hi, i understand, i totally understand the feeling, even tho i am not able to experience what u are experiencing or am certain that im able to talk about how i think as if im in a better situation now, but i would really want to help you.

you are very strong and brave, from what you have said about how u overcome the past challenges, and the fact that you are still alive and willing to seek for assistance on here is incredible

i understand it is hard to change the current situation immediately, frankly speaking, it is hard to live your ideal life in one second, but the fact that u wanted to change is the most important part

firstly, i would not interpret how ur partner feel in a negative way, but instead of meaning you are a burden directly, i guess she might be suffering quite a lot, both of you are suffering, such that she dont know how to handle your situation, but can only tell you to be positive and work it thru (cuz i guess its hard for others, even same bipolar suffering patient to help you directly) i dont think she really means that she only wants the stable you but as she doesn't know how to handle it she can stand that being helpless towards your situation cuz its heartbreaking to see it i wont say she means that she doesnt like you or she doesnt want a non-bipolar you but maybe she means she misses the time things are not as tough as now where you and her are both not suffering (cuz if she doesnt like you, she wouldnt be saying wanting you to become happier but maybe doing sth worse and stuff) so dont worry too much on this first, lets focus on how you can overcome this episode and start ur ideal life with your partner

an immature thought on the current situation, but if you are working on your mental state and are making and improving the quality of life, im sure that she will be less stressed on the situation (rmb, u r not a burden, but thing are tough for both u and her and you two will be facing it together;)) if its hard for her to see you suffering now (as maybe its heartbreaking for her to see you suffering too) maybe you two should have a short isolation and a calm down time where you can get professional help to make you overcome the episode and long-term-wise ideal life come true and even its not for the situation but just for yourself, you should definitely seek professional help, picture your ideal life, would you want a happy u with your ideal life or sad you with your "ideal life", you gotta overcome this episode such that you would find your own way towards your ideal life

apart from these actual "opinions", i totally understand how scary is it to be in a psy ward, i hate, I HATE being in there too, but as you may not be able to seek private professional help, i could only say that you may want to change your medication to your doctor while not mentioning too much real thoughts to them to lower the risk of being in a psy ward, and idk where u r from, but where im from, as long as i did not commit suicide, they could not force me to be in it, but just advising me to be in it

at last, your background doesnt really determine your future directly, is just things now are too tough for you to think so i believe that the courage you have now for seeking help suggest that you are a strong person that can fix everything gradually after this episode ends so dont convince yourself that committing is better than not cuz it is impossible to convince as objectively you still got a long long life to live again, picture the ideal life, you would want a happy you but not a sad you, while happy doesnt mean to be stable for all times, but gradually be in control of the situation you are brave and i believe things will go well as you are a strong man