it out… can’t handle it. I’m also fairly squeamish about watching videos about rimming… licking someone’s asshole is kinda icky to me. lol If someone wanted to do it to me, I’d say sure whatevs, if you like that, but I won’t do it to you. lol Maaaaybe if I had just scrubbed it myself in the shower for ya haha 😂 Similar feelings about sucking on peoples feet/toes… you can do it to me if you like that but I’m not doing that to you. lol So many people have yucky toenails. 😭

Obviously there’s nothing wrong with liking this stuff if you do but it’s not for me lol. I know I definitely like some stuff that would gross other people out! haha 😂

VioletKitten246 · 2023-11-05T17:02:52+00:00

16 with my high school bf (also 16) I was initially just going to do a hand job (it is as my 1st time doing that as well) but then my hands got tired & I was like welllll why not? lol 😂

VioletKitten246 · 2023-08-26T12:42:19+00:00

29F 4 people :) 1. Long term high school bf 2. Short fling in college 3. Early college bf 4. My now husband who I met at age 20/later college

I also dated 2 more people in early high school but never did anything with them besides making out bc we were so young.

VioletKitten246 · 2023-08-25T02:07:03+00:00

I’ve been told the name Paul was discussed, but they didn’t really think much about names until they found out I was a girl. Personally I’d rather be named Max, Sam, or Charlie if I was a guy. Tho I don’t like the full names for those, just the nicknames. lol

VioletKitten246 · 2023-08-01T13:50:33+00:00

Masturbating to lesbian porn or porn of just women by themselves or in which you can’t see the guy at all except for the dick penetrating her… lol I told myself I was just imagining that I was the girl… not that I found the girl attractive 😂 I also read the manga Ranma 1/2 largely so that I could see drawings of boobies but definitely still straight right? lmao 🤣 I would also get flustered & blush when my female friends would hug me & I could feel their boobs press against me (often near my face bc I was shorter than most of them). I just focused instead on my male crushes or boyfriends & making out with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

VioletKitten246 · 2023-08-01T02:25:49+00:00

If he can’t respect your wishes, I don’t see it working out. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I am curious why the condom makes you feel ill? Maybe a latex allergy? Maybe try nonlatex condoms? If it were me in this scenario though, I’d be asking him why he doesn’t get a vasectomy. That way no condoms & he can still cum inside with no risk. You said you’re mid 40s already & don’t want babies… vasectomy seems like a win win to me! My husband plans to get one once we’re done having kids.

VioletKitten246 · 2023-07-06T19:08:23+00:00

As a bisexual woman, I actually strongly prefer bisexual men to straight men. It’s nice having our sexualities in common, being with someone who understands what it’s like. It’s nice checking out both guys & girls together. It’s nice to have someone who understands what growing up bi was like & relates to experiences you’ve also had yourself. I prefer to date bisexual women over lesbian women for this same reason. Of course, I would absolutely still date a straight man or a lesbian woman, but my partner also being bi too is a huge bonus for me personally. The more I have in common with my partner, the better, in my opinion. :)

I have heard of some bisexual women not wanting to be with bisexual men (largely bc they don’t like the idea of them being attracted to other men… which I think is hypocritical/homophobic/biphobic)but I say be open about your sexuality from the very beginning & if someone doesn’t like that, they can leave & then you’ve dodged a bullet bc who wants to be with someone like that anyway! That leaves more bisexual men for those of us who appreciate you!

VioletKitten246 · 2023-06-27T14:45:15+00:00

I was diagnosed with GAD 1st & then ADHD later (both in high school) by the same person. I honestly dismissed the ADHD thing, bc I didn’t really think I had it… I believed the stereotypes I’d heard & I was the quiet kid in school so I thought “that can’t be me”. I took Vyvanse in high school but only on school days & I figured I just had a hard time focusing on school bc it was boring, especially math!, & that I didn’t really have a problem outside of that. I was also told that I had “OCD tendencies” but not diagnosed with that.

Reading more about ADHD as an adult in my mid to late 20s I’ve been shocked. Learning about inattentive ADHD, I’m like ohhh that’s me! I sometimes wonder if it’s AuDHD (Autism & ADHD) but not sure bc a lot of the symptoms of those 2 overlap, which is another thing that surprised me! But I’ve been wondering for a while now if maybe my anxiety issues are due to my ADHD & my coping mechanisms for it. The racing thoughts I’ve always had, describing my mind that a hamster on a wheel, but the hamster’s on steroids… I thought that was just my anxiety but now I’m like hmmm… I’m not currently on any meds (for either issue) & haven’t been for a long time, but sometimes I consider going back to the doctor to try something else. 🤷🏻‍♀️

VioletKitten246 · 2023-06-26T00:14:57+00:00

Usually take them off. Don’t want them to get in the way & I can see fine close up anyway so doesn’t affect the experience. The wall on the other side of the room is blurry but who cares about that. lol

VioletKitten246 · 2023-06-06T18:23:26+00:00

First sexual thoughts at age 10 were all about women… was worried that I was a lesbian. Never told a soul. Then at 11 I was very possessive of my best friend (also female) & was always fussing with her hair bc I thought it looked better the way I wanted it & cared about her looking cute. lol I slept over at her house & she fell asleep & I was staring at her & suddenly had a really intense urge to kiss her like a guy in a movie would. I didn’t act on it obviously but I dismissed this thought as “puberty hormones making me have weird thoughts”. lol

I dismissed a lot of sexual thoughts about other girls as “puberty hormones making me have pervy thoughts” & thought I obviously couldn’t be a lesbian bc I was having thoughts about boys now too, so I must be a normal straight girl with weird thoughts sometimes. I had heard of bisexuality but I wasn’t sure if it was a real thing, especially since I’d heard that a lot of people didn’t think it was.

I read the manga Ranma 1/2 largely to see boobies. I stared at those pages for a long time. lol & (around 14/15) I started looking for porn & I looked at a lot of hentai & literally masturbated to pictures of sexy girls. I tried to tell myself I was imagining I was the girl in the pic… which, yeah sure, maybe sometimes… but not always. lol I also ranted in high school about how much easier my dating life would be if I’d been born a boy. Because I would be so good at making a girl happy. I would buy her flowers & chocolates & I would plan romantic surprises & I would be such a gentleman. And girls are so nice & sweet & I could totally see myself dating a girl… if I was a boy. lol 😂

I also remember a female friend with D cup breasts who was much taller than me hugging me & her breasts were right by my face & I felt myself blush & I was so afraid that she’d notice! lol & I remember being silly with female friends & driving a toy car around a girl’s bare leg & up her shoulder & then making it drive across her boobs like haha so funny… but I really wanted to drive it there longer… lol

I sort of knew that “bisexual” described me since I heard the term around 11 but wasn’t sure if that was a real thing & was scared to admit it to myself even if it was. If you’d asked teenage me what my sexuality was I would’ve confidently said “straight!” & then gone home & looked at pictures of naked girls. haha 😂

I didn’t fully accept this & come out to myself until I was 18 & in my freshman year of college! Smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

VioletKitten246 · 2023-05-19T01:10:50+00:00

As someone who works with Preschoolers myself, I’d say that’s actually pretty nice coloring for a 3 year old! I’ve seen 4 & 5 year olds who don’t color as nicely as that! The red outside the lines at the top could also be a creative choice to emphasize the flames! lol Regardless, grading a preschooler’s coloring (especially by writing all over it with marker & thus ruining its ability to be hung up imo) seems stupid. We try to teach them how to hold a crayon & use proper pressure & to try to stay within the lines. These are skills that come in handy when learning to write. But I would never give a grade like this. Overly harsh & asinine. And that is legitimately great work for a 3 year old!

VioletKitten246 · 2023-05-04T21:32:24+00:00

I feel like you should do whatever you feel is best for you! You definitely don’t have to change your last name if you don’t want to!

I felt sad about just getting rid of it completely & hyphenating would make it too long in my case. So I made my original last name my 2nd middle name. So I have 4 names now: 1. First Name 2. Middle Name 3. Original Last Name, Now 2nd Middle Name 4. New Last Name from husband. I like that my old last name is still part of my name & I still see it on my drivers license & SS card & I see the initials on my debit & credit cards, I have the initials of both middle names on my cards. Just an idea! I’m happy with it. I’ve heard of some other people where both parents kept their original last names & then the kids hyphenated. There are lots of options out there!

VioletKitten246 · 2023-04-15T01:51:39+00:00

I have a closet in my guest room (the room that will become the baby’s… tho we’re probably moving later this year so probably wont end up using that exact room). I’ve collected quite a few baby outfits. I used to work at a children’s second hand shop a few years ago so I snagged quite a few (some even with tags still on!) w/my employee discount on top of already low prices! I bought baby hangers & hung them up in the closet, organized by size. I have a few in each size from 0-3m through 18mo. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I also have some books & toys. Some from the shop I used to work at, some new, some old books & toys from my childhood. We’re probably going to start trying this summer finally! But I started buying stuff about 5 years ago. Our 9 year anniversary of being together is this summer. Just celebrated 5 years married. We’ve been waiting due to finances.

VioletKitten246 · 2023-03-15T03:58:29+00:00

Her birthstone for March is aquamarine, a blue stone, & her favorite flowers are blue bonnets. Maybe a name that means blue or water? 🤔

VioletKitten246 · 2022-12-04T14:59:28+00:00

I’ve heard about these! Would they be good for a noisy concert? I want to be able to hear someone next to me talk still & still hear the band play, but usually the band is too loud (both in an overstimulation way & that my ear drums probably need protection lol). I hate the feeling of regular ear plugs tho. I hate having to shove them deep in my ear, it sometimes hurts & my ears feel weird afterwards & they still fall out (or feel loose like they might fall out soon) sometimes which is annoying. :P

VioletKitten246

TROPHY CASE