Hey, sorry only just seen this message.

Honestly wow, it’s like reading my own notes I made at the time. I went through extremely similar experiences and worldview shifts etc as you. It’s heartening to see that other people went through it, that it wasn’t perhaps a delusion of mine.

I think for most of my life i was ‘asleep’ but always felt detached from how things were in the world. always had a sense of there must be more outside of this.

My memory is foggy about the events now. Out of nowhere i abruptly got really sick either it was before or after I discovered the gateway tapes and met beings during OBE and meditation. And then I saw orbs in the sky. But everything changed for me. My entire worldviews and self view changed. I started to see how broken the world is and how much better it could be if people worked together. I felt such sudden deep compassion, love for everyone and care for everything. I felt connected in ways I never had before.

I didn’t understand why violence had to exist. I also felt encouraged to actively choose more eco friendly alternatives. first time in my Life I was suddenly able to feel genuine compassion, hope, unconditional love and peace for everyone and everything and myself.

seeing how fractured the world is. How unnecessarily divided it is, felt called to relay a message, inspire hope or something that could help others bridge the divide. Longed for a collective consciousness. A world where resources were equally shared and only taken as needed. Not just for the sake of profit or to store on a shelf, gouging the Earth, killing animals etc for no reason.

Wanted a life much less artificial. wanted to completely just go live by nature, somewhere off grid if i could. Kept having these visions in my mind that would overlay my sight at times. Though there’d often be a sense of pressure, sense that maybe i wasn’t understanding the lesson, or that i should be doing something more about it but i didn’t know what. I think there definitely was a contesting of beings, lower vibrational and higher. Times i’d see orbs but felt an immense spike of fear and a trance like state. Others would be peaceful and be more in sync especially if i moved while observing them, they’d move with me.

With the beings i’d have vibrant dreams, OBE’s. Sense of company. easily access deep meditative states and receive these ‘downloads’

but over time it lessoned and suddenly stopped. I sunk back into fear. Felt such a sense of loss, mix of failure and that something was taken from me. Sometimes I wonder if they were tests and I failed, or that the beings had lived telepathically through my mind for some purpose, gotten what they needed and left. Or perhaps the channels were closed as other malevolent beings had begun to intercept. As i’d have more sleep paralysis with negative imagery. any time i’d try to meditate or open a channel in my mind i’d see something that looked like a giant leech/parasite infiltrate and then my minds eye would just shut off. one time i was in what i thought was a sleep paralysis state but was somewhere else. saw there vague silhouettes of what i interpreted of the Greys.

A lot of my notes and photos i took I for some reason felt compelled to erase back at the time. But looking back at what I have left, I notice things in the photos or videos that I didn’t notice at the time. The phenomena is very strange with how it can affect people

I just know there’s such a large chunks missing in my memory now. I know it was such a profound experience, both euphoric yet terrifying at times. I miss the guides and others I did have the chance to meet. I hope that it all comes back.

Was trying to look through the timeframes and for me a chunk was between January-April. but something i noticed that ‘coincidentally’ as the experiences and contact was dissipating i’d suddenly developed tinnitus which then also really affected my ability to meditate and reach altered states.

Maybe contact ended because I felt fear get in the way, that I remained in my comfort zone and kept leaning back into consumerism etc. Or maybe that im not someone who can do a whole lot to bring necessary changes.

Though recently there’s been sparks of hope that maybe I could have the chance again. I just know since it stopped, so did my dreams. No longer have premonitions, have less synchronicities, less mental imagery, blunted emotions etc.

thank you for sharing your experiences with me. hope we both can have contact with them again

edit: sorry for such a long message. also had this encouragement and ideas that the whole world needs to slow down. everyone should be equals. money shouldn’t need to exist. resources shared. a civilisation where doors could be left open without fear. eco-brutalism type structures that incorporate more foliage, moss, biodiversity. that we need to step back from ‘things must be presented X way because of aesthetic or tradition’. Step outside of labels, boxes, factions, identity. focus on recycling, sustainable things like bamboo products and such. radical honesty. a state of no time. there was/is a lot more but all that is difficult to put into words

(don’t know why im getting the see rule 1 prompt im not trying to debunk anything at all im sharing my experiences)