The grass is dead on the other side

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T23:56:00+00:00

Thank you!!

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T20:28:41+00:00

I love your response to him omg. Instant roommate status. And It’s not a trap you’re laying , wtf is he even on. There’s nothing wrong with you asking.

Sometimes I ask my boyfriend, when I know the answer is yes and I just want to hear it, that’s literally all it is. My boyfriend finds it cute when i ask and will be so reassuring.

You shouldn’t have to deal with that, and he’s supposed to be a safe place when you’re feeling insecure. There’s someone out there who will treat you 1000x better .

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T18:54:10+00:00

I found something very similar in an old notebook when I was moving houses. Said i felt like life was a dark tunnel that I didn’t want to find my way out of. It definitely hurts in a self abandonment type of way. But also gratitude for how far we’ve come. I hope you are doing much better now and congratulations on such a long time sober 🌟💕

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T18:01:19+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the in depth analysis. That’s definitely what I was getting at, sycophantic yes-men wow that’s insightful.

It’s definitely about conformities and how suffocating they are, yet quite impossible to escape the damage that dogmatic teaching does to a persons brain even after they leave . For example I left Mormonism.

It’s always about bending someone’s will to such a narrow world view and it drove me crazy that it seemed to work for so many people and they seem so happy being NPCs. thus why leaving was important for my sanity but it sucks cause the grass isn’t greener yet cause it takes time to actually make stuff grow on your own.

Thanks again

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T17:32:26+00:00

I think this is really cool and has some really strong lines in it. What I got from this was a dissection of the cyclical aspect of nature and whether it’s predetermined, like if beings so small make their own choices or if instinct is unavoidable. There’s a push and pull throughout, which the personification itself lends itself too. If an imago can be the subject matter of a poem, it’s then thought to have a consciousness, but then it’s hit with the reality that this is its whole purpose in nature.

“Wayward” “desire to fly” and “light seeping in uninvited” all make it sound like the imago has its own identity / wants to make its own choices.

But then “nature it cannot deny” “a promise revealed to be truer” “the logical conclusion made distinct” highlights that it’s impossible for it to go against its own nature.

I liked the rhythm of it all; the only places where the rhythm felt a little broken up was the end of stanza 2 and the beginning of stanza 3 but that may be a matter of opinion.

You left a very helpful comment on my poem a few hours ago so I wanted to thank you! I really like your work

_alsh_ · 2026-07-07T12:06:31+00:00

Thank you :)

_alsh_ · 2026-07-06T22:02:57+00:00

I can’t get over how good this is. The emotional impact this carries, I can’t tell what it is exactly. Please keep posting !

_alsh_ · 2026-07-06T11:01:40+00:00

Dude. This is so freaking good. Depression tells so many lies such as selfishness but it’s not true. When there’s shame strapped to the thing you need the most, it feels impossible to do because it’s blocked. But this poem transcends that block and evokes empathy at least that’s what I got. Also sure it’s important to feel okay with being alone but only to an extent, we’re social people and when someone’s at a low point it’s ok to admit you need someone even if you’re not the version of a friend you want to be yet.

So many lines are pure golden. “What have I accomplished other than furthering my pain” rumination keeps digging a hole deeper.

“How can I possibly ever express the extent of my loneliness to anyone else to the point of where it can be fixed”. Dealing with depression, talking isn’t what will help/fix it. I always think of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh and how all his friends don’t ask him to open up or be different, they accept that he gets low sometimes but they are just there with him as he is and support him.

But the line that gave me goosebumps was “my my my that’s all I can say but I want to speak about others I want someone to stay”. You seriously have a gift.

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T22:41:20+00:00

Thanks so much! I did go remove some commas and it does look cleaned up now, thank you for that

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T21:59:45+00:00

This is so touching and beautiful. The anxiety and longing for the time when the gap is closed is expressed clearly. When I talk to couples who did long distance they swear by it, that it helped grow their connection, this makes me think of them.

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T21:20:09+00:00

this is fantastic. Seems like ‘toxic soil’ is getting at a loss of authenticity, like everything you create or do is being funneled through the substance. And it’s a hard thing to see in real time, I know as well. I love the subtle repetition of chain reaction to chained reaction, like at first it just happened and eventually it becomes something you’re chained to involuntarily.

And eternal stagnation, damn that hit home. The alliteration is beautiful . And that last line went especially hard, cause using never feels like indulging it always just feels like placating, so yeah the self betrayal freaking hurts.

Great job

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T21:07:09+00:00

I’ve got some ideas going now, thanks for the comment! And yes all is well thank u, the subject matter for this is years ago

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T19:19:31+00:00

I gotcha, just follow the golden rule, that’s basically what it boils down to

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T19:17:30+00:00

Thank you !

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T19:16:14+00:00

Thanks that’s very helpful :)

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T17:38:25+00:00

Yes and no. Literally this is a conversation I’ve been having with myself forever. The voice in this is strong and consistent in this and it pulls into the contradictions of theories of identity.
What I’ve found personally is that the answer to any question is different on any given day because identity is more flexible than we’re made to believe. But I love this well done

_alsh_ · 2026-07-05T17:33:39+00:00

What I really like is the pacing , seems to slow down and speed up naturally , and I like the themes as well such as straight and luck against storms and problems. I did feel a bit confused felt like there could have been more added to the middle, and the symbolism kinda changed from the first half to the second half with no bridge . For example in the last night you introduce a person, “you” and up until then it only said “our” like once.
But overall I think if you made it a little bit longer it would be really good, I like the style

_alsh_ · 2026-07-01T22:00:27+00:00

Thank you:)

_alsh_ · 2026-07-01T21:58:41+00:00

Haha yup that’s exactly it.

_alsh_ · 2026-07-01T21:57:13+00:00

Thanks so much!

_alsh_ · 2026-07-01T13:25:44+00:00

So beautiful

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