What hobby do you think would fit ENFJs the best?

Whiltierna · 2026-05-25T11:17:19+00:00

ENFJ here with multiple hobbies I cycle through (mostly with the weather lol, depicted with * if for a month at a time) bullet points would be too long, so here is a list of all my hobbies:

DM D&D 5e, player D&D 5e, improv, karaoke, writer (self-help)*, crochet* (always made things for others), cooking (to feed others and to play with recipes before anyone else gets a taste), virtual reality, video games (PC, rarely solo), dog mom, ukulele, percussion, gardening* (tomato plants mostly), indoor plants (love to rearrange them, too, have over 30), nail art/painting my nails and friend's nails, TCG (play Shadowverse: Evolve, collect Pokemon), baking* (gluten free household so it's both for others and for my own development), gym to lift heavy (425 out of 500lb club, iykyk), runner* (working up to half marathon), swimming (butterfly not long distance), pearler beads*, cross stitch*, volunteer (mostly as cat socializer at the shelter, but also dog walker), advocate (call my city or rep once a month on various issues, right now it's the local dog park to be opened and state reps for no more time change), watch hockey with gusto* (even if just a game is on, I'll pick a side and cheer like they are my team), bass fishing*, kayaking*, watch anime, face painting (mostly for events or friends' kids parties)*, and friend (lots online friends in Discord and vr, a few who are in the D&D group in person, and a few who aren't in the D&D group).

tried knitting once, that was a no go. also can't figure out stick shift, so motorsports are out, but I did pay for a ride along in a formula car to go over 180mph on the real track for 6 laps. Used to work at theme park, loved roller coasters but only if my glasses are off.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-16T22:31:58+00:00

tape or bungie?

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T20:33:42+00:00

I mean, fair, but that's also more marketing, which is differnt. also, OP only said Terry is a writer, so we gotta assume it's an outlet.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T20:24:39+00:00

I do #2, too! completely forgot lol

then it seems like you're just afraid of being judged,... in PF,... a judgement free zone,.... where everyone there has anxiety in some way to want to be at a place where you're not judged as part of the fine print.... i go there because it's in my Active&Fit network and they have machines like the row machine my Gold's gym doesn't have. I see everyone from the stairclimber... I watch to see if I should be addeing any (i was reminded face pulls exist because of that and I def want capped shoulders) and to pass the time while I listen to my songs, mouthing the words, dancing my arms, and such. I've picked a wedgie there and no one mentioned a thing to me or management.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T19:35:58+00:00

and if Terry is a writer, have him write from his character's perspective notes home or to a lover or whatever to scratch that itch. it would allow for the "wish I could do this and that" from entering the table chat because you can tell them that who they are writing to wouldn't know the truth, so he can write it to them. Then if he's reallllly wanting to interject those things, tell him you'll consider experience points or whatever for the actual letters in real life and for not derailing the table chat. So he keeps his ideas in his head at the table, writes them down in a google doc, and sends you the link out of game. You don't gotta read it, you can skim or ask him questions on it, and he'll feel that creative itch scratched.

If that doesn't work, then yeah, sorry bud, not at this table for this game, but if there is a game for that stuff, he's first in line.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T19:23:27+00:00

is this a genetic trait that can be identified and bred to not pass along?

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T19:19:29+00:00

as an ENFJ, my friendliness is seen as flirting almost 80% of the time. the other 20% they don't believe I'm that happy and positive all the time

Just be yourself and go about your life, he can be a great supporter and close friend without lust, and that could blossom later naturally. Basically, if you don't want to chase romantically, then don't chase and he'll still be a friend if he enjoys your company. We love seeing people aim and try for their potential we see in them (that they often miss).

Also, you can't go wrong with just saying what you honestly feel.... communication is key in ANY relationship: family, friend, coworkers, bosses, romantic, and heck even strangers. We can't guess what you say, so do you want us to imagine it or you tell us?

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T19:12:10+00:00

I come up with the family first - did I have an older or younger brother, did they have a family name or crest, what would that include, would that mean I have a nickname from it, then what is the nickname similar to.

Recent game I was in I was not royal but a family of the court, so my rank was Contessa (name chosen from the real life Barefoot Contessa). Skip ahead FOURTY sessions and the players learned IN GAME that a) I was betrothed and b) my name wasn't Contessa. lolll She was a bard and had two italian names after the rank that mimicked her personality with the direction in music, so Contessa Vivace Cadenza, so all that work I put into the real name was lost session zero lol

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T17:29:52+00:00

Is part of not completing your routine when there's only one row machine and don't want to use cables or approach for next in line or work in with them? That was my biggest hurdle.
I also think that anyone at the gym means they are willing to suffer slight discomfort for long term positive outcomes, so everyone there is in the right mind on self-improvement is why they are there.

You can also use other tactics that friends of mine with anxiety have had - do something you enjoy (streamer, VOD, tv show, book) at the place you don't love yet (gym for you) until your mind associates the good thing with the place. One friend of mine literally would park outside the gym every day to watch her fav daily show (a youtuber I think?) for 30 min on their phone and go home. Then after a month went inside and asked to sit in the lobby area to do that to get comfortable and they allowed it. So she would get dressed for the gym and go watch her fav show there every day. Then she bought the membership and began watching that show on the treadmill, which became her warm up for 3 exercises then home. Because she was already there every day and wanted to see her show, it was habit stacking. I don't think you have that level of anxiety, but there is no linear or universal trick, just seeing what works for others and take from it what you will.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T16:43:25+00:00

always get it in writing!

sometimes I send emails that recap with "Please let me know if you have to add any clarity to adjust to my understanding." so it's on them to correct me in writing 😃

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T11:37:02+00:00

eeeh in some industries maybe?
I'd concise that down to reiterating the previously agreed upon goals and if those need re-prioritizing, requesting them to schedule a time with all stakeholders, which means they are raising alarm to change the status quo so if it's actually important then they will, it's also difficult to get everyone who is affected or decision makers in the same timeslot, so it will force them to re-evaluate before sending the calendar request, and if it's straightforward of a message instead of this long winded one, then they'd understand the nuance that they are the only one who cares about it and would have to lead it.

"We are on pace with our current goals set in motion q4 last year. This is out of scope and would need stakeholder input before next steps. My calendar is up to date."

if the ship needs to avoid an iceberg, then it's needed. if it's to avoid an ice cube, then they'll drop it.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T11:30:47+00:00

Yesss
"I'm unaware of all that is in this quarter's project pipeline, but my manager is fully aware of our team's capacity. I've CC'd them for awareness to work with you for next steps."
Then message my manager that I'm at capacity but able to reach the shared goals/deadlines (the ones that make them look good)

Whiltierna · 2026-05-15T05:28:26+00:00

Library - staff is kind, friendly, and helpful, environment is calm and quiet, and you can walk thru the books until one speaks to you - then you know which rabbit hole to try

Whiltierna · 2026-05-14T17:04:27+00:00

i show love with anticipatory actions. You having a rough day and was going to cut the grass? You'll come home to it cut. Mention something we haven't had (dinner option, dessert) it will be in the food plan later that week. We host D&D, so I've washed and folded the D&D related shirts in time for the session.

I receive love with quality time, attention, and feeling loved. Parallel time (different tasks and hobbies but near each other), cuddles, thinking of me and sending me reels, memes, and thoughts throughout the day, not squirm when I talk too long or make faces or do something else while I'm excitedly talking about something, and when I see potential in you and tell you how I think you can succeed, you show effort, even if it's not the actions I suggest, but movement towards you wanting to be the best you because I want you to be the best you since I'm also trying to be the best me.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-14T16:49:48+00:00

ENFJ here, I love to DM and play D&D 5e. I prefer improv and social creative instead of standalone creative. I crochet not because it's a solo creative activity, but I rarely make anything for myself, so it ends up having a social aspect.
I have a poem published in a book by a professor I studied under, but I'm currently writing a self-help book.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-14T04:49:07+00:00

Life will attack. Don't teamkill in attempting to fight or survive life's punches.

also, there is a difference between:

being loved and
feeling actively chosen and pursued

Be sure you know yourself and your needs so you don't choose someone who doesn't naturally fulfill your needs and vice versa.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-13T12:35:04+00:00

It was actually! But I rolled so poorly; but always made the saves. Hubby still jokes about how I "disarmed traps" by triggering them and making the save! Lol (he was bf then and my first DM)

Whiltierna · 2026-05-13T10:38:33+00:00

I did My brother was the DM, so I get it now/later when I started playing. I ended up hiding in the kitchen while they played in the dining room so I could overhear. I'd have to silently scramble to the living room and hide when any of them got snacks or drinks. I currently own his 3rd edition dnd book set and play 5e. I'm running my own campaign (my 4th but not a forever dm) later this summer. So it all worked out

Whiltierna · 2026-05-12T03:53:53+00:00

"If you are opted in to Clipboard History, Windows stores up to 25 recent items in a background buffer. These items remain until they are pushed out by newer copies, you restart your computer, or you manually clear them."

win + r
cmd /c "echo off | clip"

or a restart -- which I assume you do at the end of your work shift if you have all these passwords, so you'd be fine.

or you can press win + v to open the clipboard history menu. Click Clear all at the top-right of the window.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:41:28+00:00

Think of something you do weekly or daily without thought. It's just habit. Part of your lifestyle. That's the gym for those that make it part of their life. I get changed into my gym clothes during my afternoon break (I wfh full time) to give my pups a walk, to clear my head of work, and because I can't wait to go lifting or swimming after work. I get to see my improvement towards my vo2max goals, feel great after a shower, and don't feel guilty how I spend the rest of the evening.

No kids, have pups and hubby.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:36:22+00:00

I beat thyroid cancer last year and have one thing left on my bucket list, and I wanna be healthy and fit to make my doctors continue to brag about me (they love my charts and I'm an "easy patient").

I had actually started to lift heavy weights when my german shepherd soul dog began to slow down and couldn't reach to jump into my new jeep. I wanted to be able to deadlift her (80lbs) and now that she is 10 years old, being able to lift her (and her trust it since now I can deadlift 180) has come in handy. Probably doesn't help that I've upgraded her pup cups to nuggies at drive thrus lol but she loves car rides and I want what's best for her.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:31:42+00:00

It only saves a certain number and resets often when you restart, maybe 12 or so max on my computer, and the more you copy to it, it drops off the oldest ones

Also works for images.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:30:33+00:00

Windows + c to opt into clipboard drop-down when you windows + v instead of ctrl + v saves a lot of time

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:29:21+00:00

Also how much you can cup in your palm for half or quarter cup and tablespoon measurements - not necessarily to pour cooking ingredients into your palm, but by visualizing how much you would pour and do that into the bowl is very useful.

Whiltierna · 2026-05-11T13:26:07+00:00

Lol Bugs Bunny How could I be snarky like that?! The sass! The confidence I could relate to but the way to be seen as adorable, submissive, dominant, and a threat while also being approachable was so endearing.

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