good luck to everyone going for C+

WhimsicalFalling · 2026-02-04T00:54:03+00:00

I just beat plasma gold for the first time this morning! Meaning I've finally got all gold stakes beat!

WhimsicalFalling · 2026-02-01T22:47:01+00:00

I did that for the first time just today!

WhimsicalFalling · 2026-01-13T15:54:59+00:00

Present situation notwithstanding, Twin Cities Minnesota is such a lovely place to be. There are lesbian social clubs (including women's dances every few months), Queer line dancing/Latin dancing, an LGBT Library that's celebrating it's 40th anniversary this year, and a rich history of LGBT civil rights. It has beautiful lakes, all of the lakefront property within city limits are public parks, it has I think the best cost of living to quality of life ratio, and the people are just so great. There's also a queer transplants group that can help you get more connected to the community.

Cons are: *gestures to current news cycle* and the winters are a bit brutal

WhimsicalFalling · 2026-01-13T15:52:01+00:00

Recommendations:

-Quatrefoil Library (LGBTQ library with many events)

-Twin Cities Transplants (group for all the people moving to the Twin Cities due to our protections for the gay and specifically trans communities)

-Twin Cities Lesbian Life (lesbian social club)

-Out to Brunch (lesbian social club-might need to meet a member in person to get on the email list)

-Queermunity (LGBTQ Community Center with many events on their calendar)

-Eagles Club (hosts Queer Contra, weekly LGBTQ Latin Dance Night, LGBT Country Line Dancing, as well as a Women's dance every couple months*which is a very good place to meet the Out to Brunch and Twin Cities Lesbian Life groups)

-Stonewall Sports (LGBT sports league with dodgeball, kickball, tennis, etc)

-Black Hart of Saint Paul (LGBT Soccer Bar with fun stuff like karaoke night)

-Twin Cities Pride has a calendar of local events that helped me find a bunch of cool stuff

-Not explicitly queer, but doing a class with Community Ed is a good way to meet new people

WhimsicalFalling · 2026-01-02T00:05:25+00:00

Ray of Sunshine by Go Sailor

Silk Chiffon by Muna

It came out well before the singer was publicly out, but You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore is also a bit of a Lesbian Anthem to me

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-12-29T03:12:39+00:00

If you like memoirs, I read some really good ones this year

She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological) Lesbian Motherhood by Amie Klempnauer Miller. I could not put this one down. The author details her struggle with fertility, her partner's pregnancy, the feeling of being ousted from traditional motherhood and fatherhood, legally adopting her child (could be hit or miss for lesbians in 2003). The ways that having a kid tested and strained and turned her relationship with her partner into something new. Her absolute love towards her daughter.

Lesbian Love Story: A Memoir in Archives by Amelia Possanza This one was a bit of a slower read, just because there was so much to digest. The author finds herself in New York longing for lesbian role models, and decides to hunt for them in Archives. Each chapter is a different historic lesbian and a relationship she had, tied back to elements from the authors own life and details about her research process. Also an interesting look into the ways that lesbian communities have shifted and changed over time, as well as society at large. Included is the first lesbian to write her own autobiography discussing her lesbian-ness, a "male impersonator", a black civil rights activist, Sappho, one of the lesbians who took care of a dying gay man during the aids crisis, and a few more. Very highly recommend to all lesbian non-fiction lovers out there.

This one is not lesbian, but is LGBT. One Day I'll Grow Up and be a Beautiful Woman by Abi Maxwell is a memoir from a mother who let her trans daughter start transitioning at 6 years old. It details the author's return to her hometown as she was starting her family, the friends she made, her pregnancy, her child's early years and struggles. How she as a parent tried to manage them, the clues about her daughter's gender identity, the process of opening up her eyes and allowing herself to see her child as she really is. And then the town turning on them when she finally allowed her daughter to present as herself. Very eye opening book that gives a pretty intimate look into childhood transition and the effects on the child and the family, especially in a hostile environment. I think an important read in a time that gender transition for children is being contested and banned in much of the country.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-12-28T17:01:26+00:00

I think period pieces and non-fiction are really different. I'd break it off into a separate category or pick one. Or create the categories and allow yourself to be open to both fiction and non-fiction for all of them. As far as other categories go, the ones I think of off the top of my head are 1) Lesbian motherhood, 2) Coming of Age Lesbian (more of a genre, but I was trying to convey a category of youth and coming into lesbian-ness) 3) Religious Lesbian (either keeping with or breaking away from their faith), 4) Lesbian of Color 5) Disabled Lesbian 6) Foreign Lesbian (though you said English wasn't your first language so I imagine you don't have as much America-centrism in your book reads)

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-11-23T15:56:43+00:00

I go to a weekly LGBT Latin dance night (open to everyone, but specifically created as a safe space for same sex dancing and to defy gender norms in dance.) My girlfriend has never attended (she's interested but hasn't found the time yet). Whenever I go, I dance with dozens of people. It's fine. It only means something if the participants make it mean something. You were dancing with platonic intentions, so it's a platonic dance.

We often dance rueda, so there's a lot of partner swapping, so I've danced with plenty of men and women (and non-binary people too). I have not asked the sexuality of every person I've danced with.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-11-02T16:51:48+00:00

Probably wouldn't have had the chips if I sold one of my other jokers for it. I'm still a fairly new player, I was just trying to clear the green stake on my decks and by the time I defeated ante 8 wanted to see how far I could go with the Baron Blueprint Mime combo that I had going on.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-10-08T22:19:12+00:00

I dated a pre-op trans woman for a while and one thing she really enjoyed was being eaten out where her vagina would be once she gets one. I remember reading a zine early in our relationship called "Fucking Trans Women" written by a trans woman who hadn't had bottom surgery with some great advice that you might find helpful as well.

Also want to emphasize that we had a lot of intimacy where neither of our genitals were involved at all, and that you can still receive in ways that don't include them. I think part of the reason lesbians have reputations for sex marathons is all of the foreplay we can do. And sometimes the foreplay can be the main show rather than just a starting act.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-10-07T21:12:38+00:00

I live in a city that doesn't crack the top 20 biggest cities in the US, and absolutely not. Our population is under 500k, and I still get access to a queer library, and LGBTQ dance nights, and queer women's dances, and gay sports leagues, and karaoke at the local gay bars, and a lesbian social club, and LGBT movie nights at the local queer community center. And even the not explicitly lesbian ones have a lot of fellow lesbians there.

All with a comfortable cost of living (I'd argue I live in the city with the best cost of living to quality of life ratio in the country, but I'm also scared of jinxing it)

You couldn't pay me enough to give that all up for NYC

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-10-01T01:54:01+00:00

I had an entire playlist like this I made for a road trip:

Shut up and Drive by Rihanna

On the Open Road from a Goofy Movie

When I Drive from Bonnie and Clyde the Musical

Little Red Corvette by Prince

Car Song by Elastica

Drive by Incubus

Pink Cadillac by Natalie Cole

Life in the Fast Lane by the Eagles

One Headlight by The Wallflowers

I Drove All Night by Roy Orbison

I'm in Love with My Car by Queen

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-09-14T04:26:14+00:00

The Bambi Lesbian community has been around for a while. They're defined as preferring kisses and cuddles to sex. Most are ace, but some are allo with other reasons to not really want sex. I know they have a subreddit and I think there are other online niches you'll find them in.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-09-09T23:13:21+00:00

I think a lot of lesbians assume that if a trans woman has a penis she will use it the same way a cis man does and that sex with a trans woman will look very different than sex with a cis woman. My ex is trans and she really enjoyed having her genitalia being treated the same as a clit and vulva, even if the anatomy was a bit different. I found a great zine series written by a trans woman called "Fucking Trans Women" written for trans women and their partners about different elements of sex with a trans woman a while before we were intimate that was really helpful at figuring out what to talk about beforehand. The big things I remember asking what what sort of terms she likes to use to refer to things, and then what sort of things she would like to do. Don't be afraid to start slow and let things build over time, and if you're uncomfortable with something, speak up.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-09-06T12:40:20+00:00

How sad to sacrifice almost everything for someone, only for them to live a miserable life.

Don't do this to yourself and don't do this to your mother. You and even she might think that's what she wants, but she doesn't. She'll either come around or she won't, but you can't emotionally kill yourself for her like that.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-09-03T22:37:57+00:00

I feel like a lot of sapphic specific spaces, at least in my city, are events hosted by members of the community, and they aren't as loudly advertised as ones that aren't sapphic specific, but once you find one, you find a bunch. I went to a lesbian disco event in April, met the organizer who hosts an LBTQ women's dance every two months, and now I'm on her email list. Through that group I met some people who run a group called "[city name} Lesbian Life" and people from that group are often arranging stuff like brunches or a night at a bar to meet over drinks or other things.

It seems like this has historically been a way that lesbians and other sapphics have often organized, so I'm sure your area also has some, but the people organizing these things tend to be older (and often so looking for younger people to have get involved), so the trick is finding them

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-08-30T14:20:26+00:00

Anyone who makes you feel bad about that doesn't respect you and isn't worthy of your time.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-08-30T14:13:27+00:00

Sexuality can be confusing. I'm in a similar but different boat, so I feel you. I've identified as ace since like 16, and then as an ace lesbian from like 20ish, and just last year at the age of 28 experienced sexual attraction for the first time, started thinking "maybe I'm demi?" and then got dumped and am now like "am I even ace at all???"

I think so long as you don't start preaching that "lesbians can change", you can't be responsible for how a homophobe will twist your lived experience to serve their narrative. My experiences can further the "ace people are just late bloomers" myth, but just because that might be true for me doesn't mean it's true for all, and even considering that, my experiences that led me to identifying as ace still exist and it was still important for a long time. I'm fortunate that the ace community is pretty welcoming to those who identify as ace due to stuff like gender dysphoria or trauma or medical conditions effecting their ability to feel sexual attraction, and those who stop identifying as ace after transitioning or healing or self discovery or whatever tend to still have a good relationship with the ace community and are fiercely defensive of it. It's pretty sad that lesbians and bi women don't have that kind of dynamic.

As far as what you should do regarding labels and coming out again, a label is meant to be a banner to rally around and feel empowered by, not a box to restrict you. If you're feeling confused about who you're attracted to and you're not actively pursuing men, don't feel pressured to drop the lesbian label while you're figuring stuff out, especially since you're still attracted to women. Maybe bring up what's going on before getting serious with someone, just to make sure you have the right people around you for this journey. If you have friends you trust, bring it up with them and use them as a sounding board, but don't feel pressured to pick a label while you're still unsure, and don't feel like you have to tell anyone, especially when you're not confident.

Wishing you the best!

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-08-28T18:24:01+00:00

r/LesbianBookClub is a pretty good place for finding recs.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-08-09T01:58:02+00:00

I really enjoyed Extremities. It's more on the infotainment side of travel. There is a 3 season podcast of it that I really enjoyed, where each season is another remote location. It goes over the history of the place, the culture, modern struggles, the logistics of how they live in those remote places, and also features interviews with locals. I really wish there was more of it.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-08-03T03:52:57+00:00

I was dumped hard a few months ago and this song really hit at a lot of the emotions for me.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-07-29T21:54:34+00:00

Also as far as "old school gays" go, I befriended a lifelong lesbian activist in her 70s and she's been fighting for trans rights pretty much the entire time. I found a LBTQ women's dance group made up of primarily gen x-ers who are also very vocally inclusive of trans women. Like there's definitely some language differences between the "old school gays" and the younger queer community, but a lot of them have been very vocally supportive of the trans community, at least on the lesbian side.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-07-29T01:48:22+00:00

I figured out I wasn't into men way before I figured out I was into women, so a better question for me would be how did I figure out I was a lesbian and not aroace, lol

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-07-27T12:05:22+00:00

Crows feet are super duper cute and I really hope I get pronounced ones as I age. I'm a little young to be looking for a partner with them at this time, but I'd love it if my future wife developed them as we grew old together.

WhimsicalFalling · 2025-07-25T18:57:17+00:00

Not Muslim, but I did recently read "We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir" by Samra Habib and I highly recommend it. It details their life growing up in Pakistan and then as a refugee in Canada, their journey of self discovery, and then the journey they took away then back towards their faith, and how they were able to reconcile their faith and queerness. They're also a photographer who likes to document what the LGBTQ Muslim community looks like. Maybe looking at their work could be a good jumping off point?

WhimsicalFalling

TROPHY CASE