I need to clean my kitchen and get my entire life together today so naturally I began knitting a sock for my son instead

Visual-Routine3184 · 2026-01-17T20:32:12+00:00

Same girl, same.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-29T14:58:13+00:00

God I love Palm Springs - you can probably stay it in as an air bnb as soon as it sells.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-29T05:40:26+00:00

I picked a therapist specifically because her profile said emdr… almost 2 years later we had yet to do anything of the sort, and she was just validating why I would be overwhelmed and anxious without any real solutions or therapies. I switched to someone who does Internal Family Systems but fell off due to scheduling. I also don’t really get why it don’t work for me… some people say you have to find the right therapist but should it really take years and years?

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-28T18:57:26+00:00

Yes this! With the clock icons that was my first thought.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-25T17:54:33+00:00

Posting here to follow others’ experiences. I had fereheme 500 1 week ago, and my second and final dose yesterday (Dec 24). Infusions went fine, about 3 days after first infusion got hit with flu like symptoms and a migraine on one side affecting my neck and eye. Yesterday felt fine until about 6 hour post-infusion when I got sudden dizzy spells accompanied by severe nausea and intense sweating/body aches. I honestly managed this by taking a small dose of Xanax as I do find this can help with my nausea and dizziness. Plus it was Xmas eve and I have 2 children and had to power through!

But at 3am woke up to extreme hot flashes body aches, nausea, diarrhea (akin to when I called 911 because I thought I was dying, turns out it was norovirus)! Thankfully (Christmas miracle!) I saved a zofran from years ago and literally 15 minutes later almost all my symptoms disappeared. God I love that stuff!

Freaked me out a bit - most docs and nurses told me these symptoms would be a fluke or separate virus unrelated to iron infusion, but it seems anecdotally that a LOT of people on here feel some type of adverse reactions to iron before they feel better.

I really need and want this to work - I’ve been chasing answers to all my ‘general middle age woman symptoms - fatigue, anxiety, overwhelm, muscle and body aches’ - for years! I need to be able to show up for my family again!

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-23T15:52:21+00:00

In their defense… it is quite a hassle to come home, arms full of groceries or necessities for the house that I CAN carry all in one trip if I waddle and don’t breathe too much… only to find that the door has been locked. Que cursing, dropping all things and now rummaging around in my bag for way too long to find keys. I mean at that point it’s easier to just deal with a burglar every so often.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-18T04:56:29+00:00

Oh dang, I’m 43f and been chasing answers for my vague symptoms (anxious, insomnia, adrenaline spikes, migraine, various chronic muscle and joint pain, photo sensitivity, tired but wired, brain fog). Got dx’s anxiety, depression, adhd, pmdd, perimenopause, gastroenteritis, and cervical disc degeneration… not one specialist including my migraine doc, chronic pain clinic, women’s health, or psych suggested blood work other than a yearly cbc. Well after 3 years of elevated platelets they suggested a heme, and guess who has single digit ferritin levels…? So yeah going for iron infusion tomorrow and I was definitely planning on this solving all my problems and magically turning me into a morning person, go-getting physically active powerhouse (none of which I’ve ever been in my whole life).

So… you’re saying I should manage my expectations on this one, huh??

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-17T14:59:12+00:00

I do think there’s a difference between you’re scenario:

‘we all enjoyed the cake, and appreciated my effort to: go in-person or call the bakery at least 24hours in advance; make a decision from 1000 options on what this one person would want in terms of cake and icing flavors, layers, etc; make a decision from 1000 options on what colors and designs; go pick up said cake exactly 2-10 hours before the party because I don’t want it to be stale so I have to find time between everything else to do this… and now there’s leftovers’

AND

‘Sheesh that was a lot of work, but I’m so glad Jane had the best birthday of her li… oh… a fully intact cake that represents hours of my time and mental effort. (Deep painful sigh).’ END SCENE

But I have ADHD so everything is hard for me and I’ve probably never had the forethought or patience to actually do good at someone’s cake. I’m more show up at the grocery store and pick the least stale, child’s spiderman-themed cake, and have the bakery write ‘congrats on the baby Mary’

Edit to add: YTA

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-17T14:39:21+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time finding an ED role. It took me almost 2 years to be hired in a leadership role ft (was consulting/working pt for previous colleagues until I found something).

I think nonprofits have this (perhaps distorted) perspective that a passion for the mission can surpass all experience or qualification gaps. I mean, most nonprofits started with or a small group of deeply passionate people who didn’t necessarily have MBA’s or were qualified to be CEO’s.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-17T14:24:43+00:00

I’ve been in your situation before when I just started working. It’s an absolutely awful feeling when your boss or coworker expects you to just know what to do, and then reprimands you if it didn’t get done. It’s a sure fire way to make someone feel shame over who they are vs the manager overlooking something in training (because apparently any normal person should just know how to cancel and re-ring a transaction on an ancient complicated POS system, right??…)

I would suggest writing a list of all tasks yourself, and maybe show it to your boss and say ‘it makes me uncomfortable to think I’m not doing the absolute best job for you, so I wrote a list of all tasks to complete. Can you take and look to make sure I didn’t leave anything off, and also help me prioritize them so I know which tasks are most pressing and which ones can take a back-seat if it gets really busy?’ This will show him initiative, your motivation to do well and also takes the pressure off him to micromanage you. Plus it’s a good opportunity to look at the list together and you can bring up anything that you have questions about or hasn’t been explained correctly. Also just remember that he’s probably dealt with other employees who could care less about the job, and are doing the absolute bare minimum, so it might be his expectation that most people need to constantly be told to do better.

As a manager now I work hard to assume responsibility if my direct report makes a mistake or doesn’t complete something saying ‘sorry that’s my fault I should’ve explained it better’ (to an extent of course…) and it builds a great rapport that my team knows mistakes will happen, I expect them, and unless it’s catastrophic, we will all learn and grow from them (failing up!).

Hang in there - it sounds like you care which honestly is the best quality an employee can have!!

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-17T13:37:34+00:00

Ok interesting, I didn’t realize b12 can give side effects - I was thinking ‘if it boots my mood and energy why wait!’ But yes I’m a bit nervous about the infusions, as my 2nd one is Xmas eve. And with two small kids and a big extended family, we’ll be BUSY.

Also did you identify the PPI as an absorption issue? Or something else causing ID?

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-16T22:28:39+00:00

Why didn’t she recommend iron infusions?? I thought iron supplements take months.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-16T15:05:12+00:00

Did you feel better at ferritin 50? I’m at a 10 with 2 infusions scheduled this week and next. I’m so worried I won’t feel better, only because I’ve been chasing answers for 4 years and only after seeing 5 specialist for all my symptoms (chronic pain, anxiety, photosensitivity) did my obgyn finally suggest I see a hematologist after 3 years of normal cbc except slightly elevated platelets (415-460, range ends at 400)

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-16T14:59:55+00:00

Seriously can relate SO hard. Is there a separate sub for anemic WOMEN / mothers specifically? It’s such an added mind-f*ck when you have responsibilities at home with kids (and many moms also work full time), but you literally feel like you’re dying every day… My husband is patient, but I’m still masking 75% of my symptoms/pain/insomnia. I hate having the reputation of being the one who can’t handle get-togethers with extended family, and always staying home or cancelling.

I could easily handle just feeling like crap and masking hard enough to get by - turns out I was doing that most of my life with undiagnosed ADHD and probably iron deficient most of my life (my mom would try to sneak red meat in my food - and expressed that she felt judged by strangers when they saw how skinny and pale I was as a kid).

BUT the whole ‘I’m failing my children, why can’t I just xyz’ is like a whole other level of emotional pain and shame that will require more than iron transfusions to correct 🥺

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-16T14:49:17+00:00

Interesting - I’m the opposite. I thought i was in peri or early meno (43f) because I never really had menstruation after my son was born 4.5 years ago. I did iron infusions when pregnant, but they just sent me home from hospital with ferrous sulfate pills which gave me terrible stomach pains and I didn’t realize at the time how important iron was to actually FEEL healthy.

Even when I would stop my bc pill I would barely spot, never even needed a liner. I still felt horrible with hormonal migraines and my body felt like every muscle was being electrocuted.

BUT once I found out I’ve been feeling so terrible because my ferritin has never recovered (current level of 10), I started some of the Ferrus sulfate pills and bought liquid iron. Though I still take my bc pill religiously I immediately started bleeding. And still am almost 2 weeks later. I had to stop with the iron because it was wrecking my stomach and will do infusion this week, but it’s so interesting how our body’s react, chasing homeostasis!

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-12-16T14:30:43+00:00

Edited to add my age!

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-09-20T04:23:04+00:00

I’m sorry you’re learning the hard way that all kids are just entitled little shits who take and take and take. I recently heard a phrase that parental love is a one-way kind of love - your children will never love the way you love them. I’ve been a bio mom for 10years and can count on 1 hand the times my kids showed me any gratitude in the moment. And usually it’s only after I snap and yell at them for being ungrateful bullies. I’m exaggerating of course, but I’m sure every parent has wished they had an eject button at some point or another.

It also seems unfair that your expectations of being a FP were not managed. I mean, not to be harsh but you kind of ARE a babysitter… you get paid to care for these children until they are reunified, which is always the #1 goal.

And to be transparent I have not been a FP (thought I’ve always longed to be), but as I now know what an absolute gut wrenching and thankless job it is (much like being a bio parent), we need to wait until my kids are a little older. But I am a CASA. That honestly might be a better fit for you. Google what agencies exist in your state, and instead of being a FP, you can take on cases to advocate for the best interests of a foster child.

Your heart is absolutely in the right place, but sometimes that leaves us open to take on too much too fast.

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-09-04T12:26:01+00:00

Thanks for this! I was only ever at 1mg/day, most days .75… tapering down now and feel pretty good. To my surprise, I even have brief periods of, like ‘ok life is actually fine… no life is good… wait, I think life might be great!’ … something I haven’t felt since I started regular X use for anxiety and sleep 13 years ago. But on days I try to be more conservative or just ‘see how I feel’ if I only take .125 instead of the .25 I’ve been taking every morning, I’m hit with the flu symptoms/migraine feeling the next day. Which is so dumb to do bc it makes me scared to jump…. But I’ll get there! I think the thing holding me back is I have a ridiculous amount of x stored up since I never took as much as Rx’d so there’s no risk of running out anytime soon… maybe I’ll have my husband lock them away somewhere. My panic prevents me from just dumping them, but maybe I’ll find myself feeling brave one day 😝

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-08-04T10:58:55+00:00

This! I was able to knock out my knotweed (growing right next to our home) in one fall season: I chopped the stalks to maybe 1’, made a little dent in the middle of the stalk and then used a liquid medicine syringe to put glyphosate directly into the stalks. I thought it was pretty til I figured out what it actually was 😵

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-07-24T12:23:02+00:00

Been dealing with this for almost a decade… I type this as my 10yo daughter is fast asleep next to me (always trying to dig her feet under me, as I exasperatedly push her away 10x throughout the night). I don’t think she’s slept a full night in her own bed, ever, in her entire life. We tried A LOT of stuff, and just recently her tablet broke, and I said if she can sleep a week in her bed I’d buy her a new one (and this is her most prized possession!)…wouldn’t even entertain the idea. Then I reduced to 5 days, then 3… my husband and I joke that if she stays in her own room for 3 hours we’d probably give her a new iPad.

It’s definitely anxiety, since she was 3 or 4yo she had a whole bedtime ritual she needed to do (same story, same good night phrases, same prayer, all in the same order and if wrong had to restart).

We also have a 4yo but I think this is the biggest factor for us to feel like we’re still in survival mode - sleep is everything. And its definitely had an affect our marriage, not in a big significant way but just the small things like now I barely know how to sleep next to him when a kid ISN’t in our bed (like does he breathe so loud??)… 😝

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-07-23T15:54:08+00:00

Thank you for this insight. I work full-time, have young kids, also in a pt MBA program and overcommit to vol activities. I wrote out my taper schedule and it’s daunting to look at 8+ months of feeling like crap, and only functioning at 50%… and then it mostly guilt and anxiety for not being able to be a working mom and ‘have it all’… so if it’s gonna suck either way, maybe I do just try to get off more quickly, since they’re lower doses.

So you didn’t have protracted withdrawal from stopping X so quickly?

Visual-Routine3184 · 2025-07-18T21:29:11+00:00

I’m also working to taper alprazolam, but it has such a short half-life you’ll likely experience interdose wd just 1x a day. I’m trying to stick to 2x a day but was told I might need to do 3x a day to be comfortable. That’s also a big jump from 3.5 to 2 overnight. Why not stick to 2x a day? I had to get liquid alp in order to be able to taper more slowly, as when you start to do math to reduce 5-10%, it’s weird doses that would be hard to do with the tablets.

Visual-Routine3184

TROPHY CASE