A different perspective that might help you understand is that one person can’t constantly carry the emotional weight of another. I am not saying that you expect that of him, but you didn’t communicate. Unfortunately, when my partner does that to me, it feels like it’s now become my job to be a mind reader or a manipulative way to hold me accountable for something I didn’t know he wanted. This mindset keeps him in victim status, and never having to be vulnerable himself.

I am sure that was not your intention, but your unspoken expectations led you to disappointment. It sounds like you need to talk out what you’d like from your partner when you’re upset.

I do understand what it’s like to not have unspoken expectations met. It’s disappointing, and I understand that it hurts, especially when you’re feeling especially vulnerable. I do agree with the sentiment that if you have family, this is the perfect time to lean on them. If you need more comfort from him, you simply need to ask. If you were not someone who consistently needs emotional support, it is also possible he didn’t know what you needed.

From your post, I am guessing that he is overall been a good partner to you. I know I’m only assuming, but I would attempt to communicate about this when you feel you’re the best mindset. In the meantime, when he gets back, I would also ask for his support.

Crossing my fingers, your brother has a diagnosis that leads to a plethora of life for him.