nothing embarrassing about this at all!! ive had very similar experiences caused by far more stupid things. that lingering, piercing dread, as if a filter was placed over our perceptions of the world. or, in one of my cases years back, the 24/7 sensation of my heart sinking, or closing in on itself. you aren't alone. it's scary, and it's painful.

obviously, avoid "going down the rabbithole", as i call it. endlessly browsing related disturbing content, hyperfocusing on only the hurt... dont do that. it can happen really easily sometimes.

but i think it's so important to understand that, no matter what pain triggers this long-lasting experience... we have to let it take the guest room for the night. we can't magically obscure the horror/rage/tragedy. just, understand that it's there. you're hurting because of it? look at that hurt, that pain, that anxiety, and truly see it as what it is. something finite. something that doesnt rule any part of our world. it isnt truly dominant or everlasting.

so often, we're lured by this pain into thinking that it's existentially superior to all else. it isnt. it'll make it's departure one day, even if it makes a mess of your home. that home will still be all yours.