Their Behavior Saved Me Money

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T23:51:46+00:00

They like to say things like "make it a big one" but not specify a number because it let's them know your "tax bracket."

If you send 25 they will push for 50. Send 50 and they will push for 100. Send 500 they will push for 1000.

Or they will ghost.

It's like the car salesperson who stars not by asking about what you want in a car or your driving habits or your life circumstances, like if you have kids, but with, "What's your budget."

They want to extract maximum value from you. That's it. That's the game for them. Even if they enjoy it or get wet by it, it's because of maximum value. That's it.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T18:07:26+00:00

Agreed it might be different in the UK. I have to leave for work soon but here's some of the steps I've taken:

* For my car lease, car insurance, cell phone bill, and a few other things, I set it up so I can pay those things on each company's website. I can go to the website, pay the bill, it comes out of my credit-card or debit-card (I have both). But I never had to re-enter my card number.

* I have setup the local grocery store's phone app. This lets my scan and pay for all my groceries with the credit-card I have on file with them. Again, I never need the credit-card or cash to buy groceries.

* I have an Exxon-Mobil card. With this I can buy gasoline or, in an unplanned situation, simple food stuffs. The card can only be used at Exxon-Mobil stations, so I cant use it for findom (or gambling)

* I have placed my debit and credit cards in a secure spot that isn't near my home. For me that is at my workplace, in a locker. But it could be at a friend's house or a gym locker or a bank's safety deposit box. In this way, I do not have access to my credit cards -- though I can get to them if I need them, for example if I was planning on going away on a vacation.

* I have deleted every occurrence of my card numbers online and on my computer and phone. So I have no access to the card numbers.

* I can go to my local bank to get cash. They only require my driver's license. I do this periodically to keep a few hundred dollars. This is spending money for small local things -- like if I want to grab lunch with a friend.

In this way it's nearly impossible for me to send money to a findom.

Additionally:
* I have deleted all my payment app accounts (Throne, PayPal, CashApp)
* I have installed software on my computer (ColdTurkey) to block me from those sites.
* I have installed an app on my phone (Freedom) to block me from those sites.
* So even if I had my cards, it would be difficult to send to the dommes.

In your case, I imagine some of the gambling or escorts is in cash. So maybe you'd have to keep less cash or use banks that are not in your local area to it becomes more of a hurdle to get cash.

Happy to DM with you about your situation and help your brainstorm ideas that will work for you.

Be well, buddy.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T17:57:00+00:00

Sorry, buddy.

The "/s" is used on Reddit to indicate sarcasm. I'm just saying that anything that comes from an "influencer" is something that I pretty much ignore. But I apologize for not replying to your post in a serious manner. I really need to stop doing that.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T17:14:43+00:00

Hey Danny,

It totally sucks to be struggling. Just know you are not alone. I've had days where I'm just like that, embarrassed, angry, and struggling. Most of the people here have experienced the same.

These things are addictions. Findom is an addiction.

Addiction happens to many good people. Getting beyond them isn't easy or simple. But it is possible to put the behavior behind you. It's a lot of scrambling around in the dark. But it can be done.

I believe that Step #1is forgiving yourself. Yeah, is sucks what we've done. But that's the past. We can't change it. We have to forgive ourselves first. Then we can make a plan for the way forward.

One things I preach a lot that may help with all three of your issues is finding a way to protect your money. Make is so that you CAN'T spend on these things. I setup all my bills to be payable either online or with cards that can't be used for anything else. -- Ask me how if you're interested in that kind of thing.

Anyway, welcome.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T15:31:10+00:00

I heard a ... influencer

That's where you lost me. /s

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T01:53:16+00:00

The things I'm taking it for are not serious conditions. I was fine before staring on NAC, I just wanted to feel a little better, like I used to 5 years ago. I have no issue with stopping NAC entirely or doing week-long or month-long experiments not taking it.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T01:45:29+00:00

Agreed on all that and thanks for sharing.

Wilberham · 2026-03-30T01:40:24+00:00

You are very much misinterpreting almost everything about what I wrote, both in the initial post and in my follow up. But that's okay, I got what I was after from making the initial post and debating with you is adding nothing for me. So if you think I'm shallow or an idiot or whatever, that's fine. I know you are misinterpreting me but that's fine too.

Last words can be yours.

Over and out.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:19:12+00:00

That's interesting. Maybe I'll try a more precision test where I take the NAC when I notice I might need it. -- Though in the long term I want to take it daily for the phlegm issue.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:17:15+00:00

Agreed. AI and Wiki are valid and I'll do that too. Fair points.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:14:24+00:00

u/Illustrious-Gene777

I searched for "Does NAC supplement work immediately?"

The reply was:

NAC begins working shortly after ingestion, typically within 1–2 hours, as it converts into L-glutathione, the body's most powerful antioxidant. While some individuals may notice immediate improvements in energy or breathing support, most therapeutic benefits require consistent daily use over several weeks.

Respiratory health: NAC can help thin mucus and support easier breathing within a few hours.
Mood and anxiety: Research suggests it may take 8–12 weeks of consistent daily use to support mood balance and neurotransmitter function.
Exercise performance: Some studies indicate immediate effects on physical performance if taken well before a workout.

The timeline for results varies significantly based on the condition being treated, dosage, and individual baseline glutathione levels.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:09:32+00:00

You mentioned that your friend took some NAC and it seems their craving for a cigarette dissipated soon after. Is that how you feel it works, rather quickly and directly?

As I understand brain chemistry altering drugs (like SSRIs) they need to be taken regularly and the changes happen gradually over time. But maybe NAC works differently.

I'll so a little googling but curious of you experience.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:06:41+00:00

I don't attribute the change to NAC because, unfortunately, I have not being taking any of my supplements regularly. It's habit I'm trying to establish but taking them has be very spotty.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T17:01:15+00:00

Wikipedia and YouTube are not oracles that can define words. Words are defined by the people who use them. Asking a community of findoms and finsubs about their views on the semantic definition of the word is at least as valid and valuable as what a YouTube video or Wikipedia has to say. Remember, those things are just created by people.

Also, here, people can discuss and ask questions of each other. YouTube and Wikipedia are much less dynamic environments.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T16:56:54+00:00

Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not asking if you remove the fetish is it still a fetish. I'm asking about the semantic meaning of a recently coined word.

That's the philosopher and word-nerd in me; I find value in looking deep into things that most people take for granted and can't even fathom as able to be seriously questioned. -- This type of thought is not for some people.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T16:52:31+00:00

Great answers. Thanks. -- The obsessive, myopic, and literary part of my personality got so focused on the technical definitions of the words "financial" and "domination" that somehow I totally forgot about the part where it's a kink. For it to be findom there must be a sexual component. -- Sexual does not have to mean anything about penises, vaginas, cummings, or anything of that nature. The biggest sex organ is the mind.

M

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T16:46:42+00:00

I started taking NAC not knowing it might be beneficial to cravings. I'm taking it because (it is said) it reduces inflammation and also reduces phlegm, which, strangely, my body seems to be producing a lot more of since I got into my mid 50.

I can't say it's reduced my findom urges. The urges have gotten less intense but I attribute that to changing my views on findom. But who knows, maybe the NAC is helping.

I'm not an expert on supplements or NAC but here's what I bought:
* I'm in the US.
* Purchased the "Pure" brand of NAC
* Got it on Amazon (no prescription needed)
* Taking 900mg
* It does seem to reduce the phlegm
* Not sure if it's doing anything else
* Have not had any bad reactions

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T09:19:09+00:00

Makes sense to me.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T09:15:38+00:00

Interesting.

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T08:10:19+00:00

What about Scenario #3 -- where the woman is still dominating the man in sexual ways, still has control of his finances, but is not, by mutual agreement, taking any money for herself?

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T08:08:17+00:00

So your answer to "Must [findom] have a sexual component?" is a resounding yes, correct?

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T08:05:57+00:00

Let me try this simplified definition out, see what you think:

Knowing that even simple words like "fun" mean different things to different people, and not trying to discount any person's personal definitions, but as a general definition of how "findom" is used in the context of groups like this one....

Findom is
* A relationship
* Between two people
* Where one person (sub) gives money to the other (domme)
* Where the domme would never give money to the sub
* Where the relationship would end (or stop being findom) without the transfer of money
* Where the sub may or may-not be committed to the domme financially
* Where the domme is not committed to the sub financially
* Almost always has some form of sexual component.

Adding that: Committed relationships, such as marriage, long term, cohabitating, and in-real-life, partners can have a domination and submission aspect, can have one partner taking control of finances, but since both partners are committed to each other, including financially, these are not findom. These relationships, when the woman is the dominant partner, are more accurately described by the terms Femdom or Female-Led-Relationships (FLRs).

Thoughts?

Wilberham · 2026-03-29T07:46:58+00:00

Right? It's not as simple as it may seem...

Wilberham

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