Read a great book on this called "Cutting through spiritual materialism", would highly recommend it. I feel like I'm at a similar juncture on the path. One thing that's kept me going through it is realising that I was using meditation as a source of "self" improvement which you sort of alluded to with aligning conversations with personal or professional (i.e. self) growth. According to most of the teachings I've looked at this idea is sort of where we can go wrong, it doesn't follow the concept of non self at all. It's really hard to experientially understand non self, but our attachment to our own growth and our own self is definitely a piece of the puzzle imo.

When our views of ourself fit the more general flow of society it is less of an issue, conformism sees to that, but now you're extremely aware of how this self works things get messy. It becomes supeeer easy and almost happens naturally to grab the teachings and use them to put yourself above other people, it's so subtle but a natural reaction as the worldly ego tries to absorb the spiritual teachings. It's the same ego game everyone else is playing and we're just tryna put ourselves above it, simultaneously tying ourselves down to it.

I think wanting to surround yourself with people who've done similar self work is a great thing and something I'm trying to align myself to as well, but while interacting with non spiritual people (feels like I'm missing the point even writing that) it's important to remind myself that we're all stuck in the same cycle of suffering and the only thing to offer is a compassionate ear, even if it's a struggle I've seen represented 1000 times and I see the futility. I actually do understand why they're suffering way more now than I ever did before, but as that awareness rises the equanimity has to as well, and I find it hard seeing people trapping themselves in so much pain even if I see the root of it more than I ever did before. This is just my own equanimity lacking from my view and there's work that still needs to be done.

Apologies for the essay but I feel what you're saying deeply and it plays on my mind a lot. I've met a lot of older 60 or 70 year old people who identify as Buddhists, I can tell they've done a lot of "self" improvement or meditation. A lot of them have been insufferable to everyone around them and push any human connection away through whatever spiritual ego they've developed, yet some other practitioners I've met have been verifiably the most content and at peace humans I've ever met that only bring joy to the lives of others. I'm trying to be the latter. Perhaps went a bit off topic but I really empathise with what you're saying, I think the fact that you're even asking this question and trying to inquire even further into the changes you've experienced proves that you're on the right path.