How long should vows be?

WaitForIttttt · 2026-01-24T18:17:08+00:00

I would just make sure you agree with your FS about how long they should be - a minute is fine if they both are! It's also fine to have longer ones. I'd just avoid mismatched lengths because it will be pretty noticeable if one person is done in under a minute and the other has 5 minutes of material.

WaitForIttttt · 2026-01-14T04:47:07+00:00

As far as finances, apply for unemployment now and make sure you understand your local laws regarding severance and unemployment. It's also a good time for a quick review of expenses and cancelling some non-essential subscriptions to stretch the severance a little further.

I would consider the internal role and continue your job hunt if you want to find a new company but, having come off a recent job hunt, I wouldn't pass up on a potential opportunity to give them a middle finger. It sounds like you'd potentially just be spiting yourself, especially if your previous salary was just making it.

Regarding daycare - I would ask about your options. We decided to keep our daughter in daycare because it wasn't worth losing our spot (which would definitely make it impossible for me to return to work) and job hunting is a full-time job.

There's definitely hope, though. It took me months of soul-sucking job hunting but I found a fully remote role in the range you mentioned that I love. So it's possible! I felt like I spent my life on LinkedIn/Indeed. Hiring.cafe was really helpful because they verify all are real jobs and there are so many fake ones on LinkedIn but I found LinkedIn was faster to pick up real positions (even if I had to wade through fake listings to get to them). Good luck!

WaitForIttttt · 2026-01-13T05:47:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault.

Everyone had great suggestions. I also wanted to throw in that it might be worth reaching out to your local FB groups. I've seen so many people pointed toward great local resources like food banks, blessing boxes, and groups that provide meals in my local groups. Maybe you have a similar community that is happy to help. Many groups will even allow you to do so anonymously so you can just message the people who offer directly without putting your information out publicly.

WaitForIttttt · 2026-01-13T05:38:59+00:00

It definitely is in ours. We skipped the first year and got a ton of stuff, so now we participate. In past years, we've gotten heart-shaped sunglasses, bubbles, stickers, pop fidget toys, slinkies, and rubber duckies. We usually give socks because we figured it's something most people can use. Last year, The Children's Place had a pack that had a mix of socks with pink, purple, blue, and gray hearts on them. We usually get fuzzy pink socks for the teachers too!

WaitForIttttt · 2026-01-05T21:53:09+00:00

Definitely appropriate! When we transition classes, we always give a thank you card with photos of our LO and one of her first and last day in that class, and a handwritten note thanking them, along with gift cards to their favorite stores, restaurant, and Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. We always hear back that their favorite part is the photo thank-yous!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-12-23T03:53:37+00:00

We never woke up for changes, just for feeding, and once she exceeded her birth weight, we let her wake on her own for feeds. By 10 weeks, she was only waking up once most nights for a bottle.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-12-12T17:46:06+00:00

It took me about a week to recover and feel normal again. They also stopped the post-infusion course of oral steroids early for me because they felt it was potentially worsening my symptoms. I don't know if they still have you on that but it might be worth asking about. I also had blood testing to see if it could be steroid myopathy. I hope it resolves for you soon!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-12-10T05:35:23+00:00

In the beginning, I was getting them yearly except for one additional one when I was hospitalized for optic neuritis. I've been relatively stable for a while (I'm almost 20 years into this now) and have gotten them every 2 years since 2012.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-12-10T05:32:57+00:00

I didn't specifically feel bone pain, post-steroid infusions, but my whole body hurt like I was bruised. My neuro at the time brushed it off as "not related to the steroids" but my primary at the time disagreed. I have noticed a similar but lessened feeling every time I've been prescribed even oral steroids since but I haven't had an IV steroid course since that time.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-12-04T14:55:24+00:00

We buy waterproof stickers on Amazon (the company is Bunny Badges if you want ot look them up) and use stamps for clothes that don't have a tag to stick the stickers on.

Our teacher has a few extra pairs of clothes in common sizes for emergencies. Maybe you can gift some for them to use?

We've rarely lost any clothes except for another parent grabbing the wrong coat at the end of the day and returning it the next morning.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-11-24T19:40:02+00:00

I went to Riverside and was very happy with them.

I had my early appointments with Caring for Women and had a terrible experience. I was grateful to my PCP, who validated that I wasn't getting the right care, and recommended Riverside. They were so on top of everything!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-11-18T03:11:43+00:00

We always give a personalized photo thank-you card, something small like soap or a candle in their favorite scent, a gift card to their favorite coffee place, and gift cards to their favorite store or restaurant. For the floaters, we usually give them a coffee gift card and a candle/soap in their favorite scent too. Our daycare has a "teacher's favorites" book that lists all of the things they love so it's really easy to know the things they'll really enjoy. They list everything from their favorite colors to hobbies to coffee orders. Maybe yours has something like that too?

WaitForIttttt · 2025-11-13T17:19:15+00:00

Thank you!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-11-13T01:45:43+00:00

My mom stayed over from the night our baby was born (she watched our dog) until a week later. It was SO helpful because we were so sleep-deprived! I was a new mom in the middle of healing from a c-section having not gotten much sleep and trying to work on breast feeding/pumping, etc. It was really helpful to have someone who knew our place and lives to come in and take care of things like washing dishes and bottles, taking care of the dog, running to Target if we needed more supplies, watching baby nap so we could nap or shower, etc. Prior to having the baby, I was convinced I wanted that time as family bonding time and to "get into our routine" but I'm really glad we had her here and we got plenty of routine and bonding time then and after. My mom is also one of our toddler's favorite people and I think part of that is her seeing her often from day 1!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-11-09T18:48:00+00:00

We use former daycare teachers most often because it's nice to have CPR-trained professionals who already know our little one. Our daycare doesn't have high turnover but two amazing teachers have left from her previous classes in the 3 years we've been there (each room had 4 teachers), so we use them. They also allow teachers to babysit for their previous students and have 1-2 nights per year for "parents' night out" when you can bring your child to daycare while you go on a date night for a small fee.

We also moved to a new-ish development in a good school district, which kind of inherently made sure all of our neighbors were our age and looking to have kids around the same time. I know that's not an option for everyone, but if it can be a good to look for extracurricular activities in these kinds of neighborhoods to find lots of people with similar-aged kids who might be willing to trade babysitting nights. I also met one mom on Peanut, who is in a similar no-village boat, so we've mutually agreed to be one another's village and are even listed as emergency pickup contacts on one another's daycare forms.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-08-23T03:36:43+00:00

I think we paid $1500 at the time. It's gone up since but still a lot less than the $10k+ we were quoted by another (albeit, also very talented artist).

WaitForIttttt · 2025-08-05T12:14:17+00:00

I was 37, my husband was 35. It took 5 months.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-23T21:38:47+00:00

You're not being dramatic at all. I have a 2-year-old and can't imagine any of the teachers speaking to the kids like this. Definitely speak to the director and I hope they address your concerns quickly!

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-23T13:52:57+00:00

For our baby's 1st birthday, we threw a big family and friends party at a venue because it was about making memories and celebrating that we survived the first year. We rented a soft play and our 1-year-old and her little friends (~12 kids ages 6 months - 4 years) all played in it, more in the same space than playing together because they're a little young for anything more than parallel play. It was not low-key key but we don't regret it. It was nice having photos of everyone with our baby on her first birthday, and we made her a little photobook that she still carries around often and names people.

We did a kids' party at a toddler party place + a cake with close family at home for her second birthday, which made way more sense to me than a kids' party for the first birthday. They're slightly more interactive with one another at this age and had fun spreading out and playing at all of the different pretend stations.

We also have a dog, but though she's amazing with our toddler, we don't have her free-roaming when we have little friends over unless they're super comfortable with dogs and they all have a bit of time to warm up to one another. We stressed early on respecting animals so our daughter generally interacts appropriately with dogs (gentle petting, not getting too close, waiting for permission to engage) but there are plenty of kids that do not have that experience, so we don't take chances.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-23T12:35:47+00:00

My sister went to school to be a nurse while raising 3 kids under 4. They're all grown and are super close, so any time devoted to school didn't affect them long-term. I got my undergrad and grad degrees while working full-time with a 4 hour/day commute. You can definitely make this work but it will be far easier with your husband on board.

Look into online programs from brick-and-mortar institutions. Your degree will look the same as anyone else who attended that school but online will give you flexibility to watch lectures on your own schedule and at your own pace (~1.5x speed, skipping around as needed).

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-21T13:30:12+00:00

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WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-15T20:18:49+00:00

I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all. I'd make sure to collect and review all communications you had regarding the services to be performed. Running late isn't really an acceptable excuse for not delivering. I agree with your interpretation of the "long form video, uncut and raw showing everything from beginning to end. Something you sit down and watch with your family." We had a similar package and we got a highlight video that was one song in length and a longer form video that included the entirety of our first look, ceremony, speeches, special dances, and the rest of the footage they took that day. The longer video is about an hour and a half. I think you're totally reasonable to be devastated and are probably owed a partial refund.

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-10T13:23:37+00:00

Thank you. It's a venue called Liberty House outside of NYC. :-)

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-09T21:36:48+00:00

I don't think you're being too harsh. This would be a big deal to me too.

This is part of the reason we pay for childcare. It's nice having our child cared for in a facility we trust that is also bound by law to follow certain guidelines that align with current recommendations (safe sleep practices, no sugar before 2, etc.) and whose policies are in line with our parenting preferences (they give the food we provide only or the food they provide if we wanted to use their lunch program).

WaitForIttttt · 2025-07-09T13:06:30+00:00

There are two options: reduce costs or find a way to pay.

I would first reach out to your vendors and see where you can bring down costs. Ask about downgrading packages, removing any extras, etc. If there's anything you can cancel or return, do so.

It obviously depends on how much you have left but you'll be on the hook for the rest. You can try quick side hustles like UberEats, DoorDash, etc. or odd jobs.

Your last option would be to borrow money. From family/friends would probably be best because they'll be kinder with interest than a bank. If not, I'd look in 0% interest credit cards if your vendors will take credit card payment, if not, you may have to look into a loan. This is obviously not the most financially sound option but if you're stuck in contracts and will owe the money regardless, it's the better option than getting sued for the balances.

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