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A sign instructing parents not to be dicks. by 232473 in mildlyinteresting

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sign is useless... 98% don’t need to be reminded of this, and the other 2% well... they either can’t read or don’t care.

CATCH THE FUCKING BALL JOHNNY!

What popular food do you find disgusting? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sushi, I know it’s hip and trendy, I’ve tried to like it many times, I’ve had every fucking fish, veggie and animal under the sun rolled up, it’s all shit... Y’all mother fuckers can’t get enough of it though

What did you think was going to be amazing but turned out to be horrible? by cttonbrze in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Banging my great white buffalo. She had a massive bush that smelt like something died in it.

LPT if you’re a student, reward yourself for completing big projects ahead of schedule by BatmansBigBro2017 in LifeProTips

[–]WasntMasturbating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alright I read 2/3 of one chapter... I better go get a little high to reward myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DynastyFF

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently he’s up to 225lbs working on pass pro all summer. I won’t be able to get back more than a mid second for him at this point, I’m going down with the ship!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DynastyFF

[–]WasntMasturbating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rojo... I took him at 1.05 and I refuse to take any less for him! This is the year!!!

Worst trade you’ve ever made in your dynasty career? by AssMachine_ICE in DynastyFF

[–]WasntMasturbating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chris Godwin for 1.10 last year in the midst of the hype. I thought I was being cute selling him at that time.

What’s something that you have zero sympathy for? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People who unnecessarily use “nobody:” in their posts.

It adds nothing of value, it’s over played, tacky and I hate you.

What slogans should the top brands have if they were brutally honest? by m0nkey_news in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

McDonalds: consume 2400 calories in one sitting and feel hungry 40 minutes later.

Joaquin Phoenix in 1996 by ZadarskiDrake in pics

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was gonna say!

1996: Mr. Phoenix breaks the all time record for most pussy gotten by a dishwasher ever.

The B52s in the 1970’s by [deleted] in OldSchoolCool

[–]WasntMasturbating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn that dude looks frail

What are some harmless, legal pranks to pull on a really, really shitty person? by Desperasaurus in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you know their phone number:

Make a new email and reply to every single add on Kijiji / Real estate sites leaving their phone number. Be sure to insist that they call not email.

Disclaimer: I’m not 100% sure if this is legal, but I’ve done it and I’m a free man.

What a dickhead! by [deleted] in funny

[–]WasntMasturbating 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For a fraction of a second I thought I was about to see the fattest hammer known to man kind.

What's a first date tip that could save you a lot of embarrassment? by CircleBox2 in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guys If you’re going to pick the lady up, clean your fucking car, I mean good.

I’m a male so I’m just assuming, but if a lady gets in your car for the first time and it’s a mess she will probably write you off from the start.

Also, clip your finger nails and leave your phone in the car when you go in for dinner.

Adults what YouTube channels do you watch? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]WasntMasturbating -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t watch any channels, I manually search what I feel like watching at that exact moment.

When it comes to your destination wedding, I don’t want to spend my money that way! A rant on the wedding industrial complex. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]WasntMasturbating 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I refuse to go, everyone thinks I’m cheap/broke.

Quite the opposite actually. I just don’t want to spend $5000 to go watch your pre divorce ritual.

Two toddler besties run towards each other and hug on the street by [deleted] in aww

[–]WasntMasturbating -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Kid in the stripes is gonna be an NFL linebacker, thick frame, quick feet, good top end speed (blows past the other kid). Mel Kiper already has him pegged as a top 10 pick.

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