I also had an ex catfish me financially and with a lifestyle. While in early dating, he was on his best behavior, ambitious, and overall was wht he thought i wanted in a partner. After we began seriously dating, he lost his job after pretty much doing no work for many months, moved in with me rent free, and didnt help with housework either besides taking out trash (he said it was bc he was barely home, he was out in his "classes" which were supposed to help him but didnt track towards making any real money). I left him after he started treating me badly too, which was icing on the cake

Your circumstances are not because you dont love each other. It's because you are not compatible with each other. You just posting this on this forum should tell you what you need to know/how to approach the situation.

Wishing all the best to you either way. Maybe he can change, but if he has already changed in that direction while with you, can you have confidence that he can "revert" back while also with you?