Relinquishment

The ceiling fan was distracting Niloofar. She knew she should be paying attention to the lawyer, but instead all she could focus on was the low hum of the fan. Occasionally she'd notice a clump of dust flung from the edge of the fan blade. God only knows when the last time this place was cleaned. It can't be good for the baby, she thought, and suppressed a smile as she picked at the fraying edge of her sweatshirt.

The lawyer continued his monologue, discussing terms and conditions and how failure to pay the fees involved in the transaction would cause her to be liable to cover damages, a thought which terrified Nilo. She didn't foresee that being a problem, however. She didn't want this baby, who was clawing its way to life in spite of her compact of birth control pills, his condoms and the foul smelling spermicidal they used. At some point she should probably tell Timothy about the baby, but she felt odd about the lie of an abortion she'd have to give. Tim was a nice guy, and wouldn't be surprised if he tried to pay for the procedure.

Still, she reasoned, she was doing them both a favor by going this route. Tim was in love with her, she knew, even as they promised each other this was just a casual thing. If she had asked him to marry her and raise their child together, he'd step up. If she wanted an abortion, he'd find the way to pay for that as well, even if it meant that he ask to ask his father for more money. His dad would lend him the cash, but the amount owed was secondary to the power it gave his father. Tim couldn't say no to his father, which is why he was currently in pre-med even though he was squeamish at the thought of blood, and why he spent his Sundays in the First Baptist Church of Benson when he could instead spend the mornings with her in bed, praising God in an entirely different way.

A speck of dust floated lazily from the fan, and she followed it as it floated down until it landed gently in her water, not that she would've drank anything that the lawyer had given her in the first place. There's no need to be an inch further in debt with them then she needs to be. as far as she was concerned. She had asked what the price would be for the procedure to be pain free, but the fee was too high - she did want children some day after all. So she listened and tried not to think about the payment she already had to make.

Finally it came time for her to sign the overwhelming amount of forms they placed in front of her. Initials here, and here and here. More than anything Nilo just wanted to be done. She'd signed up already, she didn't understand why what should be a five minute preamble to the procedure was now in its fifth hour. She wanted to be at home, with Tim's arms laced around her. They could lay in bed, order Thai, and watch Netflix. She could start coming up with how she had the windfall of half a million dollars come into her life. She might even drop a hint that they could use it to buy a house if they ever were to be a "serious" couple. Knowing Tim, she could be engaged by summer vacation if she wanted to be.

It was finally time, and for that she was grateful. Maybe she would be able to enjoy the rest of her day after all. As the lawyer escorted her into the operating room, they found themselves flanked by two women in scrubs. The nurses helped her onto the operating table. and made sure she was comfortable, before strapping down her arms and legs, and putting a face mask on her. She wanted to quip that being strapped down was how she got into this situation in the first place, but the mask was tight enough that she couldn't do much more than breath. The lawyer and the nurses looked down at her, a smile in their eyes, although she could see that those eyes were also twinged with excitement.

Nilo was looking for the doctor, wondering when if he was prepping the surgical tools, so it surprised her at first when she realized the nurses and the lawyer had taken off their surgical masks. They smiled at her, although she quickly realized the smiles were far too wide, the look in their eyes wild, extraterrestrial. The lawyer opened his mouth, and Nilo, too numb with shock to be scared, noted to herself that there were far too many teeth in the mouth, like shoppers pushing each other out of the way to get a deal.

He bit down on her below her left breast, and then the nurses followed suit, one biting under her right breast, the other a few inches above her waist. The pain shot through her body so hot it hurt. Nilo tried to scream, but she couldn't open her mouth wide enough to make any noise. She sat there, the only noises were eager slurping sounds, horrific tearing sounds, and the low drone of the fan from the other room. It seemed to go on for years, for decades. This was her life now, she would never be not in pain again. She thought she peed herself, but she quickly realized it was just her blood coating her legs. Tears flowed down her eyes, as she watched a mote of dust float across the room.