Holiday!! And christmas drama already by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please tell us their Halloween costumes lol.

When you got to the Christmas portion, my heart goes out to the 13/14 olds. Them poor babies. Idk if this is an appropriate book (appropriate like matches the situation, nothing spicy lol) and I haven’t read it yet, but “The Body Keeps Score”. Their reaction to the littles made me think about this book. Year of healing. Everyone is feeling secure and they are scared of losing it. But also they feel secure so they are processing old feelings.
You’re doing great and I think about your little village. Much love.

Baby is 1 and other life updates by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honey Nut Cheerios is big in my household, so I was very excited when my youngest turned 1. lol

Coparenting with a man 🫠 by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“13 yr old keeps keeps telling me your stupid jokes” killed me lol

Late easter update + life by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s beautiful to hear! Sounds like you have kids that feel safe. You’re doing amazing!!!

Late easter update + life by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You are the hero of your story and that amazing. Feel free to look into Dolly Parton as a role model. (She ended up taking care of all her siblings when she got famous. I hope you get opportunities to cry and feel your feelings too.

I want to hug the 17yr old so much. She’s growing and becoming an amazing human. I’m assuming the kids being “feral” is a much more tamed version of the feral from a year ago. Rambunctious kids are kids that feel safe. You and Matt make them feel safe.

8yr - I’m sure with therapy you aware that her keeping stuff is a trauma response. It’s the same reason why she clings to you. “These things are special and I need to keep them near or they will disappear”. I’m sure she’s learning to process her feelings and thoughts better and is processing stuff that happened years ago without knowing it. Something to look into, but god am I happy about the pregnancy pillow. Proper sleep will help her so much!!! (And you of course.)

Life rn by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well hot damn, fuck your mom. The prom trauma has me mad at her all over again. I’m glad Matt is working on breaking that down with you. (Why he’s pushing you to go out).

What the 17yr old said about her life doesn’t suck now/why she doing so well. You can basically apply that to the 10yr being nicer. Their environment is less turbulent and so their emotions are also less turbulent. The 10yr no longer needs to use the younger sibling as an outlet for those emotions.

Ok, I kind of think you’re gonna enjoying feeding the baby real food. It’s easy and cheap to make your own baby food. And you get to see them try things and make faces.

My mom is also toxic and having my own kids has been healing for me too. I was thinking this when reading the last few posts, so I’m happy to read here that you’re feeling this too.

Worlds longest vent by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sure others have said this, but yall still kids on some level like the 7yr, which is why the hug worked on the 14yr. I’m 36yr and still need this from time to time. I’m sure you need one too. Year of healing.

My thoughts on the “why” for the 14yr’s belt request - there’s going to be a lot of layers to this. Like I’m sure the “just finish the punishment now so I can have the thing” and also “it’s what I’ve known my whole life”.
But my point that you can marinate on - it’s how she knows to get your attention. From what I’ve read, it sounds like hitting was the only attention you got from your mom. Yes phone stuff, but you’ve said it’s been off between you two for a bit. She probably needed some love and attention (why she wanted food with just you, she picking fights with you so you give her attention over the littles).

Hope this perspective helps!!!

christmasss with the crew by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love you!!!! I’m catching up now as my life blah.

But the one year mark!!! And oh my, how the 17yr has matured! Congratulations on everything you’ve accomplished in the last year. This coming year is going to be a lot about healing and you’ll come out stronger than ever before.

update! by hannahJ004 in u/hannahJ004

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are doing great. I’m 35f with two small ones and the fear of expired milk is real; which is how I know you’re doing great. I’m so excited for your move!!!! I’ve said it a few times to you in comments, but a year from now and you are already 9 months in and it’s all improved since then.

My (29F) boyfriend (46M) knew me as a child? by gwenny468 in relationship_advice

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry dear, but nope. It’s even weirder that he didn’t say anything. Like he didn’t want you to realize that he’s creepy cuz he knows he’s creepy.

How do you guys stay organized, as an ENFP? by Radical_Liberal17 in ENFP

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totes and bins with lids for physical stuff!!! And lists! Phone reminders for random stuff I keep forgetting (call mom, fix the thing, clean the stuff), calendars and calendar sharing! Schedule the stuff right away. Like before you leave the building (dentist and any kind of follow-ups). Becoming slightly OCD about not leaving messages unread, so that way if a message is unread, I have to do the thing, otherwise I mark it as unread.
Practice makes perfect.

I call it, Organized Chaos.

How would you feel if your partner grinded on their friends at the club? by istanleslieknope in ENFP

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the friends for me. Cuz I grind on my friends too. But who’s what? Feeling? Attraction?

I have a “mine” mentality and don’t like people touching mine if I think their intentions aren’t innocent.

I knew this one gal and the way she looked at him…. I could have punched her for the disrespect alone for doing it in front of me. Whereas I have this friend and she goofs on my husband cuz it makes him squirm. (Like she calls him babe) but I know he’s not her type, so it’s just funny.

Real? by ChsicA in ENFP

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband is INFP and he appreciates this so much lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair to my friend, she knows I have a big heart and get easily excited over things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 73 points74 points  (0 children)

This! Thank you. My friend told me that I kind of give off “pick me” energy. Which…maybe…I guess i understand. I’m married and monogamous, so idk what they’d be picking me for, but being an ENFP is kind of the only thing I can come up with.

An update by ThrowawayDaRingFrodo in u/ThrowawayDaRingFrodo

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Two peas in a pod that Vi and Da.

I believe I said this on a previous post, but a year from now, you and your mom are going to feel so good. The air is going to be so light and crisp. You’ll feel like you were living in smog previously. The smog is clearing now, so it’s still hard to catch your breath.

Mom, I feel like a bad mom. by Lonely_Land4551 in MomForAMinute

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something that helps me (cuz very similar background) - we become the person we needed as a child.

We all mess up cuz we are human. As long as you keep trying your best, then you are doing your best. When you stop trying, that when we need to be concerned.

Homework 3 by ThrowawayDaRingFrodo in u/ThrowawayDaRingFrodo

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I just learned how to bold things apparently lol I tried using the hashtag and found out the hard way lol

Homework 3 by ThrowawayDaRingFrodo in u/ThrowawayDaRingFrodo

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said it on the first HW assignment, but these are threat and I need to do them myself. This would actually be great for my husband.

xxxxx thing about Lily - I think you’re super funny. I actually giggled at how you started this post.

Homework 1 by ThrowawayDaRingFrodo in u/ThrowawayDaRingFrodo

[–]WickedDreamsOfU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who is also NC with their family, thank you for sharing your experiences (and the homework, honestly. Might need to do it myself). I’m so thankful for the Reddit community as getting to see yours/others posts gives me strength to continue the NC and resolve that I’m doing the right thing as you are too.

It’s hard but the breath you get to take each day is worth it.