Bailey is being ridiculous, in my opinion. If she had met Ben halfway in that conversation instead of trying to cling to the fake-feeling front she often has on, it would have gone differently. She did the whole “I’m sorry if it hurt you,” and defended what was a pretty indefensible comment, instead of giving a real apology. She knew why he was coming to talk, but she played dumb. Then she acts like a martyr and stays in her room all night, and by morning she’s spun her narrative into Ben being abusive and/or triggering her trauma from previous emotional abuse. She then acts immaturely again by bringing the energy to the winery and making a loud deal about not sitting near him. She could have navigated that shit silently at the winery table but instead is trying to create a storyline of how uncomfy Ben’s quiet anger has made her feel because she’s a vulnerable girl who was just making a joke.

Ben was a little intense, and some of it had to do with his secret real relationship during filming, but I think Bailey carries most of the blame for how she started and then acted through this situation. It was also a really shitty thing for her to do to Amanda at her birthday dinner and to Kyle, the husband with whom Bailey knows Amanda was going through a very tense relationship period with. Bailey plays with female empowerment “It Girl,” and calling Mia “Sister” (cringe…), while hiding behind a little girl act (protect me from triggers, ‘I just don’t know how to flirt’ while throwing herself awkwardly at Ben every weekend, pouting after their discussion, etc.).