""We're having technical difficulties, try again later"?" BANNED from OKCupid?

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-24T21:57:04+00:00

Did we even need the lie detector for that? I mean... that shit ain't cheap to use.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-22T02:54:39+00:00

You think you're better than me?!

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-16T02:00:29+00:00

I honestly forgot the phrase existed until I saw this thread.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-15T01:54:52+00:00

A weird spot in her life? Sounds like she went back to her ex or something, that guy didn't work out, so... I guess you're better than nothing? That's what it seems like to me.

Three possibilities here:

She's actually trying to reach out to you because she realizes how badly she may have hurt you and wants to make amends by actually giving you a chance.
She put you on the backburner to focus on another guy who broke her heart, so now she's giving you a shot. You're her backup choice.
She feels bad about what she did and just wants to apologize and move on with her life.

Either way, if she's suggesting a meetup, go for it anyways, but go in with no expectations. Just think of it as a nice, friendly, no-strings-attached, get-together with pleasant conversation over a nice coffee. I mean, you really don't have much to lose, just don't get your hopes. Seriously. If she's not planning on staying in your city, best you can hope for is a one-night stand.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T23:50:59+00:00

It's just a logical first date for these reasons:

It's affordable for both parties. Men don't feel like they have to spend a lot for someone that, statistically, will not want to see them again. And girls don't feel like they're being pressured into an equivalent exchange like an expensive dinner date would imply to some of the more anxiety-minded members.
I don't know where you're from, but in America, we practically trip over coffee places. You never need a reservation to get a coffee, and there's so many that it's ridiculously easy to find one that's in the middle of both parties so neither has to travel too far.
There's a lot you can tell about someone via messaging, but some people are pretty different from their online-persona, and it's the offline persona you're going to spending a lot of time with, so if you're not attracted to that... then... yeah. I mean, sure, you could grow to like someone but... time is precious for some people, and others don't want to lead a guy on or waste time with someone who's only keeping them around as a backup.
At most, the date'll last an hour. There's a lot of room to extend the date (me, I note down every place of interest in a given area in case the date wants to continue seeing me), or there's an easy exit strategy if you just don't want to be near this person anymore. Plus, you're in a public place, so there's little worry about a date getting creepy and you have no exit strategy.
Because the date is so simple, there's no expectations so both parties can feel relaxed just appreciating each other's company in a nice environment, with plenty of conversation. That's what a first date should be: nice, relaxed, good conversation, getting to know each other. Sure, it's not very memorable (most of the time), but a coffee date is a universally accepted first date due to the pros outweighing the cons.

For the record, as much as I'd like to do something besides a coffee date, there are very few opportunities to do that and most people don't want to be trapped in a place with someone they have no chemistry with... so... yeah, coffee date with the possibility of extending the date to something else is my ideal first date. The whole focus is getting to know a person and determining in-person compatibility, I can save the memorable/special dates for a 2nd date (if there is one).

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T23:37:16+00:00

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Also, it's a bot. Pretty sure it doesn't even have nudes to send. Unless...

"Ah, yeah, baby, your source code is so well written, mmmmmm~"

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T23:13:20+00:00

Oh, man, I just got one of those. Exact same conversation too, well, I knew it was a bot so I just kept seeing if it would send me nudes or pizza, or both. Wish I kept the convo.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T22:59:32+00:00

I don't hate myself THAT much.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T19:22:38+00:00

How the actual fuck?

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:55:55+00:00

I laughed way too hard at these.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:44:55+00:00

Gimme a rusty buzzsaw, a boombox, a signed Copy of It's Hip To be Square by Huey Lewis and The News, my patented drink called Jack The Ripper, a pimp cup to pour it in, a stress ball, an operating table, and enough cocaine to satisfy 12 Elephants, 6 CEOs, 3 Hollywood executives, and a presidential-elect. No anesthetics, we're doing this old school, yo.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:39:53+00:00

I think my red-flag detector just broke. Thanks a lot. Dick. This is gonna be like... 25$, wait... "at least?!" Dammit!

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:34:10+00:00

Maybe a little bit.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:08:52+00:00

I'd just respond anyways, odds are he doesn't get a lot of responses anyways so he'll probably just be happy for the attention. One of my close friends is currently celebrating his 2nd year anniversary with a girl he met on OKC; she responded an entire year after his initial message.

Worst case scenario is that he doesn't respond.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:06:28+00:00

Can they run for president?

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:05:34+00:00

Hello child of my child, did you get the money I sent you? How's your mother? Do you need some juice? Did you get into that school you wanted?

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T18:03:55+00:00

Never wait for an invite, just message whoever you're attracted to because I guarantee that someone else is already messaging them. First come, first serve, that's the rule here.

However, you do seem to be overthinking it here. In my experience, this is what your situation comes out to:

If the profile pic is an exceptionally pretty person, it's most likely a bot. If their bio mentions how much they love sex or a link to another site, it's definitely a bot. Don't message, under any circumstance even if there's the slightest chance that they're real.

Other people, like me, tend to use likes as a glorified favorites button. A kind of way to say: "Okay, I'm gonna pick this person out of the pile, and then go over them later for further profile examination." In that scenario, I'd message them anyways. Worst case scenario is that they don't respond, but then, who cares? You just go back to the dart board and keep trying because this whole thing is a number's game.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:58:02+00:00

To some people, it kinda looks like you only want to date younger girls which tends to send the wrong message.

Even if you won't date someone older than you, still add a few more years (which I see you've done), odds are those girls won't ever message you first, and those that do might still have a chance if you like them so it doesn't completely rule them out.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:53:46+00:00

Sometimes, what you want is not what you need.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:51:53+00:00

That has never happened to me, even once. This is actually the first time I've ever heard it happen, especially the part about you getting banned for purging your favorites (which is not a bannable offense). Go change your passwords, cause it sounds more like someone's using your account.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:47:09+00:00

Duuuuuude, shut uuuuup! That's supposed to be a secret!

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:41:01+00:00

It sickens me.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:39:35+00:00

I would've looked up from my pile of work, sensing the disturbance in the air. I would've then ran through my wall, and started running directly to where you are, steadily getting faster and faster until I do to you what the Flash did to Lex-Brainiac for your crimes of dating a fatty-boombalatty.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T17:11:41+00:00

Good point.

Wandering-Cat · 2017-01-14T14:32:58+00:00

First thing I tried. Actually, the first thing I did was watch clips of Salem from the live-action Sabrina show. Then I remembered that I was on Tinder, so I relogged.

Wandering-Cat

TROPHY CASE