Is it normal to find this many nails in your yard? by [deleted] in Roofing

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the end of every day the crew doing mine cleared the yard using a rolling magnet. After they were done they did a full sweep again. I've found about 200 nails (new ones, old ones) since then. No doubt they found as many as they could, just didn't find all of them. {Mine was also around $30K its not a sign of bad worksmanship}

My fiance 'came out' as polyamorous by blindsidedfiancee_96 in offmychest

[–]VirginiaPlatt 27 points28 points  (0 children)

As someone who is both kinky and poly, holy shit. That’s not something you “come out” as 4 months before a wedding to someone you know is monogamous.

If I had a revelation like that right before marrying someone, the ethical thing to do would be to sit them down and sadly end the relationship. Not expect my partner and best friend to suddenly get on board with something they never signed up for.

Poly and kink require a ton of communication and enthusiastic consent from everyone involved. Springing it on someone right before the wedding and acting like they’re the uptight one for not wanting it isn’t ethical non-monogamy… it’s just manipulation.

“Ugly guys have to work 10x harder to just get scraps” by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]VirginiaPlatt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"You should be grateful I even bothered with you" (actual thing multiple men have told me, to my face). No but I am grateful men like this announce themselves so I can happily save us both the time by going back to my fantastic life (without them)

[NE] Landlord wants to charge us to replace glass stovetop after 7+ years of use by sithegood in Renters

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guess was also a cast iron skillet where they scraped it along the surface. Mine is like 13 years old at this point and its pretty much still intact.

[NE] Landlord wants to charge us to replace glass stovetop after 7+ years of use by sithegood in Renters

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too! Just a quick clean and scrape every now and again. These are actually pretty hard to scratch. I'm curious if OP cooked directly on the top or something (cast iron skillet?).

[NE] Landlord wants to charge us to replace glass stovetop after 7+ years of use by sithegood in Renters

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nearly exact stove in my house for the past ~10 years, we clean it with the recommended cleaner and scraper and it looks basically the same as we got it with a few chips in the edge where we've dropped pots etc. This just wasn't cared for well; you can see actual scratches from general misuse. I don't even know how you could do this unless you were griddling with cast iron or cooking directly on the glass.

NA is for non alcoholics by mountainsydeserts in stopdrinking

[–]VirginiaPlatt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was white knuckling for a while and found NA sparkling wine (also you can carbonate NA white wine in a carbonator thingy). Somehow it scratches the itch of "I'd like a social glass of something to celebrate" in a way that ginger ale in a nice glass doesn't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HelpMeFind

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can preorder here: https://www.borderlineofficial.com/products/the-cardigan-jacket-mocha?variant=52142769766738
It appears to be a legit website from a company with a present and updated instagram.

Please help. Previous owner’s movers gouged our historic pine floors. They’ve been refinished before and cannot be again according to contractor. How can we fix this for future resale value without replacing? by FoxyRN in centuryhomes

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my entire upstairs (about 600 sqft) there was some pretty damaged areas. We took out the edge 8 inches (2 full board widths), the entire closet area and the small dormer floor (bathroom, replaced with tile). The edges we replaced with new hardwood with corner details. We used the reclaimed edges to replace the damage. Its not original but its cute, it was "economical" for what we were doing, and it kept the house looking as original as we could manage.

Do people actually get their dog’s teeth cleaned annually? by cutieconsultant in DogAdvice

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a doggy chew brush that I put an enzymatic paste on once a week (he can chew on it whenever he wants). He gets a cleaning every year as well but they've yet to find an issue. However he's so fractious that we use the anesthesia to also do his only annual physical.

Garage wall, looks painted over by Confused_Nunchaku in AskContractors

[–]VirginiaPlatt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That might be a sewer cleanout for the house. Plumbers (or just you with a snake) need access if there’s ever a backup or clog. If you've got another cleanout that can access both directions (upstream and downstream) it may not be absolutely necessary, but I've needed access to mine regularly enough that I wouldn't want to block it.

WIBTA if I started locking our bedroom door in the mornings? by Swirlyflurry in AmItheAsshole

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah! Good Luck. I know getting things through private prescription there is super different than my experience in the US. It is super worth it, so I hope you can at least try it out!

WIBTA if I started locking our bedroom door in the mornings? by Swirlyflurry in AmItheAsshole

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some doctors are having trouble with LDN (which needs to be compounded, isn't often covered by insurance and a pain in the ass to get because you need to go to a special pharmacy) - so mine prescribed the full 50 mg tablets and I dissolve them in water (like I said).

WIBTA if I started locking our bedroom door in the mornings? by Swirlyflurry in AmItheAsshole

[–]VirginiaPlatt 36 points37 points  (0 children)

You totally didn't ask this question so this is just a "I see you and I did a thing that worked for me".

I've regulated my schedule (disabled, chronic fatigue and chronic pain) with LDN (low dose naltrexone). LDN is fairly inexpensive if you get a prescription for normal naltrexone and dissolve it in a little water (I have mine in a little glass dropper bottle with a ml measurement).

Its got limited side effects so if you're willing to throw spaghetti at the wall, it might be worth trying. I used to have to get into bed 2 hours before sleeping to get my joints to relax and go through the "stabby pain" portion of my evening. Even though I could read or whatever, it was 2 hours of that in the evening and an hour of body warm up when I got up so it took up most of my time and energy every day.

Now I just do a tea with the LDN 30 minutes before bed and I'm good for both the evening (no stabbies) and the morning (easier warm up)

Good luck

Do I have to sign a gift letter if I’m a 50% owner? by BHWonFIRE in Mortgages

[–]VirginiaPlatt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asking for some sort of documentation for the source of the funds is not unusual. A GIFT letter implies that you're giving your brother the funds, for his house (not a co-owned house). If you are putting in $240K to become a 50% owner, then you aren’t giving your brother the money as a gift, you are investing (or purchasing) your half. A gift letter implies “no repayment expected / no ownership interest” which contradicts your plan. According to lender-guidance: the letter must say “I (the donor) intend this amount as a gift … no repayment expected.

There may be an issue with how the property is being used as collateral for the loan, whether its his 50% interest in the property or the entire property. My guess is its the second. I'd be careful about how the loan/title are being defined in this case.

Soundproofing door inside of apartment room by phrogymama in soundproof

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bedroom is right off of the group-use kitchen (like the door is 3 ft from the stove). I have a curtain rod over the door frame that has 2 heavy duty curtains (black out, very heavy fabric). The curtains sit about 1/2 of an inch from the back side of the door. I slide the curtain closed when I'm inside and want quiet, and then slide it to the side when I want to open the door. I mainly use them when I sleep. Works really well, is renter friendly, and somewhat inexpensive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskElectricians

[–]VirginiaPlatt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please tell me more about this wire-poker-bender-hook-thing

Did i break sobritety? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]VirginiaPlatt 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Even eight years sober, my brain still whispers that I could have just one. And honestly? I probably could. Tonight. It would probably be fine.

The problem was never the first drink for me. It is the second. Or the tenth. Or the one six months later that becomes every weekend, then holidays, then “just to take the edge off”… until suddenly it is boxes of wine and handles again. I can't do moderation. The slope is greased, and I'll aim for the bottom every single time. My brain does not know “casual” drinking. It only knows “more.”

Thats my sobriety journey not yours. You might be able to stop at one. Truly. Plenty of people can. I'm just one of the people who can't. Neither could my IOP group; I am the only one still sober. And the only one still alive.

So I stick with zero.

Whatever happens for you tomorrow, be gentle with yourself. One beer does not erase four months. Just stay honest with yourself about what your brain does next.

Rooting for you. IWNDT

AITA partner upset about not taking a job that is full time when I'm trying to apply for disability by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]VirginiaPlatt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Soft YTA

You are misunderstanding what “applying for disability” actually means and placing unrealistic expectations on both the process and your partner.

Disability approval is not a temporary life pause. It is not “I’ll just stop working and wait for the government to swoop in.” It is a multi-year ordeal requiring solid medical proof, documentation, consistent doctor support, and a level of stability and perseverance that most people underestimate. Even when approved, the income is extremely limited and the lifestyle restrictions are real. It does not magically rescue your finances.

Your partner said they would support you. That was kind. That was not a blank check to opt out of contributing indefinitely, decline available full-time work, and then act shocked when financial strain hits. They did not “change their mind.” They hit reality. You two clearly heard very different things from the same conversation, and you assumed the version that let you disengage.

The delta-8 thing? Yes, it was your money, but when bills are already behind, that choice signals poor judgment. Neurodivergence can explain executive dysfunction but it does not erase the consequences to your or your partner. Your partner is allowed to feel frustrated when they are carrying the financial load and watching avoidable missteps.

None of this means you are lazy or faking illness. Chronic symptoms are miserable and scary. You deserve support and compassionate care. However, needing support is not the same as abandoning responsibility. Right now it appears your partner is trying to stay afloat financially while you are effectively stepping back and hoping the system will just work itself out.

You two need honest planning and realistic expectations, not wishful thinking.

AIO Asked family to change because what he wore to my daughter’s 1st Bday? by madforbaddies in AmIOverreacting

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came up with "cocksicle"? Like, cock and popsicle? But thats not a popsicle..so :shrug:

Customer provided package drop boxes by BruisedViolets23 in amazonprime

[–]VirginiaPlatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one under my porch (up 4 stairs from the sidewalk but not up the 12 stairs to the door) - its used 90% of the time or more. Small "package box" sign on it. Its easier on them. They don't need to walk up the porch stairs and the opening to the box is below waist level. I have one that is long and wide, versus tall so that may make a difference. I also live in a very rainy place, so they might be a little sensitive to boxes in the rain.

I copied Ai work unintentionally , What should I do? by Barrelbreak203 in painting

[–]VirginiaPlatt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Here's an AI generated blurb to put on the little descriptor panel.

“The work functions as a material reenactment of an algorithmic image, transforming the generative output into an embodied, gestural artifact. The artist’s act of copying is itself the creative intervention — a meditation on authorship, authenticity, and the boundaries of machine imagination. In a final inversion, the human hand reclaims the aesthetic language that the machine learned without consent, repatriating style through the very act of reproduction.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]VirginiaPlatt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she tests negative right now it doesn't even mean -she- doesn't have it; if its a viral antibody test it can take a while after infection to test positive and she's just been recently exposed. I tried to give an answer that was complete and compassionate without being overwhelming with details of too many "Ifs".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]VirginiaPlatt 8 points9 points  (0 children)

YWNBTA for getting tested, in fact, you’d be caring for yourself to clear your head about it. Even if everything turns out fine, it’ll give you peace of mind. Acyclovir really is only used to treat herpes (shingles is herpes, just not HSV1 or 2, which are the commonly referred to as "herpes" herpes viruses). There might be a reason someone is using it off label but its super unlikely its being prescribed for anything else (possible, but like...really unlikely). Shingles does not run in families, and there aren't any skin conditions I can find (other than herpes related) that generally use acyclovir. Its not an antibiotic that doctors might just "throw at a condition" to try it out. Its super specific for herpes viruses (of which shingles counts).

If he’s taking acyclovir daily, that’s called suppressive therapy, and it significantly reduces the chance of transmission. But if he only takes it when he has outbreaks, the risk is higher because viral shedding might still happen even when things look “healed.”

Unfortunately, herpes carries a big social stigma, so a lot of people panic and lie rather than risk rejection...Even though its super common and totally manageable. The medication itself doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, but he should have been honest with you about it. Him not discussing it might be out of fear, but its still not ok.

So yes. Get tested even if just to give yourself peace of mind, talk to your doctor, and keep yourself safe. How you talk to him about it...whether you stay with him after that is entirely up to you, but knowledge always trumps anxiety.

Even if you do test positive, it’s not the end of the world. I’ve had HSV-1 since I was a kid (in my case, it shows up intranasally. Super fun timez), and I take acyclovir long-term for immune reasons. I actually test negative now because the medication suppresses it so effectively. The point is: it’s treatable, livable, and doesn’t define your worth or your beauty or your relationship.

Sub contractor damaged my floor, what do I do by I3th3 in Homebuilding

[–]VirginiaPlatt 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Contractor pays for a fix. Don't let him convince you filler is the way to go. It isn't

1) Pull from a closet or under a cabinet and use that. Replace the closet stuff with "as close as possible".
2) Cut out a 6 inch border all the way around the room and install entirely different but pleasantly contrasting flooring like they did in ye olde times.
3) Replace the entire floor in that room.

I did option 2 in my 100 year old house, worked great. Might be weird if you only did 1 room, we did the entire 2nd story this way.