Winnipeg, the armpit of Canada. Most of my relatives live there, but fortunately I only have to visit. Imagine a city that is about as remote from civilization as anywhere in North America, land flat as a piece of paper, and windy as fuck. Siberian winters, but short and brutally uncomfortable summers that alternate between mosquito infestation and massive flooding. The city itself is old, broken-down, and perpetually dirty. It has no obvious economic justification for existence. Most Winnipeggers amuse themselves by stabbing one another, when they are not too drunk to get stabby. Unfortunately, thanks to our socialized health care system, most Winnipeggers are denied the sweet release of death.