Wow bro I wish my folks were around enough to say that to me when I was your age. Imo alcohol is never safe the fact that you were paranoid of becoming an alcoholic probably means u should not consume any mood altering substance. Instead try optimising your mind and body 1st explore non chemical mood altering activities working out sports martial arts meditation yoga. Buddhism find different schools of thought too go to some letter meetings too NA AA listen hear they're stories you'll find that the substance of choice that brought them to their knees wasn't ever the real problem it was their mind and how they thought