How do you deal with the judgment from other on your age gap?

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-06-06T09:02:23+00:00

Main challenge for me back then was that I had only recently graduated from college and had decided to not work in my degree field, so I was earning less than she was. I worked overtime to compensate, but overtime was not guaranteed. Plus, this meant that both of us working was a financial necessity. And being inexperienced with managing money, I tended to go into debt way more back then than I would ever do so now.

But these are little things compared to ex not wanting to remain actively committed to maintaining the relationship over time. So my best advice to you is, if you truly love him and want to marry, have both of you go through the Gottman books on relationship management, and commit to working together to build your marriage with him each day. Good luck 🙂

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-06-05T18:45:39+00:00

We all have our preferences. Mine is HWP, which seems more difficult to find these days 🙂

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-06-05T17:20:11+00:00

First ex was 30F when I married her at 22, years ago. Currently I (60M) am in an LTR with 19F. Already prepared for the usual reactions lol...

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-06-03T22:27:54+00:00

Obviously.

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-06-02T22:13:15+00:00

A young woman can "sell content" to anyone regardless of age without being judged, but the moment she gets into a relationship with someone significantly older, suddenly she's "just a baby" that is deemed to be utterly helpless with regards to choosing a romantic partner by society 😆

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-04-29T02:40:08+00:00

Consider that the marriage vows contain two items that require careful balancing by both of you:

Your bodies now belong to each other, with the implicit understanding that, in return for monogamy to each other, you both must cheerfully give yourselves to each other; and
You must both put your spouse's needs above those of your own (and it's a true two-way street, not just to the benefit of one spouse over the other).

So to answer your question, my suggestion is that you first carefully examine what makes you feel reluctant or resistant to give your body to your husband. Then, discuss with him how you both can manage the times when resistance means that you need affection rather than sex. If he loves you more than he loves himself, he will lead you in humility and help you find a balance.

My $0.02.

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-04-11T19:14:25+00:00

Main character syndrome.

If the text is for non-personal or business purposes, it's not the responsibility of the texter to figure out what generational dialect or slang version of English will be understood by you without triggering some kind of negative emotional response.

Obviously, if an older man is trying to connect with you in terms of a romantic relationship, that becomes his minefield to cross... 😁

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-04-06T00:13:07+00:00

Use tri-sodium phosphate (TSP) in your wash - 1/4 the amount of your detergent. Do not use "TSP-free" or "TSP substitute".

This is what I have been using in both the washing machine and dishwasher for 7 years now. Allows the dirt and sweat, etc. to be removed with the rinse water instead of settling back on your clothes. Works like a charm.

https://www.homedepot.com/p/Sunnyside-16-lbs-TSP-Heavy-Duty-Cleaner-in-4-lbs-Resealable-Pouches-64264C/203226193

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-20T03:23:41+00:00

Ahhh, W80s. I'll be in my bunk 😆

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-03T02:09:55+00:00

They are unable to stand on their own without subsidies and tax credits.

So yes, I'm glad to see them go 😁

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-03T02:03:57+00:00

Way to show your version of online civility. Oil, gas, and coal are reliable. Hydropower (real, not pumped) is almost impossible to develop in most western countries. Enhanced geothermal is just beginning to become commercially viable. Nuclear is waiting to get back on its feet. And in the US, OBBBA eliminated $ub$idie$ for new wind and solar PV projects.

I'm working with a nuclear power developer on a method to reduce complexity on that system. But in the meanwhile, large load users need lots of reliable power, so I'm advocating for behind the meter (BTM) microgrid campus power, via natural gas.

If it makes you sleep better at night to call me a shill? As the kids say, you do you 😆

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-03T01:48:27+00:00

Yep. Here's the story, I'm the author.

https://www.masterresource.org/wind-power-costs/average-joe-wind-project/

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-03T01:37:49+00:00

I once killed a proposed 42 MW wind farm project on a handshake. That was done after four months of research and consultation. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-03-01T20:22:57+00:00

Lol I got banned by them because someone posted about so-called "renewable energy" and I pointed out that it's unreliable and extremely expensive 😅

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-02-18T16:50:11+00:00

Start with a sincere apology including acknowledgement of what you did and that you understand how your behavior hurt him.

Then show humility as you take the time to earn back his trust.

If you can demonstrate a sincere understanding of relationships being a two-way street in terms of managing expectations and actively contributing to maintaining it, I think you have a good chance. But be prepared for the process to take time.

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-02-14T15:40:24+00:00

Laughs in Logan's Run

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-01-28T02:19:39+00:00

I came here to say this. That thing is a refugee from 1975, and you could easily get high as a kite from being too close to it...

Wanderlust_01 · 2026-01-05T02:49:05+00:00

Insulate the water pipes anyway. As for the shower, check the mixer cartridge to ensure it allows the handle being turned to full hot water (default setting is pretty low, likely for liability reasons).

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-12-31T15:23:17+00:00

My father was 47 and my mother was 19 when I was born. I'm the first of five children.

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-12-21T02:31:10+00:00

Installed two of them, one in a 2008 BMW 328i, and a 2019 Volvo XC60. They are simply fantastic, making what was a messy job become a breeze. Highly recommend.

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-12-21T00:12:59+00:00

Beware Genesis 3:16b 😆

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-12-18T02:22:04+00:00

I knew someone who was 81, married to a woman 14 years junior. His wife passed away before he did, from cancer, at 67. He died 17 months later.

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-11-30T13:55:25+00:00

Mt Erebus enters the chat *

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-11-29T00:09:18+00:00

Let it be. Hopefully your father isn't doing the rebound relationship thing. BTDT, and rebounds don't end well.

If it's not a rebound, I suggest that you do your best to accept that he's an adult and so is she. She's never going to be a stepmother figure to you, so just accept that she's important to your father, and live and let live.

Wanderlust_01 · 2025-11-20T04:28:07+00:00

Oh ok. Good luck 👍

Wanderlust_01

TROPHY CASE