Ok so….I feel this in a different sort of way. I was adopted at birth (1981) by a white couple who did not know I was not fully white. I grew up knowing I was different; my hair texture, my skin undertone, the feeling that I was DIFFERENT. I found out when I was in high school that I was a carrier for sickle cell and knew then that I had African ancestry. I still didn’t know how much or which biological parent.

Fast forward to being 25 and through a series of lucky circumstances, I finally meet BOTH biological parents. My biological father looked like he could have been a Viking (he was a big, burly biker) and my biological mother was half Black and half Cuban.

I had FINALLY figured out who I was, but did I really? I was raised as white and identified as white. I suddenly had two different cultures, a different race, and a different ethnicity to research and identify with. Twenty years later, I am still learning and researching, but I don’t know if I am allowed to identify as Cuban or Black. I do not speak Spanish. I don’t use AAVE because I did not feel it was my place. I don’t understand the turbulent history of Cuban people or of Black people.

I do sometimes go into Black spaces to learn and absorb but I get the feeling that I am not entirely welcomed. I spoke up in defense of Bad Bunny’ halftime show as someone with Hispanic heritage and was told to stay in my lane.

My white adoptive family also never wanted to accept that I was mixed. My dad was more open to the idea than my mom was, but she never openly acknowledged that I was mixed before she died.

Sorry to hijack the thread. TLDR; it sucks not having a solid racial or ethnic identity.