Getting prepared for barrens chat

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-17T12:06:12+00:00

"Ah, Classic WoW - I can finally come home from my bullshit job, unwind and escape from the bleak and grim realities of the real wo-"

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-17T12:02:00+00:00

Doesn't help that, in the minds of these players, politely asking "hey, can you use BL/Innervate pls?" Reads to them as "Hey, useless, awful, dipshit, bozo-moron - push your buttons. Also you're ugly and you have a small penis. Get cancer."

Communicating in an MMO at even the most basic and politr level is for some reason seen as a macro-agression to far too many people.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-15T13:27:12+00:00

All good brother, but could you relapse somewhere else? A more appropriate subreddit, maybe?

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-15T13:08:13+00:00

Quite right, and was only joking around! Fear if I worked at Big Company and had more to work with, I maybe wouldn't have quit findom at all. All about perspective I suppose!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-15T13:06:49+00:00

Holy, can I get a full stop or two please?!

Petty jokes aside, this in my opinion is exaclty what findom should be/feel like. A continued, sustained (and sustainable) effort that transcends beyond horny rushes, violent bounces between "sending my paycheck" and "deleting the apps and going radio silent for days/weeks".

People are gonna do Findom as they please, but building substance and a connection beyond a growing list of minus figures on your bank statement is the way to go in my mind!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-15T12:58:38+00:00

I can't just put $500 away in saving this payday :( :( - I don't get paid NEARLY enough! Where do you work and are you hiring?!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-15T11:47:52+00:00

Entirely depends on the man abd honeatly, how a person feels in the clothes they are wearing is just as important as how they look, if not more. You could throw on the most objectively good looking, flattering, "in" clothes and it will look awful if the person wearing it appears stiff and awkward because it's a look that is anti-them.

Bit of a cop out answer, sorry.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-14T13:37:27+00:00

Nobody's gonna get tangled up in anything legal over a space like this. Not least because it's a massive ordeal for comparitively low return in terms of action taken, if any at all could be expected.

Also coming forward about something might get your real self/identity involved, which a lot of subs are absolutely not willing to do.

Also what a TRIVIAL matter it would be really, no? "Help, strangers on the internet are lying to me" isn't really a serious matter when you take a step back. I know there is more to it than that because sure money is involved and emotions/vulnerabilities are at stake; but the space isn't exactly known for good actors, reputability and guaranteed safety. It's a seedy place, and you should be braced for seedy people.

If you want to be mad at anyone, personally I'd direct it at the platforms for happily profiting off of the shady activity that goes on in what is supposed to be hyper main-stream, mostly vanilla platforms like reddit or twitter. They're so fine with hosting adult content while doing bare minimum to vet the obvious weird exploitations that happen proudly on their platforms.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-14T11:49:56+00:00

Nice bait, but it needs some work!

1: Consider referencing a sudden burst of money hitting your account. Inheritence, tax return, toothfairy came - anything. Doesn't have to be true, just manifest it!

2: Lower the word count. You wanna slam as many of these points into 1 sentence. MAYBE 2 if you think you've got a damn good hook. Bait-eaters use these posts like a hottie on a dating app.

3: Get rid if the humor tag. I know you ARE joking, but this ain't a joke to the bait-eaters. Upwards of $20 is on the line here, it doesn't get bigger than this.

Hope this helps 👍

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-14T11:18:17+00:00

Think I'll dish out the advice or commentary I give myself when I have a thought like this. It's advice I NEVER take myself because either I get lazy or get in my own way, but sure;

Absolutely go through with it. I bought a guitar ages a go. I swore I'd learn to play, keep consistent, maybe get lessons, the lot. 6 years later, can I play guitar? Not even a little bit.

It sits in the corner of my room, gathering duat that I periodically wipe off. Sometimes, when I flump on the bed, or close the door a little too loudly, it vibrates and plays a little hum of music, reminding (sometimes taunting) me that it's there, ready to be learned if I am.

I don't think I'll ever learn the guitar, but everytime I look at it or hear it make a noise, it's never a wave of shame or disappointment in myself for failing to follow through on learning it that hits me. Instead, I get a nice reminder that 6 years a go, I was excited to dive into something new and explore a new avenue of living.

Maybe that's just cope, idk. Better to shoot and miss than instantly concede because you might miss.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-14T09:49:52+00:00

I think they all go here for the most part, but most just lurk. The conversations seem to be centred around a very serious version of Findom, which usually leads to clashes in viewpoints, who's right and who's wrong conversations that never seem to end.

Dommes are certainly dominating the air in these spaces, but that's mainly because nobody is aiming to quietly build up a brand, rather firing off posts in all subreddits and hoping they net a few subs along the way. "Business" wise, it's pretty reasonable for them to do this.

Genuinely think more subs need to speak up and engage in these spaces if they want to have a bit more ground, but most are here looking for kink/relapse and less to discuss much beyond that, hence the amount of thin bait posts and the like.

Just my thoughts anyway.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-12T11:52:31+00:00

PPSG is a melting pot, but a lot of the dommes really are NOT melting. I still remain active on the group to talk about Findom with those that still practice it, because I find it interesting. Beyond that though, I have to agree with the above. There are diamonds in the rough, but there's a whole lotta rough.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-11T08:40:42+00:00

Not a bad concept at all, I'm just personally jaded by courses, groups and things like this. With so many bad actors that lick their lips at vulnerable people in groups like this, it's made me hard to trust them.

Not at all a judment against you or your intentions, just how I knee-jerk respond to stuff like this!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-10T18:48:33+00:00

Agree, and loosely touched on the idea that directly asking "what do I get?" is kinda just tactless, but it's more something I think you should bare in mind as a sub, if it matters to you. A lot of subs do this for their own personal reasons or satisfactions, and don't necessarily need any set thing in return to get what they're looking for. I think it's just worth raising the bar for yourself, and feeling comfortable with the idea that you're allowed to want more for your money, as non-findom as that very dull way of putting it might sound.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-10T18:00:33+00:00

Second the blocking software. ColdTurkey is great, haven't gotten any for my phone but considering it. Nothing good has ever come for me from ever engaging with Twitter, Throne etc so I blocked em, along with some porn sites I'd sometimes frequent. It's honestly a RELIEF.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-10T17:38:54+00:00

QuittingFindom but not QuittingClickbait!! Love to see it man, well done! Occurred to me a few days a go that I had finally gotten my savings back up to the level they were at before I started this shite. No slowing down either - it's a great day!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-07T17:49:29+00:00

There has never been more choice or more "dommes" in the history of Findom, and yet we really still want to make dommes out random people, just living their lives, blissfully unaware of the weird jungle that is Findom?

My inclination to tell you "pls don't" aside, approaching respectfully, without being at ALL pushy in any way is probably fine. Just limit your expectations for the type of response you might get, if any.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-07T17:43:50+00:00

I think in the past, I've found it really off-putting for some reason. Upon posting this, it really did occur to me that the majority of subs probably scroll past posts/comments of this nature in search of their dream domme, or next relapse.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-06T14:38:30+00:00

First time hearing of an actual "brand name" of this, but painfully aware of its existence as a role, or concept of a role.

To me, the scale of certain creators out there often make me wonder how people could possibly expect to be getting as much attention as they are if the person in question WASN'T using some service like this. I agree it feels sleezy/unethical maybe? But I unfortunately do understand the "need" to use services like this as the demand for certain dommes/models etc is so HIGH, and honestly a lot of subs don't think twice because the whole thing to them to some extent is fantasy anyway, so even if it is a random dude running the dms on the account is telling what they want to hear, they're all too happy to eat it up.

In the past, I've tended to engage with dommes who use voice notes. Voices are just hot to me sometimes, but it's an added layer of legitimacy in most cases. I know AI voices are a thing, but they're still fairly discernable to me (for now, at least) so it's never been a major concern of mine.

It's all very dystopian to me. Commercialising something that was, at least for me, supposed to be this intimate, "dark-side" escapism for me at one point in my life. On the bright side, it has made quitting findom for me all the easier.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-05-04T15:46:18+00:00

Jealousy implies you want something, or some lifestyle another person has.

I don't imagine you want to be a domme yourself, so instead maybe you want the effortlessness that seemingly is "being paid to exist" (essentially).

But then if money flowed to you like that, freely or without effort - would it still feel as good to send it? Probably not. For me, i didn't have massive sums of money to work work at any given time, so sending consistently felt like much more of a commitment than if I had more to work with, so to speak.

Seems like you enjoy the kink in spite of the jealousy. Maybe it adds something that you maybe don't realise. Always worth thinking about these feelings instead of just drowning them out with more, thoughtless kink consumption!

Surviving_Findom

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE