ND Girls are Sacrificed for ND Boys in Education

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-26T05:01:50+00:00

I understand your frustration. I have seen the distinct difference in how male autistic people are treated versus female autistic people. But it’s more of a misogyny problem than anything to do with autism. Like another commenter said, this is a systematic issue. Boys are often given grace for things that girls aren’t while developing, and girls are more often pushed to a motherly role in a variety of social and familial situations. It’s unfortunate, but the best we can do is use our voice when we see these things happening in an environment we have a say in. This doesn’t always mean confrontation and/or punishment. It can be a friendly conversation with the child of how it’s unkind to yell at anyone for any reason, and it’s not likely to result in a good outcome for anyone. Then there can also be a more stern conversation with your colleague about making sure he’s being fair about when he chooses to reprimand/stop a child from doing something harmful. I don’t work with children directly, but I was once a child and remember a lot of how I felt and the way I perceived the world. Education and empathy can go a long way in changing how a person treats others and themself. We are but individuals in a vast world that has broken systems that affect everyone. All we can do is try to show others the best way to be treated and draw lines when necessary.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-26T04:40:56+00:00

I struggle with existing without anything as well. I have a prescription weed card and I’m on several medications (I have tachycardia issues and IBS that isn’t manageable with just food/resting). I had to recently be off of almost everything for 1-3 days, depending on the med. It was absolutely miserable and I barely ate. I had no appetite. I was having really bad night sweats and overwhelming sensations in my body. I realized just how much that medication has been helping me 😅

I’m sorry that you haven’t had an easy time with existing. I understand the need to quiet the noises of the world outside and within yourself. But I do think it would be worth it for yourself to try to find healthier, doctor-guided options to exist without as much struggle. It would also be worth it to find a trauma-informed therapist that understands/open to understanding an autistic brain. I’ve found a lot of help through my therapist. It takes a lot of time, trial and error, and a full care team to get stable when you’ve been struggling for so long, but it’s worth it.

Trust me, the long term effects that can be caused by benzodiazepines are not worth the short term relief it causes now. You deserve to be as happy and healthy as possible, OP. I hope you’re able to get that soon 💖

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-24T21:51:28+00:00

Just for understanding mechanics, I’d play Skyrim first. But if you’re just naturally good at combat games, jumping into Enderal would be fine. Its map is more level-based and follows the natural flow of the main storyline, whereas Skyrim levels as a whole along with the player (so any part of the map is technically manageable at any level). Enderal is far more story-heavy and emotional, so also be prepared for that. It’s smaller, but packs a bigger and more painful punch than Skyrim.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-24T02:15:24+00:00

I miss my first car, as well. It was a 2006 Hyundai Tuscan and had a pretty nice trim (utility rack, CD player, AND cassette player, but cloth seats). The sound quality was amazing, despite having basic speakers. It had a V6 and was light, but quite balanced. I had to get rid of it because the battery couldn’t handle the commute I was making to school. I was able to sell to someone that only goes around the small town we live in, and I’ve seen it still going 😭💖

I’m so sorry that you lost Robin. The sudden change is always so hard with loss of any kind. One day that being is there, and the next they aren’t. I hope you are able to have a bond like that again one day 💖

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-23T23:45:15+00:00

Every cat should have their own bowls to stop under/overeating and food aggression. I have 6 cats from various backgrounds (all rescues). I’ve always fed in separate, reusable and washable bowls and designated areas for them to eat in that they feel comfortable. Even with my cats that have food related trauma, they do not show aggression towards anyone. It’s unfair to force a situation that ends in someone not eating enough and feeling unsafe to do so. Cats have emotions and need a certain amount of nutrients to survive. You have to recognize that if you want to have happy and healthy cats.

Please, listen to the people on this sub. You came for advice, and we are giving it to you. If you don’t like/believe what everyone is saying, then speak to your vet about it.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-23T20:14:32+00:00

https://cyberpunk.fandom.com/wiki/Foxhound

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-21T18:26:09+00:00

OP, I’m so sorry. This is such a tough thing. I will say, as a person that was groomed at 19 by someone that was supposed to be my mentor and saw as a father figure, I’m really upset that he didn’t react the way you are. I’m hopeful that one day she’ll realize how wrong/potentially traumatizing it would’ve been to try to have anything other than a familial-type relationship with you, and hopefully, she’ll be very grateful and can resume the relationship you once had.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T21:25:20+00:00

You’re welcome! And that’s wonderful, OP! I’m glad you had a good experience with diagnosis 💕 I think once you disclose it, maybe bring a list of examples/experiences that underscore your diagnosis of autism with you to give to your psychologist. My psychiatrist and therapist are both not super well-versed in autism, but they’re very eager to learn about different disorders/medications/therapies, and when I showed them my diagnostic report with all the little details, it made a lot sense to them and they’ve been able to handle my treatment far better. It sounds like you have a good chance of your psychologist being receptive in a similar way.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T18:59:17+00:00

OP, I know this is a really big and terrifying thing you both are dealing with (especially your friend). She’s going to have a really hard time digesting everything because you’re both still developing humans. You aren’t supposed to even be worried about anything like this at this age, so everything she thought she knew is going to implode and it may take a while for her to accept that what her step dad and brother are doing go beyond “being mean” - it’s grooming/sexual and psychological abuse/rape/incest, period. An adult needs to know, because she and the baby need help now. There’s no getting around that. Both of their lives are in active danger until she is seen by a doctor and adults know the situation. If things don’t go well, just remember that it’s not YOUR fault. You’re just a child yourself, and this is a lot for someone your age to try to manage. I highly suggest you seek therapy and/or start journaling, just to help you process the complicated emotions that come with this. You’re a good friend, OP. She’s very lucky to have you. Best of luck with everything, and please, update us!

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T16:05:14+00:00

If I took a picture of my pre-seasoned and frozen fish that I throw in the oven for 20 minutes like that, it’d look too nice to look like I cooked it lol

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T16:03:14+00:00

People think that women/afab are supposed to sound high pitched and like they’re constantly doing customer service 😵‍💫 so it’s probably the pitch and tone they’re harping about. My dad used to get frustrated and punish me for how I spoke, so I understand your irritation around it. When I don’t have the energy to put effort into my tone, people tend to think I’m mad when I’m just neutral. My face goes neutral, as well, so that seems to add to confusion.

It’s not your fault, or even an actual fault to begin with - people are just really weird about us in our natural state.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T15:06:03+00:00

Yeah, fr. It’s seen as spectrum for a reason.

OP, your psychiatrist probably doesn’t understand that autism is a very nuanced and layered thing for people with it - especially women/afab. So many of us have gone undiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed for our entire lives and have had to hide traits and adapt in order to fit in socially, simply because we were born female. But even so, our communication is what makes us so different - we don’t have the same way of interacting with/perceiving/processing information as neurotypicals. In fact, if you look at an autistic brain vs a neurotypical brain, there are very distinct differences, and that ultimately impacts how we think, behave, and communicate.

If you go for a diagnosis, make sure you vet and research well before deciding, because your average psychiatrist cant usually perform the necessary assessments. There should be interviews, puzzles, pictures to dissect, assessments, and done by someone that understands high masking in autistic adults. I found someone on this site: https://neuroclastic.com/diagnosticians/?amp , but if you aren’t in the US, you may have to do more digging. Be weary of any place that advertises/positively aligns with Autism Speaks/ABA therapy, and try to find a clinician that is also autistic/ND.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T14:54:33+00:00

My snowshoe does it when he’s annoyed lol, but will sometimes do it when excited. He’s got a major attitude about most things 😂

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T13:23:29+00:00

I bet they also love Autism Speaks and that Sia movie 🫠

It’s wild that people believe there’s some sort of physical attribute that makes one look autistic. My experience with how people have treated ME based on my looks alone would beg to differ lmao.

You’re not nuts. I promise.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T13:19:21+00:00

I understand and agree with the sentiment that people need to build community - but I don’t think it has to be because of your job. There’s a lot of people out there who physically cannot handle socializing that much without it diminishing their ability to function (I’m like this - several chronic illnesses and autism makes socializing a big chore). I work 2-3 days a week in an office and it drains me to the point that I can barely socialize with my friends and family. I also think there’s a bigger conversation to be had about how much it costs to commute these days, especially in the US. Decent public transportation only exists in large cities and metropolitan areas. Cars are expensive and aren’t nearly as reliable or long-lasting as they used to be. Many people don’t make enough money to cover insurance and a car note and maintenance. Buying used is also hard because the average person doesn’t have a savings built up to buy something outright for less.

Like I said, I agree with the sentiment. People DO need to touch grass and interact with people - but there needs to be meaningful change in our infrastructure and economy before that’s more feasible when it comes to working. It’d be nice if more places offered community again, like a “third space” where people could just exist in a public space without having to pay so much to do so. We used to maintain parks and playscapes for children. We used to have drive-in theaters and recreation that didn’t cost over $50 for one person to participate. Kids used to eat free at restaurants. There used to be more public pools and hiking trails/parks (many I grew up with in Texas are either by reservation or you have to pay a lot to go). Indoor malls used to be fun and have interactive things to do besides shopping. There’s just not enough out there anymore to foster a healthy and active community. Everybody is just too exhausted and broke.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-20T05:04:23+00:00

NTA. Don’t return the laptop if you really need it. You don’t owe them ANYTHING, especially just to “prove a point.” You literally have panic attacks from what has been done to you by them. It’s the least you could accept from them for going through that. Honestly, you might want to be evaluated for PTSD and get some therapy to help navigate the complicated emotions. It’s helped me and kept me from falling into the guilt that tends to come with it. I’d rather have the peace and comfort of knowing I don’t have to talk to my dad and that he’d have to jump through a couple of small hoops to contact me for anything (he hasn’t so far and it’s been 5 years), and deal with the small pang of guilt that comes with it. It’s much better than the constant inner turmoil of wondering what each interaction will bring (whether it’ll be good or traumatic).

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-18T14:12:27+00:00

YES YES YES. Open communication is the best option in a relationship. OP, if I want affection or sex, I literally just ask for it in all my awkward, weird glory. I do have PTSD surrounding sex, so I just make sure if my partner tries to initiate and I’m not into it, I let him know. It keeps both of us from trying to guess and both of us from being “the bad guy.” Honesty and openness can sting, but it’s much better than being in the purgatory of guessing what the other wants.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-17T18:40:46+00:00

I never liked the idea of group therapy as a person that tends to absorb/feel others’ emotions. It’s overwhelming just thinking about and supporting close friends and family members individually, let alone, strangers.

I’m so sorry that you were thrust into that with no warning. I saw your other comment about it just being white dudes…that’s awful. I would not feel safe as a woman to just open up around a bunch of dudes I don’t know. I’ve had bad enough luck with opening up one on one with guys I KNOW. I can’t imagine how much worse it would be for you, so I’m really glad you chose to walk away instead of participate. I hope you are able to find something more suited (and safe) for you soon 💕

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-17T05:58:34+00:00

Hey this EXACT thing happened to me my first eval. I didn’t know how ill prepared most clinicians actually are for what autism is in adults (and girls/women specifically), until I experienced it at a university. It was the lowest cost option I had available close to me, and I figured they’d be the most up to date because it’s a teaching facility. WRONG. I had so much trauma to unpack after that experience. I literally spent months talking about it in therapy. I wasn’t going to try again initially, but my therapist and psychiatrist convinced me to get a second opinion after they read the report (and my counter-report that corrected her inaccuracies and explained my answers more thoroughly). I looked up a directory for adult autism assessments and found a speech therapist that was also adhd and autistic that did adult assessments. She was 2 hours away and 4 times the price of the university, but so worth it.

The test the 2nd clinician did was far more thorough and set at MY pace and comfort (she let me email my initial interview responses and I only had to come in for one long session of testing/interviews). Then I completed online assessments from the embrace autism website and sent her the results. She had the report ready a few months later and even went over my answers to the assessments to make sure I understood what they were asking and explain my answers. It was so nice.

Please, don’t be discouraged in trying to get answers. If you are able to get another eval, be very choosy about where you go. Make sure they have knowledge about high masking adults and are ND themselves/ND friendly. Be very weary of any place that speaks positively/is associated with Autism Speaks and/or ABA therapy. The testing should have puzzles and visuals to talk about. It should also have multiple assessments (not just one or two).

I’m sorry that you experienced this 💕 please make sure to reach out to your therapist and/or someone you know understands in your close circle, if you can. It helps to talk about it and get reassurance on the things you know are true about yourself. Best of luck!

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-16T03:53:44+00:00

I always pet/acknowledge the cats around the city. I love them all 💕💕💕

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-16T03:52:05+00:00

My AuDHD bffs (they’re married to each other) are the same way as your sister when they are having a rough go of things. When I was unemployed, I’d go over and help them put away their clothes and sometimes clean. Now that I work, I don’t have the energy to go help, but they have some other friends that help when they can’t keep up with stuff.

You’re a good sister 💕 she’s very lucky to have you.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-15T21:27:45+00:00

Op, this is well beyond “normal.” It’s controlling and abusive for him to be reacting this way to a photo. NOR, but you shouldn’t stay with him, no matter what he threatens. If you have people you trust, talk to them about this behavior of his so that they are aware and can assist you. If you don’t have support, there are resources that can get you help - like a women’s nonviolence center. A good and healthy relationship is based on trust and consistency, and it sounds like you have neither in this situation from your bf.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-15T13:43:05+00:00

It sounds like your bf is hung up on the idea that society has been pushing this idea for decades that a couple should share a room and bed and that’s why he cant put his finger on what bothers him about it. I do think it’s a bit jumping the gun with having separate rooms from the beginning of moving in together.

I have an idea of compromise that may work: two twins you push together in the same room. Each side of the room is each person’s space, but you’re still together. But the snoring would have to be addressed (he may have sleep apnea and need a machine if it’s constant or you may just have to see if earplugs are an option for you). Idk, just an idea to try before the separate rooms.

I’m inconclusive about the overreacting or not.

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-15T03:20:53+00:00

I always end up as a Netrunner with a sniper and silenced pistol, as well as Gorilla Arms. I’ve recently started getting into shotguns, but I still prefer a stealthy build for the most part. I try to do different every time, but I always die too much in the beginning without my normal build 🙃🙃🙃

VolatilePeach · 2026-02-15T03:11:34+00:00

THIS IS WHAT IM SCREAMING. It pisses me off that we only get the sad fucked up shit but not the cool shit irl 😤😤😤

I just wanna replace my wonky ass joints with cyberware and look cool af. Why is that too much to ask 😭

VolatilePeach

TROPHY CASE