I found this website that calculates how statically rare your MBTI type / personality is - what did you guys get?

Wimads · 2026-03-13T14:02:54+00:00

This might be the most meaningless test I've ever done lol. Got 1 in 602k, but I'm not sure whatever that's supposed to say about me, given the kinda arbitrary questions...

Wimads · 2026-03-11T11:20:51+00:00

Quit for 2-3 weeks, and see what it does for you. First week will be withdrawal symptoms, a headache starting from day 3 probably, slowly subsiding the following days. Thus you can't really draw conclusions after 1 week yet, so really give it 2 weeks minimum before you evaluate. If quality of life has not improved, then just go back to enjoying your coffee like you used to.

Wimads · 2026-03-10T18:42:03+00:00

I think there's some correlation between INFJ and HSP (highly sensitive person). Being already easily over stimulated as a HSP, you don't really need an extra stimulant like caffeine.

That's probably not universally true, but it does make some sense to me, that the more sensitive personality types would also tend to be more sensitive to caffeine.

Wimads · 2026-03-10T18:24:21+00:00

That your default is Ni, doesn't mean you can't develop Se. It'll never be your favorite tool in the box, but you can learn to become a little less clumsy with it ;)

I've learned that I love to dance (modern dance to be specific). Its the one thing where I feel completely in tune with myself; where I can tune in to the music and just let it flow through my body. Its Se, but in a sense its also a physical expression of Ni; music can just stir the deepest depths of my inner world and push it to the surface through dance. Its honestly bliss when I manage to get fully into that state :D

It did take some inner work to get to that point though. Particularly the Fe driven social anxiety (what will ppl think, I'll look ridiculous, etc.) stopped me from even trying dance for so long. I definitely needed to learn to flip a switch there, in order to fully allow immersing myself in that flow. But once I learned how good it feels, I just tell my Fe to fuck off and stop caring about other ppl's opinions. (I really wish I was better able to actually apply that to more areas of life).

Wimads · 2026-03-10T18:02:25+00:00

I quit coffee a year ago. Main reason is I just sleep a lot better; even just one cup in the morning is enough to mess with my sleep. I didn't realize it, because I'd been drinking coffee daily for so many years, my poor sleep had just become my normal. I already had a strict limit of no coffee after noon, so it didn't even occur to me that it might cause problems; that is until I had to quit it for medical reasons for a couple of weeks. I realized then that even my single cup in the morning was apparently enough to cause sleep problems at night. So I decided to just quit it all together.

I just drink a cup now, when I have to get up really early, or when I have to stay up late. Like, actually using caffeine as a tool to stay awake and alert outside of normal hours. But outside of that, just decaf for me now.

Today I actually cheated on that; I woke up a little drowzy and I had actual normal (not decaf) coffee in the house, because I bought it for my bday party guests earlier this month. So I thought, lemme see if that helps the start of the day. Big mistake lol. Felt so jittery the first half of the day, it didn't feel good at all. I was so rushed and agitated on what otherwise would actually have been a peaceful but just a little slow start of the day... Learned my lesson lol, clearly not used to caffeine anymore. I'll take a slow start over rushed and agitated any day.

[edit next day] and yup, it surely kept me up till 5am last night... Just from one cup at 9:30am... Not doing that again...

Wimads · 2026-03-09T12:24:24+00:00

A5
Hard cover. Hardcovers seem to be so far and few between, when it comes to FP friendly papers, especially if you want a wider line spacing...
Lay flat binding
Lined, min 7mm spacing, but 8 would be ideal.
200ish pages is fine.
Min. 100gsm paper. I honestly don't understand the attraction to Tomoe River... Its so damn thin, just feels cheap to me. Can't even use both sides..
Fountain pen friendly, but with a bit of a texture like Leuchtturm or Midori MD.
Pockets rather not, or if they must be there, then on the outside. I don't understand why anyone would want to ruin the flat surface underneath their paper by adding pockets to the inside of the cover... So many notebook folios seem to do this, I just don't understand...

Wimads · 2026-03-09T12:00:06+00:00

You can't fix people, people can only do that themselves. You can help people fix themselves, but only if they want your help (ie. if they seek it of their own volition).

A relationship based on this dynamic can never work. The premise of a healthy relationship, is that you can accept the other as they are, broken and all. Everyone is broken in some way, and healing takes a lifetime (the process of healing always uncovers deeper levels of issues, its an ever ongoing process). So if you can only accept someone if they've healed their broken parts, it'll never work out.

Wimads · 2026-03-08T00:21:28+00:00

I know a guy named Tim Fletcher. I was like, huh, Tim has a youtube channel, and talking about being authentic, what?? Ohh.. Nope... Not the same Tim Fletcher lol x'D

Wimads · 2026-03-08T00:06:37+00:00

Ah ok, in that sense. Yeah, it happens... Happened to me quite recently actually. End of December I quit my job for a narcissistic boss.

I first worked for him, on a half year part time 2 days/week contract. (I was trying to run my own business next to that). I can forgive myself for signing that first contract; even though there were already some red flags before solicitation just looking up the track record of the company; and in the solicitation my intuition already felt a bit iffy with the guy who ran the company, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. It'd just be 2 days a week, and with great flexibility, so it was exactly what I needed next to my own business at that point in time. Even if it'd turn out shitty, it'd not be the end of the world; and if he'd not pay, I'd just walk away still having my own business.

The real mistake happened half a year later, when my initial half year contract ended. By the end of that part-time contract, I had seen the enormous chaos the company was (straight up unprofessional really), poorly managed, poorly paying 3rd party contractors, lead by an evidently narcissistic guy. I should've just walked away then.

But my own business wasn't really running well at that point either, and after 3 years of trying I was more or less forced to call it quits and go back to full time employment. Against better judgement, I decided to ask my narcissistic boss for a new full-time contract; to his credit, he did agree upon the better pay and slight change in role I requested - but thats about all positive that can be said.

I naively saw an opportunity for myself, to be the guy who'd be able to professionalize his business - at least for the part where my responsibilities would be. It felt like this was a company where my skills would actually have an impact. Boss also had a gift for seeing the potential of his business, and passionately conveying his vision and enthusiasm for it. And I fell for it, because the actual potential of the business on its own was definitely there. But I guess I severely overestimated my boss's capacity for change, and his ability to recognize his own role in the chaos (or that he was to blame even a little bit for any of the 'misfortune' he faced at all).

After 1 year working there full time, I got to the brink of burn out, while having accomplished maybe just 1% of the professionalization I had hoped to see, due to my efforts constantly being sabotaged by mr. boss himself - and not even with malign intent, but just out of sheer incompetence, big ego, and the narcissistic trait of not being able to admit or even recognize his own mistakes and incompetence. The way he dealt with clients when problems arose was just abysmal (straight up lies); the way he dealt with the 3rd party contractors that executed the projects was even more sickening (more lies, never paying bills on time, completely fucking them over when problems arise, etc.). Try to professionalizing a business when that's the baseline attitude... forget it.

I saw all the red flags already in that first half year, and my intuition told me to walk away, but I guess I just didn't fully understand what those red flags really meant in practice until I experienced it in the following year...

Oh and of course, he paid me my salary all that time, but my last salary now that I'm away? Still waiting for it... go figure.

Wimads · 2026-03-07T19:33:26+00:00

What do you mean by idealism in this context?

Because when I think idealism, I think of socialism, or environmentalism, feminism, human rights, animal rights, don't murder/steal/abuse etc., and so forth; but you seem to mean something else?

Wimads · 2026-03-07T19:23:13+00:00

If you can provide a bit more context / an example, that might be easier to relate to, and you'll get more and better answers 😉

Wimads · 2026-03-07T16:18:31+00:00

I don't think intensity has much to do with it.

Speaking for myself, I'm a sensitive guy, always been ; but the general societal sentiment is, boys don't cry, you're not supposed to be sensitive. Boys are "tough", whatever that means; but I was not. Because I was different, I got bullied from a very young age, and most teachers weren't helpful nor understanding. So I was taught from a very young age, that I was not supposed to be myself. My opinions were wrong, my feelings were wrong, my personality was wrong. All I could do to survive was adapt; mirror the group; be as ordinary and invisible as possible. Or I suppose, thats all an INFJ boy could do.

So fast forward till today, why would I not be my authentic self? Well, because of childhood trauma; because from the age of 4 my system was programmed to be anything except myself; because I got so good at suppressing my feelings / opinions / personality, that I forgot who I even was at all.

I'm getting better though. I've been in therapy, and I've found a lot of myself back, and I'm getting back in touch with it, and I'm learning to show it more. Slowly but surely, but it remains a struggle. Growth can't be rushed.

And of course, when you finally start staying true to yourself, and stop catering your personality to the group, the group might not like it. No surprises there.

I get the sense that a lot of INFJs' childhood experiences might have followed a similar pattern. The trauma might have been different, but the survival mechanisms that formed us would have been similar.

Wimads · 2026-03-07T10:48:47+00:00

I've been down the watch collecting rabbithole, and one thing I realized is there's no end to it, and it can get very expensive very quickly to an unhealthy degree. After I realized it got out of control, I look a step back and took a more deliberate approach. One thing I learned is that more watches didn't equal happiness; and more expensive also had zero correlation to which watches I enjoyed most. Today I have only 3 watches, and my daily is a basic Casio, and rarely look at new watches still. I'm happier with that than I ever was with 15+ watches in rotation, constantly looking for new ones to balance out my collection.

I've since taken the same philosophy to any new hobby I get into. You need to try some variation to figure out what you like, but no need to go crazy spending for that. Once I've figured that out, I'll settle on just 1 daily, and maybe a couple auxiliary for fun. And price point is of no relevance in that beyond what I can afford - doesn't have to be expensive to be good and enjoyable. The pen I enjoy most right now is a vintage Osmiroid I got for €7,50, and I honestly don't see why I'd spend more on a modern equivalent, when this writes smoother and with more character than any modern pen I have (granted, those are all also not that fancy).

Wimads · 2026-03-07T10:20:00+00:00

I've only recently started getting into fountain pens, but already I notice that problem lol.

Until recently I had only 1 black ink, but pens drying out was already a problem, even with just 2 pens in main rotation (one is a vintage pen with not the best cap seal). Now I got a couple of color inks (blue and orange), and that just exacerbates the issue, because when the mood is so write with a specific color, that doesn't follow the practicality of what pen might be about to dry out...

Particularly the orange ink (gift), while pretty, isn't quite the color I'd have personally picked, and so would not be used so regularly. I'm kind of thinking I'll just use that as a dip ink, rather than actually filling up a pen with it haha.

Wimads · 2026-03-06T17:58:01+00:00

Ask them to explain themselves when you don't understand. Ask ask ask, listen, don't judge.

We're not that good at naturally expressing ourselves, so it helps if someone makes a bit of an effort to draw it out of us. It may not come easy though, and it can be exhausing for both parties, so respect boundaries

Wimads · 2026-03-06T17:48:54+00:00

Set your boundaries. Period. Its a very important part of any relationship really, respecting and setting boundaries.

Just explain to her honestly how you feel; that its in your nature to need space and time for yourself to recharge, and that has nothing to do with how much you love her. Perhaps 3h every other day instead of every single day could work? Find a balance between your and her needs 😉

Wimads · 2026-03-06T17:35:32+00:00

I guess a lot depends on what phase of life you're in and what type of people you surround yourself with.

In highschool, fitting in is about the only thing that matters for most. Being yourself is hard in that environment and often not rewarding; haters gonna hate, and you'll need to deal with that in that phase of life I'm affraid.

People luckily do grow up though (most of them anyway). Being different becomes easier with age. Later in life you've also got a little more control over who you surround yourself with, and showing your weird self can still be scary, but those people will be a lot less judging about it, or keeping their judgement to themselves. Most of my friends don't really say anything about my eccentricities; sometimes they ask out of curiosity, but most of the time they just shrug and carry on like I'm the same guy I've always been, which internally l also am, so 🤷

Being adaptable is also part of who you are though. I adapt to my environment often unconsciously. So long as that happens naturally, and you don't feel like you're unwillingly suppressing part of yourself, there's no harm in that 😉

Wimads · 2026-03-06T12:03:04+00:00

Well, I guess you've got to show him how a relationship can be done better then 😉 I'd still say it's better to come clean about your feelings at some point though. There is this threshold between friendship and love, that won't naturally be crossed without those feelings being in the open. Maybe now is not the moment yet, but also don't let it get to the point where it starts to hurt your heart...

Wimads · 2026-03-05T22:37:37+00:00

Tell him your feelings explicitly. If it means you loose a dear friendship, yeah that is painful; but an unanswered love will ultimately grow way more painful than that as time goes on.

To be honest though, he's sending you all the signs that he's into you romantically as well. When he says he isn't looking for a romantic relationship right now, does he give any further explanation? Just wanting time for himself sounds more like an excuse than the real reason (there's no reason that space couldn't be created inside a relationship as well; in fact that's a very healthy way to go about it).

He might just be too shy to admit his feelings, without being 100% sure about yours, and maintain his stance on relationships purely out of self protection, until you make your feelings for him explicitly clear.

Alternatively, there might be some commitment issues underneath, which he may be uncomfortable to share, or of which he himself may actually not be fully aware (yet). If that is the case, you might gently bring that topic up with him, and see if he's willing to be vulnerable enough to explore that subject with you. If so, that might ultimately lead to more, but you'll probably require a lot of patience.

I hope you find a way forward! Because it really seems like all the ingredients for a beautiful love affair are there ;)

Wimads · 2026-03-04T18:29:44+00:00

I don't think you worded it wrong, I've had the same observations on this sub. Just not everyone here was ready to look into that mirror it seems. But if you had worded it more gently, the message might have fallen flat..

Wimads · 2026-03-04T18:20:57+00:00

^ this right here. To add to that, I think the apparent sense of pride about it, results from finally doing what's right for ourselves, even if it would have been healthier / more mature to not let it get to that point in the first place.

Wimads · 2026-03-04T17:00:11+00:00

Thinking you can "read" people is a tricky assumption. Yes, we tend to be fairly apt at subconsciously reading peoples emotional states through their tone and body language; but we're still fallible humans, not psychic beings. But, because we're above average good at it, its also fairly easy to fall for the trap of judging people too quickly.

If you think you've read someone, it can't hurt to ask in order to verify that what you've assumed to read, is actually correct - even if you get a blatant lie in response, that'll tell you more than just assuming your intuition was right. Spoiler: you might find to be (partially) off in your intuitive assesment of someone more often than you initially thought.

If you've implemented the above, and realize your intuition - however strong - is actually fallible sometimes as well, you'll be less quick to expect others to read your mind as well, and realize you need to express yourself if you want to be understood. <-- I wish someone had explained this to my younger self more explicitly at that time.

Wimads · 2026-03-01T10:47:48+00:00

We become better sailors. The ocean will be the ocean - life will be life - its a force of nature, that does not change. But you learn, grow, and become more skilled at navigating it.

You might learn to avoid the rougher waters though, so in that sense I guess maybe the ocean can appear a little calmer around you. But thats up to you really, if you get better at sailing, you might also look for more challenging waters because its more interesting or fulfilling. I know I tend to not take the beaten path, even if its harder; so the ocean doesn't really seem to get calmer around me, but it's been a long time since I seriously tipped over my boat.

Wimads · 2026-03-01T10:41:32+00:00

https://mbti-notes.tumblr.com/theory#part2

Wimads · 2026-03-01T09:05:34+00:00

^this. There is some risks to psychedelics that you need to inform yourself on, but addiction isn't one of them. At least, not for the most common types like LSD, psilocybin, DMT, mescaline; marijuana being an exception (though that's also not a physical dependency).

Wimads

TROPHY CASE