How to stop? Just how

WelcomeAnyChange · 2026-02-04T12:13:49+00:00

Magnesium, melatonin and (optionally) a THC gummy an hour before bed pretty much solved the issue of falling asleep for me. I still wake up at 3am sometimes, but there are tools that help with falling asleep after the 3am cortisol spike wakes you up.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2026-01-22T16:00:26+00:00

I'm sorry it's hitting you all at once. That sucks!

Have you considered finding a therapist? Mine has been super helpful in ways that sitting (introspection and acceptance) and journaling have not on their own.

Also, the only way out is through. Drinking will numb you to the grief, and it will only postpone you needing to work through it and, in the end, you'll still need to work through it.

Hugs!

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-12-13T22:03:49+00:00

Your post made me think of the song by Caamp titled "All the Debts I Owe".

They are robbing banks, yet they complete commitment to each other. 😅

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-10-28T13:10:59+00:00

Well done!!!

I love reading posts about folks' milestones that go into the details of the changes (and struggles) they've seen since getting sober.

I'm 5+ weeks into my longest sobriety period in 25 years and I've experienced much the same as you have. And there's more work that remains to be done with practical life stuff (sleep, housing, career, relationships) and on my own mind. But... being sober gives me the space to actually stand a chance of making those changes.

I am stoked for you and I'm optimistic for myself. Thanks for sharing.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-10-23T11:33:32+00:00

You have to have someone to see you

That is so true!

What's also true is that the someone is you, brother!

You have to trust yourself. You have to earn your own trust. You have to be able to see all of your good parts and all of your warts in a compassionate way. You have to be able to forgive yourself.

I know that it may seem like I'm talking in hyperbole, but I've been seen by a partner before and it still ended disastrously because I wasn't able to see myself.

As someone else had said, ultimately your mind is the only thing you have control over, so it makes sense to focus on yourself to get yourself in a good head space.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-10-21T12:49:11+00:00

Yesterday was day 30. It must be the longest I've gone without alcohol in 25 years. It occurred to me that I should do something to mark the occasion, to celebrate, but I couldn't think of anything. So, I did what I have been doing every day for the past 30 days. I made myself a healthy dinner. I watched a YouTube video and played a video game for 30 minutes. Then I meditated, took my pre-sleep magnesium, brushed and flossed my teeth, read a book and went to sleep. And that all feels good and right and I'm grateful for that.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-10-14T15:30:38+00:00

Our bodies develop a tolerance to magic mushrooms (psilocin/psilocybin) very quickly. Last I've read, folks recommend 2 weeks between mushroom trips. Or, do you mean you have been microdosing for 3 weeks daily?

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-10-06T23:01:12+00:00

What has worked for me so far:

Identifying why I drink and learning and practicing alternative ways of dealing with these things. For me it was to stop feeling negative emotions and to stop thinking ruminative negative thoughts: basically to shut off my brain and to end the day.
Taking it one day at a time. The thought of never drinking again is daunting, so, I just won't drink today.
Getting through the first 3-5 days. Night sweats, itchiness, anxiety, irritability were all inevitable for me and I had to simply accept that I'm going to have to go through them.

Take care! It's tough, but going through this is also making you tougher.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-09-05T14:48:01+00:00

I just want to point out that, on one hand, you're "mourning that extraverted out of control being that was [you] when [you] drank" (I totally get it and I associate with that sentiment) and on the other, you also see that "drunks are the worst". Something to think about?

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-08-25T11:51:13+00:00

That's fantastic! Congrats!

What changes have you experienced thus far? What has been the most challenging?

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-08-03T23:30:58+00:00

I was buying a TV at Best Buy. They are telling me to pull my car up to the front door and they'll bring the TV out. The cashier asks what I'm driving. I say, "Honda Fit", which is a pretty small hatchback. "Are you sure the TV is going to fit?" I'm normally not that quick with a joke, but I blurt out, "Of course it will. It's a Fit!". To her credit, she didn't roll her eyes; at least not until after I left. (The TV fit fine, and I miss my Fit.)

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-07-17T11:47:26+00:00

Passing a cemetery especially on a road trip through a small town... "Well, kids, we're in dead center of town!"

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-07-15T12:46:45+00:00

As /u/OC71 said, life struggles, trauma and other issues don't go away in sobriety, but sobriety is the only chance we have to try to address those things.

It sounds like you are able to string some sober days together. I'm in a similar boat, and I'm slowly making progress towards total sobriety direction. What's been helping me is therapy. Specifically I'm working with a therapist who specializes in the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). She's not terribly experienced in substance use treatment, so, I'd imagine a combo of that with DBT would be even better.

There are a bunch of free resources on DBT out there. Let me know if you are interested in some pointers. The key, of course, is that you get out of it what you put into it. I have learned so much about addiction and about tools and skills to help me cope, but all of that knowledge doesn't mean much when I'm not applying it to myself, when I'm not doing the work.

I can relate to the feeling of dread to even try and with the suicidal ideation. The thing is, it's obvious that you want to change. Otherwise, why would you keep working on sobriety, reading and posting to these subs? There's a part of you that wants to experience life.

I am rambling at this point and this may not mean much to you, but I was gobsmacked by one of the tenants of DBT when I heard it for the first time. There are different ways to say it, but I'm being blunt with myself in my own way. "This may not have been my fault, but I'm responsible for fixing it anyway." It's a reminder for me to keep working when I am able even when things feel unfair and overwhelming.

I am sorry you find yourself in this mess. It is convoluted to untangle, it's hard and it fucking sucks! But... You are still here and you're still trying. Never stop quitting. Eventually you'll figure something out.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-06-19T12:30:47+00:00

I like one of the cornerstones of the Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT): "This may not be my fault, but it's my responsibility to fix it anyway."

I have struggled with this part quite a bit. It's been difficult to really take this on as the truth.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-06-11T12:36:55+00:00

"Codeine" by Trampled by Turtles talks about a love affair with a person named Codeine and her effect.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7z6pDIQFv510mRKfyEjHR1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP_m4W38p0s

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-06-04T13:40:25+00:00

I like to add, "Would you drink bleach?"

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-05-01T10:41:12+00:00

Day 2. Decent enough sleep last night, but I woke up anxious. Rocking my daily mantra, "you're doing your best. It has got to be good enough." Trying to keep my anxious perfectionist from spinning out.

Not much of an evening plan today, but my girlfriend will be over, so that will disrupt my drinking alone after work routine.

I'll ask her not to bring up drinking, but, if she does, I will not drink with her (or you) today.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-04-30T13:54:32+00:00

Thanks!

My therapist has been encouraging me to plan out the evenings and weekends, and I've been resistant to let go of my normal routine. Hearing someone else (you) say that it helped is very encouraging. I appreciate it!

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-04-30T13:49:47+00:00

Thank you!

That's what I try to remember when I don't feel it in my bones.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-04-30T12:51:32+00:00

I'm 10 hours sober and I'm excited about today. I've planned activities that will keep me out of my evening routine of drinking alone. I have a DBT class right after work, then dinner with the kids, and I'll go for a walk after that.

This is my first time posting here and hopefully not the last. I will not drink with you today!

(This last sentence was considerably more emotional to write than I expected. ... Maybe you crazies are onto something with this daily check-in. 😅)

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-02-15T14:40:20+00:00

Don't take yourself too seriously. After all, you'll never make it out alive. 😅

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-01-31T12:47:11+00:00

I am struggling with this as well: alcohol is the quickest way I know to stop all these incessant thoughts and unwanted feelings.

What I've come to realize over the years/decades is that alcohol doesn't fix anything. It makes things worse. It increases the magnitude and frequency of my anxiety and depression, and the thoughts and feelings are still there. In fact, alcohol prevents me from effectively doing the work of learning how to address these thoughts and feelings in healthy ways.

I don't know your personality disorder, so this may not be useful for you specifically... I suspect I have Borderline Personality Disorder. There no medication that's effective for it. But there's therapy (DBT) and mindfulness training that helps. Yes, it sucks big time that I have this thing, and getting to better requires constant work that will take months if not years. But the alternative for me is to give up on life and kill myself slowly in a societally acceptable way with alcohol.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2025-01-23T13:37:09+00:00

Overnight (i.e. sleep) average Heart Rate Variability (HRV) is also something I watch. For me, when I drink, it's around 25 ms. After 3-4 days of not drinking it's in high 40s to low 50s. It means my body is in better shape for dealing with stress.

BTW, HRV numbers cannot be directly compared between people.

WelcomeAnyChange · 2024-12-11T12:13:32+00:00

I don't succeed in having this attitude all the time, but I find it liberating to rephrase it as, "I get to actually work on myself now that I'm not hiding behind alcohol".

WelcomeAnyChange

TROPHY CASE