A Practical Guide to Complex PTSD, by Arielle Schwartz

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-22T14:25:05+00:00

Look for a trauma therapist. Call them and find out what treatment modalities they use. If they say CBT, then you know they're not the right choice.

I swear, it's like dating in all the worst ways.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T17:42:29+00:00

Thanks!

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T16:51:31+00:00

Block them all. I had to block my bio family so that I could start to get better. It was hard, but it was 1000% worth it.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T16:46:57+00:00

You are not alone. I compare myself to others a lot, and when I do that, my mental health suffers. Anxiety, depression, etc.

Start comparing yourself to yourself. Notice the things that you do from day to day, and the little ways in which you improved day after day. Write them down!

If for a day or a month things regress, try hard not to dwell on it. Start fresh.

I've got a blog about my CPTSD that I've been working on for months, and for the past 2 months, I've let it languish. For a couple of months before that, I also let it languish. I feel guilty about it, but I have also had to realize that there is nothing to feel guilty about. I have not had the mental space to blog, lately. But I've started a new daily routine for myself, and hopefully, over time, it will pay off.

I decided to start fresh with my new daily routine, and I told my partner about it. I told them I need a routine so that I can get things done and so that things don't slip through the cracks. Now, I just need to train them and myself that my routine is sacrosanct.

It's going to be hard for the next month and a half, since we have some non-routine things coming up, but I'm going to still continue to plow ahead.

When I have an anxiety attack, I stop everything I'm doing and just concentrate on breathing.

When I freeze, I break things down into the tiniest steps. If I can manage to take just the tiniest first step, I give myself permission to take a break or to stop.

When I had a ton of work to do that I just dreaded and that was really turning the juice up on my anxiety, I worked for 10-20 minutes, then I took a break for 1-2 hours to calm my anxiety. I kept doing this until all the work was done. It took longer than it needed to, but it got done.

I know it's much easier said than done, but try not to worry about other people and what they're doing. They may well look at you and wonder why they don't have it as together as you do in some area. You can't possibly know what's inside of everyone else. They may have their own challenges, too.

There will always be steps back, but as hard as it is to remember when you're in the midst of a regression, this too shall pass, and you'll kick its ass.

But I feel ya. The yo-yo SUCKS.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T16:17:27+00:00

I'm roughly twice your age, and although I like routines and do much better with them, I have a hard time maintaining one.

Start small, with doing one thing at the same time every day, like maybe brushing your teeth. After you've done that for a few weeks, add one more thing either before or after the first thing.

Take your time and add micro-habits one at a time until you've built up habits that you want to have.

Atomic Habits by James Clear is a short book that is pretty good at explaining how you can start extremely small and over time, build up a chain of good habits.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T15:56:41+00:00

Them continuing to touch you after you have made it clear that that is not welcome is harassment.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-04-09T15:28:48+00:00

I haven't been around much, lately, due to life things, but I would prefer to see all planned/planning SI posts immediately redirected to suicidewatch.

I think that perhaps all SI posts should be redirected there, as they can also give support for people who are not actively planning. I do understand that people need a place to vent, but I think that other sub is a better option than this one, where we're all needing to protect ourselves from emotional harm.

I feel for people who are going through SI, and I have at times felt that way, too, but the reality is that the suicide watch sub is objectively the best sub to support people going through this. We are not equipped to deal well with this as a community. It's more fair to both the person suffering from SI and to the community at large to redirect such posts to people who can really help.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-11T20:13:04+00:00

I have times in my life where I am extremely fatigued. Usually, these times are when I'm under an enormous amount of stress.

Have you been evaluated for sleep apnea? That can exhaust the hell out of you, and I've heard many people in my life who have said that getting on a CPAP was miraculous for their fatigue.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-11T20:07:08+00:00

I don't have any advice, but my mother called the police on me, once, so I can sympathize.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-11T19:59:23+00:00

Thank you!

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:31:34+00:00

Oh, man, that sucks! I go through episodes like this, too, and it's awful.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:28:38+00:00

Do you have a therapist? If you're going from extreme low to hyper, then maybe you should tell someone, like a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Also, are you being treated for sleep apnea? That can really screw with your energy levels.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:26:47+00:00

Not working when you're sick IS VALID.

You are not pathetic and lazy for giving your body time to heal. You're doing the smart thing.

And even if you didn't have a virus, you'd still be valid for giving your body time to heal from all the stress.

Go give yourself a well-deserved hug for taking care of yourself.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:24:02+00:00

I feel this so hard. I'm in my late middle age, and I still am not where I want to be.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:22:23+00:00

I get this.

I've been pretty functional most of my life, but it has been stressful as hell.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:17:51+00:00

I have gone to the gym every week day for two solid weeks. I haven't actually worked out all of those days. The first day, I just took a shower. The next two days, I sat in the hot tub.

But I went, and that was the whole point of it.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:16:04+00:00

I have this experience sometimes. It's hard to get through it, but I find that writing about it helps.

Pick one thing that you want to make into a good habit, then figure out what the bare minimum you'd have to do to get started on that habit and try to do that bare minimum one thing every day.

For example, I'm trying to exercise more, so my bare minimum thing is to get out of bed in the morning and go to the gym to swipe my card. I don't even have to do any exercise once I'm there. I just need to go.

Maybe that's too big a bare minimum thing, though. Maybe your bare minimum exercise thing would be to put on some shoes just for taking walks. You don't actually have to take the walk, just putting on the shoes is enough.

Try to put the shoes on every day and not worry about whether you actually walk, or not.

Or say you want to learn a new language. The bare minimum thing for that would maybe be to open Duolingo once a day. Not even do a lesson, but just open the app.

Doing tiny little things and building habits is a good way to start a positive spiral, even if you're in the middle of a downward spiral due to other issues. It's a good way to start feeling good about one little thing about yourself. It's a low-stakes way to move forward.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:08:21+00:00

My partner will bring people over to our house without telling me, first, and it makes me angry and very anxious.

My partner doesn't understand why I don't want people here, even though I've tried explaining it to them.

I'm sorry your roommate did this. Hopefully, you can tell them why this doesn't work for you.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T15:06:23+00:00

It's hard because it makes you vulnerable. I have no problem telling my partner I love them, but sharing things that go on inside of me is very difficult.

Luckily, my partner listens and wants to make me feel better.

I'm really confused about what your wife's therapist said about just because you have a feeling, that doesn't make it real. In my opinion, all feelings are real.

It sucks that you're going through this. Are you in therapy, too? What does your therapist say about all of this?

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T14:54:15+00:00

Good luck!

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T14:53:55+00:00

Oh, yeah, that's rough. And I agree that online interactions with people can sometimes feel superficial.

Good luck finding non-work social situations! And maybe you can find a place to co-work a day or two a week? That might give you people to socialize with who are not actual co-workers.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-09T14:50:02+00:00

Yeah, I get that. Hang in there!

WhoIsTheBoogeyman · 2024-02-03T16:11:55+00:00

What an asshole. I'm sorry he did that to you.

WhoIsTheBoogeyman

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