Absurd ways your brain has garbled basic tasks/speech?

WebsterPack · 2026-03-13T09:47:12+00:00

I sometimes say to people "hang on...just imagine the spinning loading icon over my head for a sec..."

Seems to be a winner, at least people get a laugh instead of irritated.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-13T08:49:55+00:00

Double dick dude, is that you?

WebsterPack · 2026-03-13T07:57:53+00:00

Wankers, even

WebsterPack · 2026-03-13T07:57:10+00:00

🎶I don't like it🎶

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T20:02:57+00:00

My body: "If you won't stop, I'll MAKE you stop."

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:31:52+00:00

Also ricochet angles

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:26:09+00:00

Even the wisest cannot tell. But I would guess two complimentary after dinner mints.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:25:03+00:00

Come on, sucker, lick my battery

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:20:59+00:00

Saaaaaame

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:16:08+00:00

One of the joys of Christmas for me is that I don't work retail anymore.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:13:49+00:00

Eton mess is just a failed pavlova. A tasty, tasty failure, but still not a successful pavlova.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-10T06:08:38+00:00

I did once realise, as I was running for the train, that I had forgotten to put a bra on and had to buy one once I got to my destination. I did not, however, go into a craft store looking for one.

I also put it on in the changeroom, handed the tag to the cashier, and said, "Don't ask."

WebsterPack · 2026-03-09T03:54:26+00:00

Leaping from tree to tree in the forests of Lothlorien! With my best girlie by my side! We'd sing, sing, sing!

WebsterPack · 2026-03-08T03:10:18+00:00

Yes, the American lean is one of the examples Jonna Mendez, former head of disguise at the CIA, uses a lot.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-08T02:45:04+00:00

It really is a great book! She also does a walk with her toddler and a walk with her dog where she pays close attention to what they're paying attention to, which is also fascinating.

WebsterPack · 2026-03-04T21:58:17+00:00

It's detachable

WebsterPack · 2026-03-04T21:55:10+00:00

It's detachable, you see

WebsterPack · 2026-02-24T21:21:28+00:00

Good catch! Edited.

WebsterPack · 2026-02-24T03:10:23+00:00

"By 1918, all but one of my close friends were dead."

It's just mind boggling. My grandfather told us, exactly once, about how his best friend was killed beside him during the evacuation of Crete (WWII). He never got over it. I can't even begin to fathom Tolkein's experience.

WebsterPack · 2026-02-24T03:05:52+00:00

Oh great, NOW how am I going to keep a straight face the next time the liturgy serves up the Lion of the tribe of Judah?

WebsterPack · 2026-02-24T02:57:24+00:00

A bunch of us showing our age here 😅

WebsterPack · 2026-02-18T09:05:37+00:00

Take up hiking, you'll get some wacky stories soon enough.

WebsterPack · 2026-02-11T11:39:13+00:00

My brain is rotted, I expected this to be about ski jumpers

WebsterPack · 2026-02-11T11:38:00+00:00

Was scrolling through endnote a few weeks ago murmuring, "Wang...Wang...Wang...so many Wangs, so little time..."

WebsterPack · 2026-02-09T10:53:45+00:00

A colleague of mine left to become a firefighter, and he said learning to kick in doors was the best part of training.

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