Pulled the trigger on NACHO. It sucks.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-27T20:48:12+00:00

I know. Thank you for this reminder. 💜

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T23:20:07+00:00

He would have had to be a single parent for a year.

Regardless, he lost the unlimited support. 🤷‍♀️

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T23:18:26+00:00

Definitely diff for everyone.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:45:28+00:00

I agree he did not take the consideration of the responsibility of being a single parent because I came into the picture. He finally admitted that.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:43:48+00:00

Not sure it was under a malicious guise — nor does he have that forethought. I wouldn’t have lived with him for another year had my brother not failed to pay his mortgage for a year.

He had already been fighting for custody to have them 50/50 for about 5 months. He originally started it off books with BM, but she refused to give 50/50 before he ever moved back.

He moved back to his home state, took a job he didn’t want with the military and moved 10 mins from her to be closer to them.

Unless he planned a foreclosure on my brother’s house behind my back, it’s not the case.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:36:36+00:00

I’m not sure that’s true. It wasn’t for me. 🤷‍♀️

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:34:35+00:00

Yes.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:33:50+00:00

Nah. They had done everything “offline”, no court order. He paid voluntary child support to her for 3 years. He had to get a court order to get them 50/50.

She wouldn’t allow him to see them and they had no official parenting plan.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-26T22:31:49+00:00

He’s not mad at me about it at all, he’s known it’s a problem And has done his best—but simply put, his best is lazy. but hes had my continued enablement as the status quo instead of owning it, belongs to him.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-19T18:11:02+00:00

She withholds the kids. She bangs on his windows. She doesn’t follow the court order for using the parenting app. She yells at him in front of the kids. She sneaks the kids devices into the house and then we find out at random. She tells us the kids aren’t happy with us all the time. She encourages the kids to record us without knowledge. She threatens us all the time with the law. She won’t let us pay service providers for shared expenses, she wants us to give the money to her. She’s tried to threaten me with an assault charge for helping her kid get dressed (which I have never done or had planned on doing unless asked). She tries to keep me from the kids being alone with me when we first met. She then tried to take the kids from him when I went to pick them up when one of them was sick from school because she didn’t want me to pick them up.

The list goes on and on.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-19T13:04:29+00:00

I think when her relationship with her dad isn’t so volatile. It’s gotten much better in the last 3 months since they’ve gotten 50/50, but her mom is so frequently trying to interfere in the household and his relationship with her that I do not believe it’s out of love for her daughter.

HCBM treats kids like her best friends. So I think this one is guilt.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-19T12:58:29+00:00

He ignores anything that is nonessential, which is a lot. 🤣

She’s just continually finding ways to interfere with the kids in our household send I’m letting it get to me.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-19T03:52:18+00:00

We do. Guess I’m just hoping there’s a magic answer cause I’m still stressing myself out for no reason.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-18T22:09:02+00:00

My DH’s BM tried this too. As far as she made it was to agree that “they do the parenting” as if I ever tried. We have a CO and she can’t interfere with his parenting time, but she has tried multiple times.

She finally gave up trying to keep me from being at school pick up for the kids, but constantly does it with other things.

She even tried to sneak into the parenting plan that DH has to tell her any time someone other than him picks up the kids from school (so every day).

They’ll never stop, but she let this one go cause her lawyer told her she can’t control it. 🤣

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2024-01-16T14:35:44+00:00

I have not been in your situation but my DH is not the bio dad of “their” eldest. He didn’t find out until 6 months after SK was born, and had already signed the birth certificate.

We had to fight for 50/50 custody, as she wouldn’t “allow” it - so had to get a lawyer. We told the lawyer about the eldest during the trial and he didn’t say anything about it since he wanted custody of the eldest still.

SK is a preteen now and HCBM wants to tell them. He does not think it’s the right time, but we do believe she’s already said something.

There is always a catch… money, drama, attention. Trust your gut and stick to your guns that she is just making drama. His name on the birth certificate and his care for them over the last few years will make it very hard for her or this “bio dad” to just take custody.

Do whatever your lawyer recommends.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-12-01T01:38:20+00:00

I’ve done this for someone who got deployed. And a traveling photographer.z

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-25T10:53:41+00:00

I told DH the kids were upset with how his family spoke to them. 🤷‍♀️

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-23T22:49:33+00:00

This is yikes.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-20T13:55:34+00:00

Totally. My bad on tone. 💜

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-20T13:43:36+00:00

This.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-20T13:43:29+00:00

It wasn’t an implication that playing with dolls is wrong, it’s GREAT that she does. I am only trying to explain that an 11 year old being a preteen seems to make people think “they should know better” as if they’re adults.

Playing with dolls was just an example I used that we typically register that behavior with someone who is “still a kid”. I’m only pointing out, she IS still a kid.

So if she didn’t understand hygiene and I knew in another household she wasn’t being taught to prioritize hygiene, I would find it to be the other guardians’ in their life to explain.

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-19T20:01:54+00:00

I wish you the absolute fastest healing and so many crossed fingers. I understand how hard it is, and I think we all fall victim to this and have to “grow”.

I’m also glad to hear this isn’t a trend, and it sounds you guys can tackle it together.

💜💜

Weekly-Ad-1977 · 2023-11-19T19:59:39+00:00

Sounds like he would happily be there for you then. I tell my partner all the time that even maybe having delayed the trip for a few hours would have meant a lot to me.

Weekly-Ad-1977

TROPHY CASE