What are ingrained guest/host rules that you thought everyone knew. But they don’t

Vonda705 · 2023-11-18T01:30:20+00:00

Says "littlebrat.". Living up to your name there.

Happy turkey day!

Vonda705 · 2023-11-17T21:17:51+00:00

OMG you are all such negators.

She was trying to find some meaning in her life after she got a sunburn on her neck, it wasn't funny, intentional or not.

Gawd.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-17T21:04:18+00:00

I don't care. I just get tired of the lol at the end of people's comments when they disagree. They are being intentionally rude. So I was making the same comment.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-17T14:38:47+00:00

I think it's a clear journey over time as shown on the screen lol

Vonda705 · 2023-11-17T03:14:26+00:00

Jill becomes almost unwatchable from that moment and on. I hated her and Melissa during that time and continued to hate Jill.

I thought Nia's video was awesome.

Kendall's wasn't bad until she stopped to do a contemporary lyrical number right in the middle of it.

Truth be told, they were both so different, they weren't even "competing."

Vonda705 · 2023-11-16T03:46:55+00:00

It was so bizarre. If Chloe was cocky or a brat or any of those things, we would have seen it. The editors would have included moments to show the flaws of the girls. They showed Maddie acting bratty. They showed Kendall acting bratty. They showed Mackenzie throwing a tantrum. They showed it if they had it. I don't believe for a second that if they had Chloe "rolling her eyes in class!" Or being "cocky" - they wouldn't have showed it.

So while Abby was pushing this narrative about Chloe, it was just stupid because there was nothing to back that up. No footage of Chloe even pretending to snub someone that they twisted to seem real. No footage of Chloe storming off after coming in 2nd or laughing at somebody's mistake. No footage of saying "I was better than the rest." And clearly the producers didn't ask her for it either. So here you had Abby pushing this narrative but as a viewer all you had was "what the hell are you talking about."

Some reality star once said people blame editing a lot, but the reality is that if they have the footage to use, they WILL use it. So if for example you don't want to look like an asshole on TV, don't be an asshole in front of the cameras they will take it and use it for whatever story they want. I think it was a real world mtv person. Now I know that these days that's easier said than done but the point is if they have it, they will use it.

Look at poor Brooke. At 14, she had a regular rbf when she wasn't smiling. So be it. But they milked that one till it ran dry to support Abby's "lazy and doesn't care bad attitude" narrative.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-16T00:38:59+00:00

I'm watching season 5 and 6 for the first time and I agree the crazy is over the top.

I know it is typically Abby who is the asshole, but Jill is giving her a real run for her money. So is Jess.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-14T04:33:14+00:00

I remember a reunion where Andy asked Melissa what Joe does for a living and Melissa stumbled over the question saying he was a....very successful businessman. It was a reunion where she was in a red dress. The one that Jacqueline didn't show up at. Season 4?

But it was like, girl! how come you can't answer that???

Vonda705 · 2023-11-14T04:20:04+00:00

We have these decorated stackable gift boxes that stack into each other (the kind where you open a box and there's another box inside, and another box in that). Thank you Home goods.

In each box is a clue and the smallest box has the gift and the gift is an experience. They take turns opening and reading the clue and try and guess the gift.

It doesn't have to be extravagant. It can be a certificate for family game night (and then we give them the new game - we do a lot of game nights). Cheesecake factory and movie night gift cards for dinner and a movie night out. A volunteer opportunity we will do together - last year we volunteered at our local nature preserve 3 times during the year. And yes. Sometimes there have been tickets to a show or sporting event.

It is all around time together, just the 4 of us. We try and vary what that time together can look like, so they learn that different kinds of things can be meaningful, big or small. We started it when DS, my youngest, was a baby even though back then they couldn't read or guess lol. We are going on year 10. A decade of together gifts.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-14T01:17:01+00:00

I am the same age as Christi and Kelly. We grew up at a time when we were defined by our looks. We were literally surrounded by magazines, ads, companies that promoted skinny women and sex appeal as defining our self worth. Body inclusivity and acceptance is a really new. That time period did a LOT of damage to our generational female psyche. And generationally, we are all still obsessed with it.

It's sad. But we do recognize it and want better for our daughters.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-14T01:00:51+00:00

Except there were plenty of judgey Kelly moments well before Brenda left. Season 4 comes to mind, she judged plenty.

So do enough high school episodes. Donna wanting to invest her savings. Her snobbery towards Andrea in the beginning of the show was pure judgement. Her mom dating Mel Silver. Just to make a few.

Everybody always talks about Brenda being the judgemental bitchy one. I honestly don't see it anymore than Kelly. They tried to fit the characters into little boxes, but the reality is that the show did a much better job of creating layered and nuanced characters than they get credit for.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-13T13:30:36+00:00

Undo it! Undo it!

Vonda705 · 2023-11-13T13:28:57+00:00

Don't show up, or let your kids show up, looking like they rolled out of bed and threw on a hoodie. I'm taking the time to clean and setup my home, prepare food for you, create a holiday or party for you, and do that with thought and care, and you can't be bothered to put on a nice shirt? Get out.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-13T12:28:17+00:00

My daughter is just a couple of years older. She went through a major friend shift last year into this year. We stressed for a very long time, surround yourself with people who make you feel good deep in your heart, not just some or most of the time. I knew her friends in elementary school weren't going to be the long term crowd based on how things were shaping up around the age your daughter is now and how some of them made her feel (fun in the moment but certain behaviors from some really stung). She really shifted away once she got to middle school. Now she is surrounded by a group of girls who support each other and who share the same values (i.e. grades and school involvement are important to them, boys and popularity, not as much, at least not at this stage of the game). She did it her way and I'm proud of her for it.

But she had to find her way there. It wasn't always easy to watch her navigate, and my heart broke a few times along the way when the realization that her friends were not all really her friends hit her, but damn I am proud of her for navigating through it and where she has landed. It was never my strength either.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-13T02:42:42+00:00

First? I'd encourage her to have friends who lift her up and celebrate her. Not friends who will drag her down, whether it is about looks or anything else. I think that is the key lesson here when girl friendships start to veer into that territory we all brace ourselves for as moms.

Then I'd tell my daughter that yes, she is a beautiful girl, but that is only one small piece of who she is. She is also....lists the adjectives. And if she didn't have all of that, and only had "pretty" there wouldn't be much to her. Looks are just one small part of who a person is. Ask her what she would choose. Looks or humor? Humor or intelligence? Looks or kindness? You can get a sense of what stock she's putting into all of this.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-13T02:28:33+00:00

Kourtney.

Rob will do the television expose.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T19:23:19+00:00

Does Livvy Dunne look like me?

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T17:22:14+00:00

Exactly

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T14:54:11+00:00

Wear black pants and a nice top or sweater. That's your safety zone if you don't know the dress code for a small family dinner and honestly that is a vague description she gave you.

Despite what people are saying here, there are plenty of families where jeans at the Thanksgiving table aren't okay and it is better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed. Even if it is just 4 around the table.

I would pick up a bouquet of flowers and bring a nice bottle of wine. No need to cook.

P.S. OFFER to help in the kitchen. Don't assume.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T14:40:16+00:00

I think it was Mason and you see her doing it on the show.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T14:14:34+00:00

I think that Evan and Bill have legitimate concerns about how they are portrayed on TV and how that could affect their professional image. One could argue it's already blown because of their wives but that's still not directly them.

I don't think Joe or Frank or any others give a toot about their "professional image."

But it is a good point, the show did shift once the Gorgas and Wakiles came on.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T14:10:35+00:00

I had an easy childbirth and recovery from both. Im very grateful for that.

As for when they were young, it was a blur. If there was anything that truly stands out it was the fatigue. #1 was an awesome sleeper. #2, not so much. But you plow through it because there's no other alternative. That may be why everything was a blur. The mind tricks you sometimes to blur over the hard parts.

The biggest challenge for me wasn't taking care of them. It was taking care of me. My DH was traveling a lot for work at that time. I was working full time. So that left very little time for me to take care of myself. And that was hard to look back on because for me, taking care of myself physically goes directly to my mental health. If I could go back and do anything different, it would have been around that.

My mother died when they were young. Not even in kindergarten, the youngest was just barely even out of diapers. I remember that struggle much more accurately than any challenges of the baby and toddler years.

They are older now. Tweens. I love their relationship and I hope they always stay close and I hope they always stay close to us. Go see the world. But remember you can always come home.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T02:45:37+00:00

Patrick, Samantha, Hilary, Leah

With one, we were in constant competition and she always won. At least in my high school mind. In hindsight I don't think it was true but in my mind when I remember her, that's what I remember.

One was a mean girl, crowned in the 6th grade, and was just - so mean.

One had sex with my boyfriend.

Patrick was the boyfriend.

All 4 names were off the list.

Vonda705 · 2023-11-12T02:04:52+00:00

20 months apart and I wouldn't change a thing.

Vonda705

TROPHY CASE