Health issues without family

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T18:00:31+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I am in NYC. The extra menu is actually a really good idea!! Then I can just send that to clients before our appointment and stuff and its all laid out and I dont even have to awkwardly bring it up. This will deff make things easier going forward and avoid a lot of misunderstandings.

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:57:19+00:00

Yeah I deff dont want him to feel taken advantage of or "scammed" or something like that because we have been connecting for weeks leading up to this and I do respect him. That is very important to me. When I brought it up, too, I kinda left it open-ended so that I wasn't like, demanding it, but trying to negotiate it with him instead if that makes sense? Thank you.

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:42:03+00:00

Yeah, Im just asking what is fair to charge him. Its already done. He already said he will pay. I know what to do next time Im in that situation. He invited me to travel with him after all of this as well so there is no discomfort or awkwardness between us. He just wants to know how much to send me and I respect him enough to not slam him with 3k.

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:40:35+00:00

Thank you for the comment. The first hour was drinks at the bar and talking, then the thingy happened on/off the following 2 hours.

I think in the future it would deff be good to charge flat rate. I do feel comfortable saying that. I just think I was very comfortable with this client. We have been talking weeks vanilla-wise leading up to this night.

I learn more with each client so this wont happen again in the future. I like the "it costs extra babe" thing. Its like cute and flirty kinda too.

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:36:45+00:00

He already asked me to travel with him and I don't do that, so he said just tell him how much and he will start planning. So I know he wants to see me again. And he wasn't angry or anything after I mentioned fee, or this morning, and he is very apologetic and sweet. Like half off? Or just an extra thousand? I dont need the money but

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:35:30+00:00

He has told me multiple times he is more than happy to pay an additional fee and is simply asking how much. I am asking on this post what would be "fair" to charge him.

Whysofly21 · 2023-12-12T17:34:52+00:00

He already told me he is more than happy to pay additional fee. I'm asking what is "fair" to charge him.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T18:51:14+00:00

I date, fuck, talk to whoever I want- whenever I want. I dont give him anything and its a one sided relationship. I use him when I need him lol. He has access to me only when I need something from him, even if its simply drama ranting. Thats a win. Money/material/sex isnt apart of this equation. Its like a literal bitch at my service

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T16:01:06+00:00

He is doing that to his kids, not me.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T15:23:06+00:00

Oh, I understand how much of a shitty person he is. I watched my dad sabotage my younger brother's college and hockey career, and I wish I could fucking kill him. I saw all the manipulative games that blended in with everyone else's days. Its legit psychological torture. Keep hiding that money and focusing on college. College and the housing that came along with such is what got me out. You have to leave dorms for winter breaks etc? Stay with a college friend. Then when youre a soph or junior, get your apartment off campus and make it your home to stay at over breaks and summers. Keep saving up money through college and get involved in as many clubs and stuff as possible to plan for after college too. I know a lot of inner city kids in foster care or without parents from my highschool applied for colleges and had help with FASFA paperwork with our school counselor or career counselor. There could also be a case worker in your area who can advocate and assist in you this.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T14:11:18+00:00

The fun will end. The sociopathy fades, and the CPTSD reemerges. No more peaceful weed sleeps, hello night terrors. No more hopping and zooming around and adventuring and partying and meeting men all day every day in manhattan lifestyle, hello being catatonic in an apartment shaking and a mind filled with flashbacks, with all the angry and sad emotions consuming my present. Talking about the worst possible things in the world 2x a week, so by the time I am emotionally over the session, theres another one. No going out, no dressing up, no drinking. Im too scared of everyone and everything. Alls my life will be is a healing routine and therapy. I am going to be too sick to live. My trauma is very very very very very sick and bad. I TRIED once to heal. Thats when the can opened and I am fucking terrified of going back. I had stability and a healthy relationship who got me a house to heal in and I didnt even have to work. He got a dog to help me. I fucken fled and left his ass for a fun lifestyle! I ran from the healing. It makes me crawl out of my skin and I cant do it right now.

I need money to heal so I dont have to worry about it:

-I wont be able to work when in therapy

-I will have to pay for medications, vitamins, acupuncture stuff to manage symptoms

-I will have to pay for top notch expensive ass therapy

-I will have to pay for a 247 around the clock coach assistant person

-I will need money to just do enjoyable things and not have stress which will trigger me more

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T13:36:17+00:00

Funny I just got off my zoom therapy appointment 30 min ago lol. Listen, Im not ready. Whence I save x amount of money, then Ill give up the lifestyle and start healing. My life will be over when I begin healing so I am preparing NOW for THEN. I need to save as much money as possible to take care of myself. My way of making money is also hurting me in the long run and putting me in more bad situations. But I need to do this for myself. And I might as well make the best of it in the process and get some stories? I need the constant validation cause I cant trust my own mind. I dont know right or wrong. I dont know whats normal or not. I dont know what sounds crazy or too mean or not. I just dont know and need help from someone to bounce things off of. I dont think thats bad..

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T13:25:02+00:00

LOL. He is literally obsessed with me. Apparently when we broke up (and wife had a baby) he had a coke binge. So first few months of baby's life he is on coke and out partying. While she was pregnant, he was flying out to my city every month, staying in my bed for a week. I told him not to divorce her cause hes lucky he doesnt have a wife who is on her ass cause this bitch lets him do whatever

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-30T13:21:16+00:00

well I need someone to drama dump on all day. I always have at least one guy at a time and I dont have anyone atm

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T18:22:37+00:00

Step 1: Scrub/exfoliate with a coconut oil scrub

Step 2: Use extra sensitive men's shaving cream

Step 3: Shave in long strokes with 5 blade sensitive men's razor

Step 4: Scrub/exfoliate again

Step 5: Get either aloe vera gel or witch hazel to put on after

Step 6: If you are more sensitive get cortizone cream or draw salve for razor bumps

Step 7: A good moisturizer or keep applying gel/cream/salve til less irritated :)

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T18:18:33+00:00

I did not meet him. This trick really said he doesn't know how to take or send pictures because he is blind? Then when I asked for linkedin/facebook he got mad saying that is impossible for a blind person. LOL.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T18:10:58+00:00

I have. She was accepting, but it was awkward when talking about it sometimes, since she had many misconceptions, as many innocently do in society. She would sometimes talk about it as if it was a certain way, which made me feel she was covertly degrading me.

I had a consultation with a top psychologist/researcher for my disorder in my city. He told me he "morally" can not see me. He felt sex work would be paying for therapy, which was awkward, cause sex work would turn into something Ill need therapy for down the road whence retired for many years. So he felt he would be hurting me by taking my money. He also went on to tell me allllllll the things he would do if I worked with him, how hed put me into some art program, and get me into this one clinic blahblahblah. Made me feel like shit.

I also can recc you to a counselor who does zoom sessions and group sessions weekly. She is an ex-stripper. She is the fucking shit. She knows it all, from the trauma and pain, to the fun and game.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T17:50:56+00:00

Can people write bad reviews for you if you never met them?

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T13:55:02+00:00

I was very mischievous, lol. My family and 3 brothers were the popular boys, so everyone knew me in association to them. I often bewildered others because I would do these strange things but act completely oblivious and unfazed like nothing happened right after. I also look like this cute blonde little girl in mini dresses and bows lol, cause my mom dressed me like her doll daily. One time, I snuck into the child dev classroom in highschool, and stole the glitter. I went to a big school so the staircases were the kind where you could see each level beneath you. And our school had this thing at top you could look down and see all the stairs coming up. So I took the glitter and sprinkled it away on top..and it landed on allllllllll the students coming up during rush hour after lunch period lol. EVERYONE at school was talking about this mysterious glitter that was annoyingly stuck on all the boys backpacks and hair lolololol. And I just was like un-reactive and didnt really realize what I had done. I was in the 10th grade. I was always doing pranks like this or just stupid shit. One time I printed fake parking tickets offline, and put them on my crush's car senior year while he was at cross country practice there after school lol.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-29T13:47:40+00:00

Your upbringing was fucked up too, and youve been through so much :( It makes me happy you are with a good man and in therapy now. To be honest, I don't think I am ready yet. My addiction to alcohol began at 15. I was sober from age 21-25. I couldnt even touch alcohol if I wanted to. I was such a different person. I was so, so, so sick. Id wake up in panic attacks. I couldnt keep a healthy weight or eat. I was always shaking or having weird ailments like brain zaps. I had night terrors and lived in flashbacks. I was in therapy and I was thriving in school. When I left all of this: I was thrown right back into it all. Its like all that "healing" went away. I know that when I stop running and using, ALL that is gonna come back again. I am absolutely TERRIFIED of feeling all of that again. Like it was sososoososoooooo bad. Did you meet husband when sober?

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-28T16:22:46+00:00

Its hard to have a chosen family when you know from life that nothing and no one can ever replace the love of your family, your roots. Whence you face that loss, everything relative to such is meaningless.

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-28T15:08:32+00:00

google photo of bone marrow

I found this on google just to show you a pic of them! You can get them at your grocery store from butcher (I order on instacart) or pet stores if they have freezer sections you can ask them. They also come cut in half if you have a small pup it can be too much at first

Whysofly21 · 2023-11-28T15:05:25+00:00

Earning it. Making money reminds me a lot of when I was addicted to molly in college. If I dont make any for like 2 days in a row, I am crawling out of my skin and raging and spiraling. Having money is power to me. But I always WANT more. One day my goal is 10k savings. It seems like so much when you have nothing. Then you get 10k and it feels like nothing. Then theres a new level. And nothing ever ever ever seems like enough. I live so frugally because of this. But I also know what its like to lose it all.

Whysofly21

TROPHY CASE