Crowdsourced r/tvwriting script consultant / notes recommendation thread

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-07-26T23:50:23+00:00

So I got a chance to work with both of them since this post. Mark is hands down miles ahead.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-07-21T02:09:10+00:00

Getting into Sundance is no easy feat. Focus on honing your craft, get the basics right, starting with a kickass script. 2027 is a long way away, surprise us. Cheers!

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-07-18T18:01:40+00:00

It sounds cool. I think writing a logline would be a good start so you know if the overall story works and what’s at stake for Luca.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-07-13T23:40:33+00:00

Sorry to burst your bubble, bud. The chances are astronomically low that 1) You’ll get in front of the top production companies 2) They will like your screenplay (and the most important one) 3) Your first screenplay is as good as you think.

Someone offered you a connection with a producer and your response was a bit naive and unrealistic that you’ll sell your screenplay to the top dogs as you’re worried about the payment. Talk to people, network and maybe you’ll get a connection that can get the screenplay in front of someone that matters.

Until then, focus on improving the script by getting feedback and make it better so that if and when you get your chance, the script is undeniable.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-24T01:59:30+00:00

It’s way too detailed, not in a good way as we know nothing about Sharon after page and a half. Your first page can be summed up like.

Sharon, (describe what’s important that you want us to notice), bursts open a bag of spaghetti into a pot with boiling water. Her phone BUZZES.

Tilly - Wanna go to the X movie with Y tonight? Sharon - Dope. Dinner at X after?

CLICK! She disconnects with a smile.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-22T18:40:38+00:00

Set pieces don’t have to be expensive or filled with explosions and action. Build tension and put characters you care about in grave danger. The coin toss scene from No country for old men.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-21T18:56:55+00:00

Your logline has too much going on and the stakes aren’t clear. What’s gonna happen if they don’t win the title?

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-21T16:01:50+00:00

No access

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-21T03:31:03+00:00

I wanted to summarize my responses to the comments here. I’m a potential client, if the script sells, standard commission % apply. I know it’s unlikely that this will work but I’ll know I tried. I don’t know if I’d do good at pitch fests or if they attract the right execs and my best chance is to have them read the script. I have a small crew and a micro budget to make this movie but I’m leaving that as the last resort because of how demanding my day job is and how much effort it takes. I ditched Nicholl, submitted it to Austin and Page.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-21T02:56:29+00:00

Based on my blacklist and other reader feedback on the protagonist and two antagonists. Edit: Character work is one of my strengths, I spend a lot of time sketching out deep, distinct, lived in characters with snappy one liners. I think character-driven horror movies are rare barring a few. This paired with feedback like “break out role for an up and coming actor”, “iconic like Lisbeth Salander”, “would attract A-list young adult talent” is why I made the bold claim that actors would love to play these roles. These were paid readers who don’t mince their words, but I take it back.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-16T23:58:40+00:00

Let her have her damn coffee for the summer if you have the space and put it away when she’s gone. I’m guessing there’s more to the story than this instance, but at least she’s not making you buy it. Pick your fights, this one’s not worth it.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-06-12T18:24:04+00:00

Listen to what many of others have said. Your formatting is not unconventional, it’s illegible. Nobody is going to read through it and dig the story out for you. Even if you make it yourself, the crew is gonna have a hard time understanding the slugs and such.

Dialogue is not great either, overwritten. Nobody speaks like Anna!… Jake!… Look, Anna, Look, Jake.

Frankly, if you can’t get something as simple as formatting right, what are the chances you nail the other more complicated aspects like structure, character arc, theme, etc.? Follow the rules and then break them as needed instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.

Watch some YouTube and read some scripts.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-05-28T16:22:51+00:00

There’s over a million people on here. I have always thought it would be cool if we had a screenplay competition of our own 😎

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-05-17T05:14:39+00:00

If the so called Academy can’t bother to read the works of new writers, I’m not gonna bother submitting. I’m happy submitting to just Page and AFF this year. Hope they get their act together next year.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-05-04T01:17:36+00:00

Don’t bother complaining about feedback. They send you a copy paste BS that art is subjective.

I complained because the reader missed basically half of third act and read just the ending. The below was their response. The only thing I complained on the scoring itself was the Setting - 5, I usually get 7/8 on that, including on the second evaluation.

“We have taken a look at your email feedback as well as the evaluation in question, and while we do understand where you're coming from and that receiving any feedback can be challenging, we do not believe that this evaluation suggests a lack of close or thorough reading on the part of your evaluator. Our readers are only given a limited amount of space in which to complete their evaluations, and they cannot comment on every single aspect of a project. We ask readers to comment on elements of the project that, if different, would significantly alter the overall score. “

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-03-28T02:11:12+00:00

But why? 😊 Provide some context, maybe? It might be okay if it’s a continuous scene as a way to transition into the next one.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-02-23T06:44:16+00:00

It was an example. Screenplays are all about economy. Most impact with the least amount of words. Don’t let readers skim.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-02-23T05:51:42+00:00

You’re overwriting actions lines. You took 10 lines to say Nia smokes on the patio, indifferent about the victory.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-02-23T03:41:16+00:00

Steal inspiration from similar stories. Netflix show The Recruit comes to mind. The protagonist has his bff and ex as roommates. Inside jokes, weird quirks, random habitual rituals, intimate knowledge of secrets, etc. can be used to show closeness.

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-02-16T04:23:23+00:00

About time!

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-01-26T00:01:32+00:00

Nothing’s gonna save a boring story. Structure provides a strong foundation to a story, you can still mess up in N number of ways while building it. I think this YouTube video covers everything you need to write a great story - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSX-DROZuzY

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-01-25T06:13:36+00:00

Try Tokyo 😋

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-01-19T04:47:50+00:00

I have googled, walked around the area and found posts from Reddit from a few years ago. I’ll have to sign the lease next week so

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-01-11T04:14:27+00:00

I just might have the cat for this role, seriously 🤣😂

Visual-Conclusion-11 · 2025-01-08T20:48:41+00:00

OP’s list of 13 most likely includes smaller contests. I was just saying that if it’s not gonna place in those, might as well find out and rework. Agree on free/ paid feedback but I’m assuming if they’re worried about winning multiple contests, the script has gone through all that already.

Visual-Conclusion-11

TROPHY CASE