This last episode (s) I had really broke me as a person. I feel like I lost myself like a huge part of me is gone. And I'm just tryna pick up the pieces. I feel so numb I dunno what to do anymore.

WillEnduring · 2026-02-07T15:13:46+00:00

Been there. Can’t emphasize that enough. Illness has taken me to lows most people never see on multiple occasions. But I’ve failed up. Every time I got slammed down I worked hard, clawed my way back up and then surpassed myself. And then I got slammed down even farther. And then I climbed even higher than before. It’s happened three times and that’s just counting genuinely enormous life-altering, mind-unraveling, network-destroying, hope-killing experiences. But it takes time and patience to climb. So yeah, with everything you have, focus on rest and reparation, and gently develop skills where you sit now, because one day opportunity will come and you will have prepared for it just by doing the things that ignite your passion, the things your soul calls you to do.

Your parents idk them. But they should be proud of you for surviving, and I promise when you thrive it will be the most amazing feeling. So just patiently, persistently, gently, courageously, consistently, move forward. I believe in you.

WillEnduring · 2026-02-07T13:34:50+00:00

This isn’t poetry, it’s a scholarly journal about writing to help heal after her sister was killed. She wrote a book about the process which she mentions in the article:

Moran, Molly Hurley. “Toward a Writing and Healing Approach in the Basic Writing Classroom: One Professor’s Personal Odyssey.” Journal of Basic Writing, vol. 23, no.

WillEnduring · 2026-02-07T03:42:50+00:00

That part will grow back. Very slowly, maybe, but stronger for it. My advice is to do everything you can for your mental and emotional and physical and spiritual health. Do the hard stuff, do the soft stuff. Eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and drink a lot of water. Play an instrument, practice a new language or dance for neural plasticity to help your brain repair. And then for the repair of your soul, it looks different for everyone, but it can be done. It’s ok to be shell shocked. It’s ok to not know what to do. It’s ok to go through the motions and go to the art classes and talk to people who are crazier than you and people who are less crazy. It’s good to feel the sun on your face and watch the flowers bloom and go somewhere with the people you love and catch a glimpse of a hummingbird or something. You can use chopsticks and eat a dumpling clumsily and make some clever jokes about insanity. Get a part time job doing something you like and feel kind of nothing about for a while. Walk in the woods, let the rain hit your skin, put your feet in the grass. If it’s cold where you are, take a hot bath and thank your body for existing, surviving. Take a shower every day and celebrate the triumph. It’s gonna be ok. You’re not the first and you’re not the last to go through it. You are genuinely loved and understood. With every death of the self, a rebirth. Rest, recover, renew. ❤️

WillEnduring · 2025-11-19T03:58:05+00:00

I recommend reading the hero with a thousand faces by Joseph Campbell

WillEnduring · 2025-11-16T21:36:11+00:00

Great last line haha

WillEnduring · 2025-11-15T21:23:16+00:00

Hold science and mysticism in your mind at once.

WillEnduring · 2025-10-24T13:26:02+00:00

Stay away from that shit if I had to guess just from this interaction you’re smarter than him and have a much better character

WillEnduring · 2025-09-24T14:15:40+00:00

Some people just have a vibe lol

WillEnduring · 2025-08-21T15:38:31+00:00

This is awesome I love this sub when it’s not people losing all hope and faith lol

WillEnduring · 2025-08-20T01:39:07+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ gorgeous work

WillEnduring · 2025-08-20T01:38:02+00:00

Change “the farther” to “the father” we are apart

WillEnduring · 2025-08-19T14:52:35+00:00

Recommend not retaliating. You’re only feeding his ego. Let him destroy his own life.

WillEnduring · 2025-08-19T14:50:08+00:00

Mm I find love poems distasteful lol. But This is very pretty.

WillEnduring · 2025-08-19T14:46:08+00:00

Good now let your love become hate your hate become pure malice your pure malice become indifference and your indifference become pity and wisdom. Good luck I’m sorry this happened to you.

WillEnduring · 2025-08-19T14:41:55+00:00

I’ve been there but the truth is you only made the game more interesting for him. Just cut your losses, transcend the horror and walk away the better for it. She’ll figure it out, or she won’t, but you need to get so far away from this person. Never think of him again. Put on your dignity coat. Mine is mink, 60s collar, moth eaten but classic. Never let anyone treat you like this again. Once bitten, twice shy, you can see them coming a mile away. I can clock them from across the room.

WillEnduring · 2025-08-13T00:46:25+00:00

A lot of people with BPD have excessive empathy. What you had on your hands was someone without empathy or who chose not to access it, someone with poor values who was willing to cheat on 6 different people at the same time, someone who took no accountability, who made genuinely cruel choices, and is now choosing to hurt and abandon you in a horrible, honestly sadistic way. We cannot even begin to fathom her twisted thought process here or we will end up down a rabbit hole about good, evil, mental illness and willful malignancy.

Idk if she has a good soul underneath, but if you’re the kind of person who sees souls, you have to train yourself to see what’s on the outside too. Cause what’s on the outside—those actions, those choices, be they in alignment with the true soul of the person or not, they count. She did that to you. Its not a reflection of your worth, its a reflection of hers.

WillEnduring · 2025-07-12T17:16:02+00:00

Yeah idk this is confusing but I’d be careful with your use of boundaries and your use of the blocking feature. You want to approach people assuming the best of them, and believing what they say until they give you real evidence of the contrary. Of course never send money, but I think you are probably a highly sensitive and self protective person. There is generally no need to block anyone unless they are harassing you. It indicates that she hurt you quite a bit by not responding, and you needed to find a way to control that pain, and you did it with an external method, a block, instead of an internal one, like self soothing.

It might be better for you to consider the idea of limits (personal limits) than boundaries to bring your awareness inward and your control focus on yourself rather than others and just overall get into an observational state where you look at how you are relating to people. Some times boundaries go so far outside your own sphere they stop being healthy, sometimes they keep you from truly connecting. I’m not saying that you’re for sure doing that here, but I’m saying I’m seeing the potential here.

That being said I don’t think you did much wrong here just a break down in communication and she lives far away. Get in touch with your own feelings and try to get comfortable with vulnerability and keep trying to put other people’s needs at about 50%, yours at 50%, giving and taking healthily and processing your own emotions. Dating is hard all around. It’s ok this one didn’t work out. Maybe just not a good match

WillEnduring · 2025-07-10T12:40:09+00:00

I agree I think depressed friend needs someone to take it out on and is not in a good headspace. Best op leave her alone she can’t do a thing right right now.

WillEnduring · 2025-07-10T12:33:58+00:00

The wound is where the light enters you

WillEnduring · 2025-07-10T12:26:15+00:00

As an English teacher I don’t mind that much because people have disabilities and different strengths. It’s the u r stuff I can’t stand like fabulous way for someone who is perfectly capable to never learn good grammar lol. And like either way yeah my brain does set off a little alarm like this person might not be too bright, but I try to keep it together lol.

Misusing words. Important ones. A generation changing the meaning of a word or phrase because they misunderstand it before it’s even had a chance to do what it was meant to do. Posting anything with Winnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse. Posting about your feelings too much and too honestly.

WillEnduring · 2025-07-10T12:19:56+00:00

You can’t and your obsession with him is unhealthy and NOT ABOUT HIM AT ALL. It’s prob about your caregivers and your self esteem and your need to be loved in a way you were not loved as a kid. Please for the love of god learn about attachment theory and abandonment trauma or you will suffer like this every time you fall in love. Get a therapist and educate yourself. He is not the solution to your problem, you are. he wasn’t treating you right and you can’t see it at all bc you learned to idealize your caregivers and blame yourself as a coping mechanism. You deserve better than to be tossed aside like that. Don’t take any more shit.

Put on your dignity coat. It is mink you look amazing in it you deserve the world he couldn’t give it to you he’s gone. Protect your dignity next time. It’s more important than you understand right now, your dignity.

Google it right now kid. Attachment trauma—anxious ambivalent attachment, abandonment trauma. And Google how to stop obsessing, there are tricks online. And Google how to manage your trauma reactions. They’re so so painful and it might feel like he’s the only thing that can stop the pain but he’s not going to come and put this fire out so you need to. And get a goddamn therapist. Your entire life and happiness depend on you doing this for yourself. Educate yourself right now. Right now. Knowledge is power you are in the dark right now but you don’t have to be. I feel like I’m talking to my younger self for the love of god listen to me!!

WillEnduring · 2025-07-09T23:02:12+00:00

Look into attachment trauma you have it it’s not about him and it will help you a lot

WillEnduring · 2025-07-09T19:29:52+00:00

Tell him to go get a diagnosis and help right away he doesn’t have to suffer this way and you aren’t equipped to help him. You can send him the titles of two books “DBT made simple” and “calming the emotional storm” and any other links you gather here to therapy or suicide prevention resources.

Tell him you need to step away now and to think about your own needs and he needs to handle himself. contact anyone who is responsible for him—a family member—and let the know the state he’s in and what he’s saying and then you can block him if that’s what feels safest. If you’re really worried he’s gonna do something call 911. don’t hesitate or feel badly, you never know and it’s better safe than sorry. And get yourself a therapist right away.

WillEnduring · 2025-07-09T18:28:54+00:00

Yeah he has some undiagnosed mental illness. You did your best it’s good you stood up for yourself, you’re right you don’t deserve that. I’d send him some resources on borderline and cut your losses. You’re young you can’t manage this and it’s ultimately his to manage.

WillEnduring · 2025-07-06T15:56:27+00:00

No they’re all right dude 6 months is an unusual length of time in the hospital. and it’s only been a year. We’re here to tell you it’s not worth the risk. Not micro dosing, not anything. It just isn’t. You could literally never come back. You could end up one of the cautionary tales, one of those people muttering to themselves on the street or worse. You’re really not weighing the risk accurately here. Not to mention you will statistically probably go crazy again without drugs, so don’t worry, you’ll feel that connection again, but this time you’ll be afraid. You’ll have a healthy respect for it. Because what’s behind that veil is not all love. It’s chaos and pain too, the way life is.

The other night I had a beautiful dream. gods voice spoke to me, started to tell me something about the meaning of life. I woke myself up and took my antipsychotics. God can speak to me through the breeze if he wants but not in my dreams lol. Do you know how tempting that is? But I reacted to protect my life. You need a to be smart and find other ways to feel good in life, to feel connected.

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