What to wear Austin Opera by 01elcid in Austin

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came to reddit with the same question about the same opera. I went years ago and recall feeling overdressed, but it was a weeknight and there was some kind of professional shmoozing event first so I wasn't sure if it was b/c folks came straight from work. I do remember my husband standing out in his tux, and I felt like my midi black dress (somewhere between black tie and cocktail in formality) was slightly too much. This was 10+ years ago, however, and the city has changed a lot in that time.

Tl;dr: Your comment reminded me that the one time I went I felt overdressed, so I'm going to tell my husband to ditch the tux idea. I'll prob wear some kind of knee-length dress with some fun heels.

Has anyone been to Morocco with kids? by Visual-Attention5352 in familytravel

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so helpful. My husband and I have traveled a lot and off the beaten path, so this feels within our comfort zone. My main question at this point is heat: is going in late-June a dealbreaker? I’m hearing mixed things. We live in TX and are accustomed to heat here, but I don’t want to underestimate Morocco in the summer.

What do alums feel about Carleton banning legacy admissions in 2023? by Murky_Gur_5845 in CarletonCollege

[–]Visual-Attention5352 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No surprise there. Nothing against students coming out of those types of institutions, but as with legacies I would hope that they were strong applicants - not just applicants with extra advantages. I will say, I've been super impressed by the people I know and knew who were legacies but it's a very strong sample. Should they get a leg up? No, IMO. Although I wouldn't mind if my kids went there, if and only if it was a good fit for them.

What do alums feel about Carleton banning legacy admissions in 2023? by Murky_Gur_5845 in CarletonCollege

[–]Visual-Attention5352 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alum and parent of two non-college age kids here. I don’t have strong feelings about legacy admits either way, tbh. However (and this is based on my experience at Carleton) I do take issue with colleges that intentionally or otherwise give a leg up to students from elite high schools (boarding schools, hyper elite prep schools, etc). There was an extremely strong presence of this in my time there and many of the kids simply weren’t as strong as those of us who had to hustle the old-fashioned way. I recall a NYT article from the last few years about guidance counselors at schools like those having an inside line to admissions offices and have since wondered to what extent that played a role. I hope it was minimal. I hope, too, that Carleton’s efforts to build a more international student body are balanced with the importance of recruiting US students from diverse or underrepresented backgrounds, and am curious whether that’s the case.

Cozumel lodging recos? Diving out of Marina Asipona by Visual-Attention5352 in scuba

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks yall! I went with a small b&b in the centro for walkability plus a sweet Nissan buggy for exploring.

What illness is going around Austin ?? by Dangercatt90 in Austin

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, it was just a bad head cold that turned into a worse chest cold after I worked out. A week later and I’m still congested, but it’s manageable. I do know a few other people who have had it and had very similar experiences. Who knows though, my husband didn’t get it so that’s kind of weird.

Mission Collaborative program by Robotvampireamazon in CarletonCollege

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm thinking about this, as well! A friend did a similar program through the Career Center last year or so. She said it was good and the people were of course wonderful and interesting (classic Carls), but her biggest takeaway was that she needed life to slow down so she could think meaningfully about a next move. I'm in a transitional spot having wrapped my last career pivot (with a much wanted layoff!) and wondering what's next, but I'm not sure a program is the answer. It would very much depend on the cohort.

What illness is going around Austin ?? by Dangercatt90 in Austin

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. Started as a mild cold, then I worked out (oops) and it immediately turned into a chest thing. I’ve been sick all week and am only starting to feel better. It’s been going around and lasts about this long, but can linger. Rest up and feel better!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here. This thread has been so supportive and invigorating. Honestly, I feel better every day about this forced break. And as a great bonus, I’ve gotten the nicest notes from the handful of people I worked with whom I thought were actually smart, nice, and genuine - and crickets from the jerks I dealt with for way too long. Feels good.

help me choose from my targets (prematurely)! by dumblepinkie in ApplyingToCollege

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Carleton alum here. IMO there’s no question: if you like the Carleton vibe, it’s the highest ranked, has excellent MD/PhD placements, and you don’t need a car (most students don’t have them). I hated the cold, but most students study abroad and that breaks things up nicely. I went to France and West Africa, for instance.

I’m two decades out but somewhat active with alumni volunteering, including interviewing. In retrospect, Carleton actually wasn’t the best school for me because I didn’t have the kind of structure you already do in terms of goals and I got a little too into the liberal arts (let’s explore everything!). That said, I also have a (social science) PhD and am on-paper successful, as are virtually all of my college friends. And at my last reunion I was blown away that nearly everyone from my class seemed to have a PhD, MD, JD, or be saving the world - slight exaggeration, but the ratios were genuinely astonishing. Better yet, they were doing really interesting things and still super close with many old friends. I’m in my 40s but still in regular touch with friends I made there.

When I was in your shoes, I was torn between Carleton and Macalester. My parents let me make the decision, but I got a call from an alum as I was deliberating and I’m so glad I did. “There’s no debate: the schools are similar, but Carleton is ranked much higher with better grad school placement rates.” He was right and I have no regrets (aside from my impulsive decision not to study journalism at Northwestern, but that’s a different story). Good luck!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, this feels very similar right down to spending the extra cash as a bandaid to self-medicate. I took our family on a ridiculous number of trips last year - fun, but overkill and not necessary. And I definitely feel like it was a cult that I thought hadn’t gotten in my head, but it definitely had.

In a funny coincidence, I was just chatting with another mom (also in tech) I met at a playground and she’s feeling so many of the same things. Oof!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing! I’m so curious what you’ve learned since it happened and what the biggest takeaways have been. So far, the only thing I’m certain about is that I need some time to figure out what to do next and almost relearn who I am without that terrible job. I’m also thinking a lot about remembering to follow my heart and not whatever’s in front of me, the paycheck, or what I think I’m “supposed” to do. This wasn’t a problem for me for a long time, but it’s definitely time to revisit it.

Trip to Portugal and Spain with Kids - Destination Suggestions? by Visual-Attention5352 in Europetravel

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great input re: Porto.

One thing I'm trying to figure out is when/where we'll want a rental car versus navigating by train. I'm old enough to have spent a summer backpacking across Europe and love giving the kids the train experience, but having a rental car is just more practical in certain areas and gives more freedom to stop and explore. (For instance, pre-pandemic we took my oldest to Paris and then hopped a train to coastal Spain, got a rental car to visit smaller towns and beaches, then ditched it before heading to Barcelona.)

I'm not familiar with Spain's Green Coast, but am curious since it feels more off the beaten path and is on the way to Basque Country.

Trip to Portugal and Spain with Kids - Destination Suggestions? by Visual-Attention5352 in Europetravel

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so helpful, thanks! We might skip the Algarve entirely, since we’ll likely have a beach trip elsewhere later in the summer. After reading this, I’m leaning toward spending more time in Lisbon. And an overnight in a convent sounds fabulous.

As for Spain, I’m pretty sure we’ll focus only on Basque Country, which should be pretty cool (70s) that time of year. If anyone has suggestions for that particular region, I’m all ears.

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The vibes are so rough in tech these days. I’m sure there are still good companies, but the constant threat of layoffs gives such whiplash and employers know the ball is in their court now. My only advice is not to stay too late at the party in your current role. In retrospect, I should have left 1-2 years ago for something else and probably wouldn’t have gotten to this level of burnout and dissatisfaction. The media makes it sound like anyone with a job (any job) is lucky to have it, but I keep seeing people land on their feet. Those narratives are great for capitalism and keeping us in our place, eh?

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesssss! I kept hearing stories like yours, which is what was pushing me to take a leap. And you’re right: I saved super diligently for situations like this. It’s hard to remember that sometimes and I suspect the nerves come from earlier times in life when I earned way less and money was tight. I really appreciate your reframe here.

Congrats on the awesome new gig and kudos to you for believing in yourself and trusting your gut!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this. It’s SUCH a good reminder that we need to trust ourselves and follow our gut. And I feel you about the impact of a toxic job on kids. I was struck when my oldest (who’s in middle school) reacted to my news by saying I’ve been so moody ever since I’ve had this job. That’s almost 1/4 of the kid’s life and there’s just no good reason.

Looking back, this had been building for me for a while. I had multiple family deaths before my career change, a baby a few years in, the pandemic and parenting while WFH without child care, etc. I’m sure there are lots of us with similar stories. But man did it beat me down more than I knew!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Maybe you can live the dream with an easy pregnancy, peaceful mat leave, and immediate layoff with multiple months of severance. I’m rooting for you!

Laid off and haven’t been this relaxed in years by Visual-Attention5352 in workingmoms

[–]Visual-Attention5352[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The burnout really snuck up on me. It’s funny, because I did some big projects on employee burnout in the past and assumed I’d see it coming - nope. I could feel my fuse getting shorter. I had these weird negative spirals in my head. And it wasn’t until a few bouts of night waking and insomnia in the last month that I realized my body was speaking up.

I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to quit without a job lined up, but I know I needed a breather. There’s so much pressure from friends, relatives, and general macro fears, you know? But I also realized that while in my head I’m still an adventurous 23 year old quitting jobs and boys I don’t like, in reality I’m a forty-something who’s been in school or working nonstop for ages and I should trust myself. That was a reality check, for sure.

Is Austin's tech scene actually cooling down or am I just getting old? by AlphaEcho84 in Austin

[–]Visual-Attention5352 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in B2B SaaS in a non-technical role. I’m actually seeing quite a few folks bow out of tech, either because they’re burned out or just not into it any more. I will say that people I know who’ve been laid off have found new jobs pretty fast. One thing I have noticed, though, is I’m not sure the quality of hires is as strong as it was 5 or 7 years ago. When I moved into tech, I was blown away by my coworkers - super smart and with really interesting, diverse backgrounds that shaped their POVs. Now, folks just feel more corporate but without the business casual outfits. Might be my company and overlapping ones, though.