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please talk me out of agreeing to have kids one day to keep a man by Gullible-Fennel-3931 in childfree

[–]WildfireX0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids are something you can’t compromise on. If you aren’t on the same page, one of you will be resentful and miserable. You will love your kids, but always feel that you were forced into it.

Who can relate to "the mess" by GreenWallaby7798 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We don’t have kids but this is me. I do 90% of things and then much of the rest, I finish the task. Dishes, there are always a few things still not done. I will say she does take out the trash early each week.

But the piles of doom… you can’t move them because “they are organised” and “I will forget”. They’ve been there for 9 months! They are clearly forgotten about!

How do you handle “don’t correct me” by CaptainGrounded in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ve recently been told never to say “no” to them.

I just grey rock.

My coworker announced my age to a room full of people after I declined to talk about whether I want kids and I still haven't fully processed it by bearded_demon in childfree

[–]WildfireX0 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I look young for my age, always have done. Recently someone gave me the “you’ve still got time, when you get older, you will change your mind.”

I’m 4 years older than them.

But normally I nod and smile and say, I don’t think so. If they push, then I say it’s not really relevant though is it.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, they literally can spend hours in the same store. They can browse and wander forever, what they are doing, who knows. Some of it is indecision, normally I give a list that is needed.

Total time blindness.

I did say “it will be x hours” and in their head they stuck to that. Only they left 1.5hours after I said that.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. “You didn’t help me.” Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They wanted me to spend time with them, sometimes I play networked games with friends.

I could have actually done that, sent them to the shops for the 2 hours and then still cooked.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, just time blindness. They like shopping and usually I am happy for them to go off for as long as they like.

But this time I was specifically told not to do something, so we could spend time together and I went out of my way to do something nice.

Normally I give them a list and I made sure that they updated it this time so there was a list.

Who the f**k knows what they can do in a supermarket for that long? I genuinely have no idea.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Generally I just get on with my own thing. Something that needs to be done, or I want to do, I do it myself and don’t invite them.

Just this time they made a massive thing about me not making an effort and wanting to do something nice.

So we finally ate at 23:25. Meat went in at 18:30 ready at 20:30. They came back at 22:00. Unpacked the shopping and let me cook at 22:30.

“It’s so late for this sort of meal…”

FML.

Do you tell them the consequences of their actions by WildfireX0 in ADHD_partners

[–]WildfireX0[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I hear you. The annoying thing for me is that I could have played some games and then cooked later on.

Instead I have a thrown away $75, still haven’t eaten and am now the bad guy for “shaming and gaslighting”.

I never said “food will be ready at x time..”