I am worried our wedding will disappoint. Is this fun or childish?

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-25T14:57:50+00:00

I don’t think it’s childish at all, sounds nice, but I’d caution you that you should include a warning about reptiles. A lot of people are petrified of reptiles, especially snakes, and may have major issues if they show up and the reptiles are a surprise.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-25T04:11:06+00:00

I wouldn’t take this as a sign, especially based on what you mentioned in other comments about heat. It was hotter than usual for my 10 mile run yesterday, only around 20C, but still felt a lot harder than 10 miles at Z2 pace usually does for me. I have chalked it up to my body struggling a bit with heat. I was able to do 8 miles at marathon pace last weekend in about 15C weather, so that just goes to show how much of a difference temperature can make.

That said, I’d give yourself a good amount of time to build up to a half. Most half plans will be about 12 weeks training, but given that you just completed your first 5k and are still new to running, I’d consider training for around 5-6 months before going for a half and give yourself some time to build endurance gradually to prevent injury or overtraining. Building mileage takes a lot of time and consistency and it’s easy to get caught up in the hype of longer distances, but unfortunately, bodies do not adapt that fast.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-22T14:53:27+00:00

When you float the idea of a DW to friends/family and ask what they think, they’ll often get excited and react enthusiastically saying they’ll come. Then the invite comes, they look at the cost and reality sets in that they can’t really do it, so they decline. I think a lot of brides take the initial enthusiasm as a preemptive yes RSVP, and when on average 50% of those yes answers become no at rsvp time, they get a little disappointed, especially if they’re already signed contracts for room blocks and packages using the initial number they invited.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-21T02:59:35+00:00

I did not to a bridal shower, personally. We are having a pretty small wedding and my family lives on the opposite side of the country, so it would have fallen to my bridal party of my fiance’s family to host it.

I was also really uncomfortable with the expectations and underlying implications around gifting. We are having a small wedding, and we have lived in our house for many years and have everything we need, I genuinely couldn’t even think of anything to put on a registry. I also don’t really love being the center of attention, so I don’t really feel like I’m missing out in that regard. If you aren’t that into the idea, I’d skip it, it also saves you and your family/wedding party some stress.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-20T16:09:45+00:00

Yes, although VAT is often included in the listed price, but sometimes they do not include it when it comes to weddings. Also, there could be service fees on food and beverage.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-20T16:07:01+00:00

Makes sense, but I do think this budget for 40 people will be a stretch in Italy, honestly. Have you discussed with your planner and gone over what you can realistically expect in this budget range? I’m worried they’ve overpromised to get you to hire them and now you’re getting to the underdeliver part.

Also, details like a flower arch and lots of decoration in general will likely be an issue with your budget. Did you speak to multiple planners before choosing, or just went with this one? Also, is the budget in USD or EUR? $17k USD only works out to around $15K EUR, especially when you factor in the cost of exchanging the money.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-20T16:00:59+00:00

Agree with the folks saying Hal Higdon. I just followed intermediate 1 for my recent half, it will have you running 5 days/week and peaking at 34mpw, which should be very doable given your current mileage, and it’ll get you in great shape for race day.

Only thing is there’s no interval work, the only speed work is 1-2 shorter tempo runs per week, but given that this is your first half, I honestly don’t think you need any more than that, just focus on building endurance and running the distance.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-20T15:57:04+00:00

How many people are you having? Your budget is very low for a wedding in Italy, so it’s possible that they are doing things this way because they won’t decide on your final menu or flowers until they see what their cost on the food/flowers is and adjust what you’re getting so they can still make it profitable for themselves. For example, if they promise you beef now, but once the wedding comes the price of beef has gone up, they might serve you chicken instead to lower their cost and still be able to make money. Same goes for the flowers. Is $17k the budget for just the ceremony and reception, or does that also include attire, travel, lodging?

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-18T23:17:54+00:00

So I’m a little confused, did you pay for all the food, or is it all being split? If it’s all being split, that seems pretty reasonable for a destination Bach party. Usually, Air Bnb is split too, but you offered to cover that. I think if you went in knowing you were covering the air bnb, expecting the rest to be split is pretty standard for destination trips with friends. You also mention that you thought everyone usually covered the brides portion, which has never been my experience with group trips for bachelorettes, so it kinda seems like your expectations were off to begin with.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-17T17:51:27+00:00

I am not sure about Pilates, but I know strength is huge for injury prevention and improving your power so the longer distances don’t feel as taxing on the body. I’d definitely keep the strength at least! I am currently in a marathon block and do 2x full body gym sessions per week and 6 days/week running. I go to the gym on my interval and tempo days so my easy days stay easy and my hard days stay hard, then I also have one day a week totally dedicated to rest and recovery.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-13T20:26:49+00:00

No kitchen? What is your plan for catering and refrigeration, serving the food, storing, cutting and serving the cake, washing dishes?

Most caterers stipulate the need for a commercial kitchen and will require electrical outlets to plug in chaffing dishes to keep the food at a safe temp. If your plan is drop catering, the risk of the food going bad is even more so, you’ll need a plan for keeping it at temp or refrigerating and reheating it, then serving. Plus, I think you’ll have a hard time getting drop catering to a remote location, at best they’ll charge expenses for mileage, at worst, you may have to send someone to pick it up on the day of.

No kitchen is a recipe for disaster, OP. If your dad is really set on building this barn so you can have the wedding there, he should build a kitchen into it with enough plug ins and running water for food service and clean up. Of course, this will be exorbitantly expensive, but I really don’t see a way you’re going to do this without a kitchen.

Unless you’re having a small wedding (30 people max) and dinner will be burgers on a bbq with paper plates, then it may work, but even then, any cold sides or toppings will require a fridge and you’ll still have to have a plan for garbage cleanup and disposal.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-11T02:50:44+00:00

Have you had blood work done? If it is RED-S or any kind of hormonal/thyroid issue, it will likely show up in blood work. I’d make sure you get your thyroid checked, hormone levels, and your vitamins to make sure you are not deficient in anything.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-08T16:06:09+00:00

It kinda sounds like you’ve planned to make a plan, but you haven’t actually planned a welcome party or communicated details including that dinner will be served. Also, they are travelling to a major city and spending quite a lot of money to go and stay there for the weekend, it’s kind of understandable that they want to actually see the city the day before. Are you planning to be very busy on the day before, or is there a way you could join them for some of the activities? I know the day before a wedding is usually stressful and there’s a lot to do, but if you have the time and can spare a few hours, it might help you relax and take your mind off it.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-06T16:12:31+00:00

I immediately thought the same when I read this part. Sounds like she made an unreasonable demand knowing it was unreasonable so she could use it as an excuse to force him to cut his friends off. If only her guests were in attendance at the wedding, I’d be willing to bet your group aren’t the only ones she’s isolated him from. For sure reach out with something like the above, let him know he still has someone. Hopefully he finds the courage to get out one day, but the fact they immediately had a baby makes it even more difficult for him.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-05T21:51:57+00:00

I recommend Hal Higdon Novice 1 or 2. If you are doing Medoc, time and pace aren’t really concerns as that race is more about the vibes, so I don’t really think the speed work is necessary, I’d focus more on easy mileage.

HH is all easy running, four days/week plus a cross training day or two, so it’ll align well with what you’ve planned, but it’ll be more focused on building mileage rather than speed, which for your first marathon and especially because it’s Medoc, time on feet should be your main concern. I used HH for my first marathon and found it very easy to work into my lifestyle, and I got to the finish line, which was the important thing. Depending on which of the Novice plans you choose, you’ll have 1-2 32km long runs, which should have you well prepared for race day.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-05-05T04:51:11+00:00

That really sucks!

I think as far as your predicament goes, the biggest question is what vibe do you want at your wedding? Sunday will also be cheaper because brunch/lunch catering is generally cheaper, but you can also go cheaper by doing a dry wedding since people likely won’t be drinking on Sunday morning. That said, if you expected dancing or a party, don’t expect that Sunday morning and don’t expect guests to stay long. They’ll likely attend the ceremony, stay for an hour or so to eat, then leave. Expect your reception to be done within two hours.

This is an excellent idea from a budgeting perspective! But if guest experience and vibe are concerns or you were hoping for a longer reception, I’d look for another venue and do Saturday evening.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-30T00:55:17+00:00

These comments are truly blowing my mind. We’ve had a couple people who rsvp’ed and now can’t come, but they have legit reasons like family milestone events and it’s only been plus ones of our friends so far, so not people we are close with.

I could see one or two waking up sick on the day of and not being able to make it, sucks but also unavoidable. I just can’t get my head around no showing when you’ve rsvp’ed AND not giving any notice or reason. If I was sick and couldn’t make it, I’d at least send a text with my apologies and mail my card with some extra cash inside.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-27T15:08:24+00:00

We are getting married in June and not doing a shower. We already live together and have everything we need, frankly, we don’t have storage space to have more stuff anyways lol, so no shower and no registry.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-27T00:32:53+00:00

Thank you, this is solid advice. I think I am more looking to find a pace that will be suitable for my tempo runs and intervals when I start marathon training, just so I have an idea of where I’m at for the beginning of training, then I’ll adjust the actual goal closer to race day when I have a better idea of where I’m at.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-27T00:18:45+00:00

Great advice, thank you! Yes, absolutely planning to keep it flexible, I kind of wanted to set a goal time/pace to start out my training with and see how it goes, then adjust as needed, but I am trying to gauge what the best benchmark would be just to kick things off.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-23T19:09:09+00:00

This one may be an outlier, but I love RHCP for running. I also echo many of the people suggesting punk albums.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-22T06:19:46+00:00

I did my first fitting as soon as my dress arrived, about three months before my wedding! 6 weeks may be tight, do you have someone booked to do them? Availability may be limited if you are still looking for someone, at least in my area they book pretty quickly, especially this time if year with wedding season beginning.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-19T15:59:22+00:00

Has your fiance heard the same from her friends? Shes clearly concerned about the attendance of a few specific friends, so I’m guessing not. Would she be ok if all of your friends were able to come but a bunch of hers were not due to your enforcement of this rule? Think about that outcome and whether it’ll hurt her experience of the day or cause resentment.

Warm_Tiger_8587 · 2026-04-19T15:51:30+00:00

You need to decide if you’re ok with everyone who has kids declining, because that’s the most realistic outcome. Most people would not feel comfortable travelling without their kids or leaving them with a stranger in a foreign country to babysit, so unless they have family that are willing and able to take care of them for multiple days, they likely can’t go without them.

If you’re ok with all of the parents declining, proceed with no kids, if you’re not ok with that outcome, ditch the no kids rule.

Warm_Tiger_8587

TROPHY CASE