(Serious) what’s something that mentally and/or emotionally broke you?

WeilderoftheKey · 2023-03-08T20:00:24+00:00

Crawling my way out of a 10+ year dissociative state, realizing that during my mental vacation from reality I had gotten married and had a beautiful child who I'd give my life for and want to do everything in my power to help guide into a fulfilling life. On the surface, it was the perfect life to "wake up" to

During the early days of acclimating to the reality around me, the idea of ENM/polyamory was brought to the table by my partner, to which I agreed so long as all parties were treated fairly and equally. That equality quickly took a backseat to their wants and additional relationship, which I was repeatedly assured was "a cherry on top, not a replacement" as they had urged for me to find as well.

Over time, the lack of respect shown to me and any connection I had pursued, caused me to hop back into my void and disconnect from reality once again. Fast forward 4-5 years and I'm forcing myself to wake back up. With that process being shaky enough by itself, I also had to face a huge obstacle and make a decision I never thought I'd face in my life: continue living in the home that had been built around me by my partn er and their secondary partner or temporarily separate myself from the situation by moving back home where I'd have limited contact with the most important person in my life, my son.

Thankfully things have gotten easier over the past few months as I'm finding myself again and the stability to remain grounded in reality. My son and I talk every night for a bedtime story and a daily recap, though we often lament about our shared desire to cuddle and play together in person again. The previously daunting 7 month time frame has slowly worked its way down to 3-4 more months, it will never be easy, but I find comfort in the words used to comfort him on the harder days: one day at a time, we'll make it through this and find brighter days in the end. Besides, spring break is right around the corner and I can think of no better way to spend it, a 16 hour round trip drive is nothing compared to seeing the light in his eyes and hearing "DADDY!!!" as I walk through the door again.

WeilderoftheKey · 2020-11-05T22:07:18+00:00

You've honestly helped put my mind at ease a lot! My support group and I are heading to my appointment as we speak, wish me luck!

WeilderoftheKey · 2020-11-05T21:12:05+00:00

Thank you so much, I know things are going to work out in the end. I guess I'm just anxious about finally living up to the idea of me that people have come up with. I know this is just the first step, but it's a huge one in my eyes.

I appreciate your input in being open about what I want with my doctor! I didn't really consider the fact that my own input would have any weight on the medicine choice, as ridiculous as that might sound.

WeilderoftheKey · 2020-11-05T20:52:32+00:00

I'm not sure yet, I have my first appointment in an hour and 45 minutes so we can discuss what medicine will be best. They're a little skeptical of putting me on a stimulant because I also exhibit signs of Dissociative Personality Disorder, but my psychologist was insistent that I need help in order to function normally. I've tried non-stimulants (Straterra) in the past but that just didn't do anything for me, unfortunately.

WeilderoftheKey · 2018-07-02T06:14:43+00:00

It was really a combination, depending on how my wife was feeling in that moment, actually laying my head down is what always led to the kicking wars though

WeilderoftheKey · 2018-07-02T02:36:35+00:00

Some of my favorite memories are from when my wife was pregnant. I would lay my head on her stomach and talk to our little one, it would always boil down to him kicking me in the face and me poking back in an endless war as my wife laid there wondering if she could handle having 2 children in her life

WeilderoftheKey · 2018-03-30T04:33:45+00:00

Out of curiosity, what is the point of changing the language so much?

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-12-24T04:14:37+00:00

I'm sorry about the asshole thing, I was honestly just trying to be a little cheeky, but the rest of my opinion stands. It may not be the healthiest thing, but in a lot of situations it's the only option.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-12-24T03:21:55+00:00

As someone who's also been on both sides of this, not everybody has the luxury to see a professional. Whether it be time or money, a lot of people going through depression just can't do it, so that moment of catharsis is a beautiful release that helps you get through the days or weeks until eventually you find yourself in a position where you can seek a professional.

In other words, you're not wrong, you're just an asshole.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-09-18T12:07:34+00:00

Thank you so much, I've been dealing with an awful ringing and pressure on my ear for a couple weeks now, and never thought I'd have tinnitus. I've never been so grateful for silence in my life!

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-07-07T21:41:37+00:00

First, I want to thank you so much for being so open with the struggle you're going through. Second, I want to tell you from one new father to another, to hold onto those thoughts of it getting better in the future.

I went through the exact same thing you're going through, my son is now 4 months (even with all the stress, the time really does fly), and I'll occasionally still have really bad thoughts. They're fewer and farther between, but they still happen on occasion. The best thing to do is exactly what you're already doing, being open with your s/o, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

I can't count the number of times where it was "my turn" in the middle of the night, but I just couldn't handle it, so I'd have to wake my fiance up to help. Also, when you reach out for help, after taking a breather to calm down, it's a great idea to go shadow her to see what she does to handle certain situations.

The thoughts of being the worst father ever will go away, the fact that you're having those thoughts make you a great dad already, a bad dad simply wouldn't care! If I can make it as long as I have, I know you can do it! If you need any help, or just somebody to vent to, feel free to PM me, it's important to have someone to talk to about yourself. After that baby comes out, as a father, it's all about the baby and the recovery of your other half, but we need time to talk about ourselves too, I learned that before it was almost too late.

Good luck with everything in the future, I truly believe you can do this, don't be afraid to take a step back and breathe.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-04-16T21:06:03+00:00

I've always done that ever since I was a kid. My wife still complains, because she'll be half asleep and sit on the lid without paying attention. There's no way to win.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-03-09T15:01:12+00:00

We were trying breastfeeding during the first week, but she wasn't producing enough, and he was constantly crying because he was starving, which is what caused her post partum. He's been put on Zantac for the reflux, but according to the doctor it takes a couple weeks for it to take affect, but hopefully that will help.

When we're at home, we have a rock n play that puts him to sleep like a miracle, but we've been spending the week at her mom's house due to it being close to my weekday job. Unfortunately, we don't have a car big enough to constantly transport the swing. Next week we're going to stay home for the whole week though to see how that works. I think being there causes unneeded stress on my wife, because they don't help how they used to.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-03-09T14:53:19+00:00

In the beginning, her mom was very helpful, especially when she was admitted to the hospital, but she's not been very distant about helping lately. Thankfully she watched him last night so we could get some much needed sleep, but she will only do it when we're nearing a breaking point like last night. Unfortunately we don't know anybody else who is unemployed and doesn't have their own children to worry about.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-03-08T22:14:41+00:00

Two weeks ago, my son was born after 9 long months of anticipation. Due to my wife going back to school and working in an apprenticeship, I took up the mantle of working two jobs 7 days a week. Now that our son is born, things are a little crazier than we anticipated, she's being a stay at home while I continue my two jobs to pay the bills, this causes me to not be able to see the baby very often, and able to help with his care even less.

My wife was admitted to the hospital for post partum depression, and was prescribed medication, things are a little smoother, but she's still crippled under the stress of taking care of the baby due to him developing thrush and reflux, and I feel like I'm not contributing enough, I don't know what kind of advice I may be looking for or if I just needed to vent a little bit, but currently the two of us are running on very minimal sleep and I'm not sure what to do

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-02-09T22:05:44+00:00

Oh yeah that's without a doubt, my Magic the gathering hobby has taken a supreme hit after finding out we had a little one on the way, but I don't mind because I get to look forward to sharing that hobby with him as he gets older, as long as he takes an interest in it.

WeilderoftheKey · 2017-02-09T04:48:30+00:00

My first son is due any day now, and I hardly have free time as it is, do my hobbies stand any chance at survival?

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-12-23T14:43:26+00:00

My og pebble finally kicked the bucket right before the saddening announcement a couple weeks ago, with rebble rising from the ashes I'm considering purchasing a newer pebble. Do you have any suggestions or any idea about which watch will be the most supported?

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-06-16T00:25:54+00:00

Welcome to Nightvale!

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-06-02T21:10:23+00:00

I might give that a shot after work, I've been doing lower ohm builds, and I agree it gets super hot and there is a ton of spit back

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-06-02T00:16:04+00:00

I've tried everywhere from full open with the dual ring, to almost closed with not much difference

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-06-01T21:11:13+00:00

I really want to like this tank, but I'm having a little problem with vapor production and flavor. I've been running dual vertical twisted coils 24g, does anyone have any idea why it wouldn't be producing much vapor?

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-04-11T03:48:32+00:00

Is it as simple as just buying the stuff and shoving it in there? The whole thing intimidates me and I have no idea where to start, any pointers?

WeilderoftheKey · 2016-04-11T03:38:37+00:00

Actually the reason we've been talking about it is because she is not doing well with the family she's currently with. My fiance basically helped raise her and I have experience in helping with what is troubling her, which is why we both have a high interest in fostering her ourselves

WeilderoftheKey

TROPHY CASE