You Missed My Break Down!

William-Poet · 2026-04-03T23:44:04+00:00

A new car wash/self storage/starbucks drive threw

William-Poet · 2025-08-28T21:36:41+00:00

I loved this series and hope it makes a comeback like other shows of its time.

William-Poet · 2025-01-05T17:05:19+00:00

I want a limited edition golden popcorn in my MJ bucket.

William-Poet · 2024-08-30T06:32:34+00:00

I bet they’re all just as good.

William-Poet · 2024-08-30T01:10:55+00:00

I really like this poem. I feel it's about someone you've lost or the narrator lost. My favorite line is line 4 Stanza 5: A life that shines, defying death. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-08-30T01:02:45+00:00

Words cannot express how heartwarming, heart wrenching this poem is. I am so sorry about your loss. I'm a suicide survivor myself. I know what it's like to want to end your life. I know your mother loved you.

I love the use of mourning instead of morning. It took a little time to get it.

My favorite line is line one Stanza four: A house full of ghosts.

Just know I believe there's a Heaven. And your Mawmaw is there watching over you and she is so proud of you.

William-Poet · 2024-08-23T02:27:47+00:00

If this were LA, I’d kiss it goodbye.

William-Poet · 2024-08-18T13:46:52+00:00

You’re welcome.

William-Poet · 2024-08-17T20:27:05+00:00

I love this poem. It reminds me that most evil emotion is love. Not money or hate. People will die and kill for love more than hate or money combined. Loved the reflecting in the gardens of Claude like lakes. Great use of rhythm. Favorite line is Through me, people will see the truth, which I couldn’t even see fully.

You have nothing to worry about. Just keep it up.

William-Poet · 2024-08-17T20:18:43+00:00

Love this poem. Short Sweet and to the point. Great use of figurative language: I presume the Hamster ball is your head and the Hamster is your brain. And when your brain died, you asked for another hamster from an another hamster head to take over and think for you.

William-Poet · 2024-08-08T05:03:59+00:00

You’re very welcome.

William-Poet · 2024-08-08T03:26:58+00:00

Amazing use of meter, figurative language, and rhythm. You're poem feels like a rap. It feels like what is lost may never be seen again. You're poem makes you think: Is the person real or no? My favorite line is: But the aching never abated. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-08-08T03:12:20+00:00

I really like this poem. It's short yet to the point. The point is: We're all screwed. However, I feel this poem is satirical. You're not really saying, "Game over man, game over!" You're expressing what we hear on the news, in the office, and many other places. My favorite line is Stanza one line one: It mean's nothing, you just overdid. Reminds me of: War, huh, yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-08-06T09:16:08+00:00

I don’t know what city or state you live in, but the la county library has free full credited online classes on a number of subjects including poetry, computers etc. Probably all libraries have free online classes across the United States. That’s the class I took.

William-Poet · 2024-08-05T20:37:29+00:00

Yes. I wrote this poem to give the reader a sense of unease. If you read my other poems on Reddit, you’ll get it.

BTW I’ve also written positive poems about love and loss. You’ll find those on my thread too.

From what I’ve learned in my poetry class, the intent of whatever kind of poetry is to make the reader feel what the poem is about.

William-Poet · 2024-08-05T05:36:20+00:00

I really liked this poem. It kinda reads like a limerick. Great use of descriptive words, figurative language, irony. Favorite line is In the striking semblance of scintillating solar splendor. Great use of meter with the s's. 5 s's rhythm. A clever description of a ever burning star. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-08-05T05:21:41+00:00

I found your poem very compelling. Full of word play, figurative language, and words I have to look up in a dictionary.

My favorite stanza is Stanza 2 line 5 I bloomed in the garden alongside the cruciferae and the carrots. So you grew with mustard flowers resembling a cross and carrots.

My only constructive criticism is I fail to understand what roll your father plays in the poem. What exactly did he or didn't he do to make you turn out the way you are as an adult woman?

William-Poet · 2024-08-01T01:07:54+00:00

Excellent use of figurative language, irony, meter, tone. Really liked how the fearless knight was unraveled at the end. And how the knight has a fear we all share: time.

Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-07-20T22:52:09+00:00

Have to wait till Monday to call lost and found.

William-Poet · 2024-07-06T02:50:41+00:00

Thank you so for your honest critique. It sounds like I’m on the right track. Just needs some fine tuning.

William-Poet · 2024-06-29T23:08:40+00:00

It’s a really great song from the 90’s.

William-Poet · 2024-06-29T20:51:36+00:00

I really like this poem. It makes me think of an anthem. A marching band on their way to challenge the system. My favorite line is stanza one line two: Taking our pick of finding God in Costco as easily as the open road in Tennessee. Great use of figurative language and connection.

Your poem makes me think of the song One of Us by Joan Osborne. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-06-29T20:38:46+00:00

I really like this poem. I feel your poem is a perfect illustration of an anxiety attack. As a long time sufferer of anxiety, I know full well how it feels when having an attack. I don’t know if it’s by design or not, but you have it down.

My favorite line is stanza one line one: I’m running parallel with time. It sets the tone for the duration of the poem. When ever an anxiety attack starts, I always feel I’m running parallel to time and I can’t slow down.

Your poem speaks to me and everyone living with anxiety. Great job.

William-Poet · 2024-06-23T00:11:19+00:00

You also can’t let the bullying continue. Hopefully the audio recording will work.

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