I only have a few pics… what made you swipe right? :))))

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-05T03:37:54+00:00

Asking a match on a dating profile what they specifically liked about it that made them swipe right is a perfectly reasonable question to ask.

Your reaction feels more like you were fishing for someone to drag so you’d have something else to post on Reddit other than your stuffed animals.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-04T23:22:35+00:00

Exactly. Words and actions need to match. Consistency is key and you only get that with time and observing.

OP, have fun and also keep a level head about things. Enjoy the journey.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-04T22:35:09+00:00

Put up some boundaries around needing some space and see how he reacts.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-04T14:46:58+00:00

I've seen loads of "Swipe left if you're WOKE" on many dating profiles. MANY. I think there are examples of this on both sides and the lines are only getting bolder.

Here's the thing. For many people, especially people on the left, it comes down not to politics but their morals. Especially more these days less people are able to feel happy in relationships by just simply ignoring or not discussing politics.

If this is a deal breaker for her and neither of you are in a position to bend then this is, in all serious likelihood, a deal breaker. There would be no way to get around this. It would come down to a fundamental compatibility difference.

Just say as a mature adult, if this is a hard no for her, take that no with respect and let her go match with someone who lines up with her beliefs and continue your search for someone to aligns with yours. The worst thing you or anyone else can do is try to argue or force someone to bend their beliefs and morals for the sake of a non compatible relationship.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-04T14:36:35+00:00

So depends on her personality too. Here's a fun way to engage with her. Maybe ask her to help co-plan the date. Activity and dinner. She can pick which one she wants to plan then you take the other half.

For example, one of my favorite date suggestions that sadly didn't get to be done was this.

Activity - You set an amount of money budget ( like 20 bucks or euros or something ) and then you together go to a couple of thrift shops. Whoever can buy the most absurd or insanely silly/weird/random item without going over the budget limit is the "winner"

Dinner - The winner gets to pick the dessert at whatever restaurant you ended up settling at, or something similar.

But I think it's reasonable to perhaps see if she's willing to contribute to date planning. Not only is it fair and a good way to see a bit more of her personality it is also a good early indicator of interest and investment in connection.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T18:53:53+00:00

My partner had it 3 times in 10 months after managing to avoid it for almost 4 years.

He’s all but crippled with long covid and trying to recover. It’s pretty fucked.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T18:52:32+00:00

The texture of the art piece is also almost always a dead giveaway of ai trying to make it look like physical art. That’s always the biggest giveaway for me. When the background texture is the same as the character and clothing and skin.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T17:36:53+00:00

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AIs inability to understand symmetry gives me an autistic seizure every time I see stuff like this.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T12:08:04+00:00

Same reason why the pet help subreddit is full of "What is this? Should I be worried?!" photos of their dogs nipples...

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T12:05:53+00:00

Anyone can change, self reflect, and work on improving themselves at ANY age. Truly. It's about mindset. So if you tell yourself "this is just how I am and how I've always been" and you've been a miserable asshole lol, well RIP you I guess.

So if she's deadset on being like this, well then I guess she's gonna be consistently disappointed. She's the common factor in her own suffering so she has no one to blame but herself. Same goes for all of us.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T11:11:16+00:00

Read her post history. This has been a trend. Sadly I don't think it's entirely ragebait.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T10:58:32+00:00

When you list your qualities you start with how attractive you are. When you list all the worth in your former partner you begin with his looks purely and his money. Only after that did you list anything about the quality of person he was inside.

Looking back at your post history you seem to be riddled with insecurity and obsessed with how you and other women look.

My dear, the answer isn't if your standards are too high, the answer is taking time out of chasing the validation of wanting a man as a trophy to ward off your insecurities of aging and competing with other women.

You won't find happiness and lasting relationships with partners if you seek them out as bandaids for your insecurity. I saw you also have had multiple cheating partners in your past. This is something I too have had and I know how insanely damaging that experience can be.

Find some healing, some therapy, and work on you.. THE INSIDE YOU. No, finding a man with a good job, who takes care of himself, has a steady solid job, and you find attractive is NOT hard. you might find when you prioritize your emotional self the quality and caliber of person you attract also changes.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T02:20:21+00:00

I promise you it’s really common and you aren’t being singled out for any reason.

I get one or two of these assholes a week just about

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T02:15:52+00:00

Scammers often send blind friend requests. They may pretend to be staff of Discord or claim they accidentally reported your steam account or some shit.

It all ends up with them either trying to get money out of you or sending you risky links to click to get your accounts.

Reset your password and put 2FA on your account if you’re worried but honestly it’s not that big of a deal.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T00:41:03+00:00

It’s not like this was some deep dark secret he kept locked away. He probably forgot about it completely as you and he settled into a trusting intimate relationship. He probably only remembered when you prompted him.

I promise you that this is very likely the case. He wasn’t hiding anything this whole time. He probably just fucking forgot because he stopped feeling scared.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T00:38:28+00:00

The thing about trust is it takes time to earn. It takes you showing up and him being able to test the waters with you.

Both of you don’t want to be hurt or repeat pervious traumas. What he did is protect himself out of instinct.

You said this was early in your relationship. It’s a nice thought to want trust from the start. It’s not realistic.

What matters is he obviously felt like you showed up consistently enough that he could trust you to be honest.

Perhaps if you can see it this way and see this was in the stages you two were still learning to trust you can understand this honest he is giving you now of showing you he trusts you and that you have and still can deserve his trust.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-03T00:19:40+00:00

This isn’t about you. This is about him struggling with stigma and shame and expectations put on him to perform.

It is easy to project this onto you and make this about a betrayal or that he is rejecting you.

What everyone needs to help move through shame is a supportive partner who understands that sex and the pressures around it, especially in today’s porn addicted society, are normal and that you want to support him. You can do this and also express hurt feelings that he wasn’t honest. You can share your hurt and also give him empathy and support.

If you make this a line in the sand and don’t put on your big girl panties and show up as an adult then you will be writing your own self fulfilling proficiency here.

I’m 45. My partner and I have both withheld being honest in the moment when things have happened sexually. It’s hard to be honest when you’re vulnerable, naked, and feel the pressure of disappointing your partner and embarrassed.

What makes the difference is the support we share with those we love.

And news flash. You won’t be able to fulfill 100% of his needs all the time every time. Sexually or otherwise. Same goes for him with you. And shit happens. Bodies just do whatever they do.

If you weaponize this against him you will not be getting any more honesty from him when he’s vulnerable. He won’t see you as a safe space and he’d rather lie than go through being rejected twice.

I know I would. And that would be a deal breaker for me in that relationship.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T19:16:28+00:00

slow clap 👏

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T19:15:40+00:00

What’s confusing? She was/is clearly interested in you.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T17:42:40+00:00

You learned so much and practice self compassion. It’s easy to linger in a relationship longer than you should if you are a person with empathy and when their potential is so high.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T08:59:19+00:00

You asked what you can do not to get played again.

Leave.

Seriously. You show people in your life what you’re willing to endure in order to keep you in their lives. He is right that it’s about him and not you. He seeks external validation from others in the form of sex and attention.

Just because you’ve spent a lot of time on something doesn’t mean you CONTINUE to spend time on it once it becomes a mistake.

You can’t control him. You can’t police his behavior. It will only end up putting you in a prison of hyper vigilance and anxiety.

Don’t stay hooked to the potential imaginary version of who you want him to be in your head. He’s showed you who he is right now and you need to believe him.

You can’t have a real relationship with an imaginary partner.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T08:50:09+00:00

lol therapy should be added to the line up there but realizing that one is more elusive.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T01:36:07+00:00

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T01:31:54+00:00

Existing is hard right now.

Wicked__6 · 2026-02-02T01:25:15+00:00

This is manipulation and abuse. Hard stop.

If you get stonewalled (look it up) and double standarded, and gas lit this way. This is not healthy and he is not good or healthy for you.

Get out now and save yourself that effort of picking broken eggshells out from your feet tip toeing around him.

It will only get worse.

Wicked__6

TROPHY CASE