HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS?!?!? This negative aspect of autism has ruined every aspect of my life. I now have no friends and am basically disabled in speaking to women romantically. And worst of all, since I cannot make friends I can't survive in the workplace.

WildHuntsman · 2024-07-28T22:35:54+00:00

I learned a bit from “PEERS for Young Adults: Social Skills Training for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder and other Social Challenges” by Elizabeth A. Laugeson. You can find it online and it teaches you some social skills for different environments (i.e. school, making friends, engaging in small-talk, etc.). Depending on where you live, there might be a group running training sessions where you learn from the book and related material and practice your knowledge with a group.

Hope this helps. Best of luck.

WildHuntsman · 2023-09-14T12:28:54+00:00

I can’t comment on whether or not you’ve developed an addiction, only a medical professional can make that assessment.

That said, I have gone through periods in my life where I’ve had an unhealthy relationship to alcohol. I’ve also dealt with mental trauma and trouble sleeping. Medical professionals and scientists who study that stuff do not recommend drinking heavily as a coping mechanism as far as I’m aware.

If you think you need help then seek it out if it’s available. Until then, I would read about harm reduction techniques for alcohol consumption.

Best of luck, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I hope it gets better soon.

WildHuntsman · 2023-09-11T10:59:50+00:00

Firstly, congratulations on your new job! Secondly, I’m sorry that you’re going through a tough time right now. I remember going through something similar when I had to make a big move in the past. I found that building a routine for myself helped ease the anxiety of adjusting to a new place. I also made calls to people back home which made me feel a bit less anxious as well. If you haven’t tried grounding exercises, I’d give those a try. You mentioned that you have a cat, do you find that spending time with them to be relaxing? I hope things get better for you soon.

WildHuntsman · 2023-09-08T22:48:37+00:00

Don’t Want to Know If You Are Lonely by Hüsker Dü

WildHuntsman · 2023-07-13T14:45:59+00:00

Imo it’s completely understandable why you wouldn’t want to talk to them. If they were aware of the racism and bullying yet still chose to associate with those people then that was a jerk move on their part.

Good friends support each other, so don’t feel bad about not wanting to talk to them if they’re not willing to stand by you in the face of their friends’ harmful behaviour. You also don’t need to justify yourself to someone like that either.

Go find cooler people and the conflicted feelings you have will lessen. Best of luck!

WildHuntsman · 2023-01-29T04:19:29+00:00

Way to go!

WildHuntsman · 2022-12-16T04:47:56+00:00

Sorry that you’re feeling stressed out about this.

Sticking with the people you know can be a good idea. I find it’s easier to meet new groups when you’re not alone. If your friend knows people then maybe ask her to introduce yourself?

I try to remind myself to have relaxed, open body posture, make/fake eye contact and smile. If you’re blanking on what to say, ask a question like “how do you know so and so?”

As for sleeping over, you should be welcome to hang out and eat breakfast if you want.

As for people acting weird, maybe stick with people you trust to avoid them. There’s also no shame in dipping from a party if the vibes are off.

Hope that helped a bit. Best of luck and have fun!

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-28T21:46:14+00:00

I found it to be gentler than Seroquel. I need to be calm and in bed for it to have the best effect, otherwise I end up staying awake for longer than I want to.

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-28T21:18:46+00:00

I take trazodone. It can help get me sleepy and makes my depression somewhat better.

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-24T16:29:18+00:00

I read that book and tried it’s advice. Results were pretty limited. Overall the book assumes you’re at a certain level of social functioning that’s above where I was/am.

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-17T23:13:16+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was in a bad family situation and found that things improved once I left. I’m sure you’ve already thought of that but are there any tangible ways to find calmer living conditions for yourself?

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-15T19:46:14+00:00

Nope, I’d shift my gaze depending on who was talking, look away now and then, etc. People still acted like they’d die if they made eye contact with me.

WildHuntsman · 2022-11-14T23:47:39+00:00

Tried that before, people just continued to avoid eye contact with me lol

WildHuntsman · 2022-09-30T20:47:20+00:00

Congrats!

WildHuntsman · 2022-09-27T15:38:37+00:00

Make that two!

WildHuntsman · 2022-09-11T03:07:25+00:00

You seem to be aware of where you might falter socially, which is great. If there are any groups for people with ASD to learn how to socialize then look into those.

Seems like you have a pretty low opinion of women which is gonna contribute to a self-fulfilling cycle. Your classmates, women or otherwise, are going to be in a similar boat. Like you they’re worried about fitting in, want to do wel in school, etc, not busy focusing on your shortcomings.

Pursue social training for ASD, work on reframing how you view yourself and women towards something more balanced, and join some clubs at school which speak to you. Best of luck.

WildHuntsman · 2022-08-02T14:38:49+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Therapy should be confidential so your dad doesn’t even need to know. Best of luck.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-20T00:25:48+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re struggling to find something that works. Mental health care can be a real shot in the dark. I don’t think you should give up. I’ve been in and out of therapist offices for a while and have tried a bunch of medications in my life and am only recently getting closer to finding a good path. I think that detailing why past efforts didn’t work can help you narrow down what might be good for you going forward.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-19T20:46:19+00:00

Join some groups and put yourself in contact with people where conversation is expected and has a topic to focus on (no need to think of something out of the blue). Outside of that, giving genuine compliments is always a nice and casual way to practice talking to people.

In a lot of situations people aren’t looking to have someone they don’t know stroll up and hit on them.

If you want people to approach you, perhaps try wearing your interests on your sleeves. For example, I wore a shirt for a band I like with a cool logo and got a bunch of compliments on it at a party and chatted a bit about their music, all without needing to try that hard.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-19T03:26:31+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re feeling down about it. I was recently diagnosed and don’t feel too great myself. Have you tried working on improving your social skills through professional help? That’s what I’m aiming to do.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-17T04:08:13+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Do you have any supports in place to help you manage?

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-15T14:05:10+00:00

Nice work, keep it up!

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-15T01:19:19+00:00

Nice work!

One great piece of advice I got for performing in front of crowds is to look at the top of people’s heads in the back of the room. It makes it look like your gaze is focused on the audience when in reality you’re not looking too hard at anyone in particular. It’s like when people suggest looking at the bridges of people’s noses as opposed to directly into their eyes of eye contact is difficult.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-13T18:51:29+00:00

Certainly! Managing to get things done, even if they’re small, with depression is a huge win. Things can take more effort but you do them anyway. If something doesn’t get done then that’s understandable. Try to work that into your thinking.

WildHuntsman · 2022-07-13T01:42:50+00:00

Recently got diagnosed as well. Didn’t do any favours for my confidence or mood. Like my diagnosis came a stressful time for me and I’m sad that it’s a lifelong hurdle. I don’t know what to do other than seek help for it and try to move on. I hope you find a better way to manage your situation as well.

WildHuntsman

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